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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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Again?! - February 4th 2011, 07:56 PM

I have a history of cutting myself, I'd been addicted to it for six months, I used to cut every day and still have scars. Nobody knew at the time, I hid all my scars very well (I still have two or three). I stopped doing it two years ago but for the past couple of days I've been feeling really awful, all my negative feeling came back and I don't know what to do anymore. The only thing that is stopping me form grabbing the knife and cutting myself is the fact that I have to face it in the morning. That, and my friends, are the only things that have been stopping me from doing it for the past two years. Well, for the past week my friend hasn't answered any of my text messages or calls. I know she is studying and when she does that, she doesn't wnaswer to anyone. But, I have this crazy thoughts in my head that she's forgotten all about me and that she is hanging out with someone else. I try to convince myself that she is just studying (she does have a lot of exams) but I just can't. Next, I have pretty strong feelings for one boy (who obviously doesn't have any feelings for me), and a girl (I think she's bi but I don't know how to approach to her) and one more girl. I'm confused because I don't know how I can have feelings for a boy and two girls at the same time. And I'm all alone, I just don't know why not to grab something sharp and cut myself, I don't know what's holding me.
   
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Re: Again?! - February 4th 2011, 08:07 PM

Hey, first of all 2 years is brilliant well done! You don't want to cut yourself, i know you don't
It's great that you have friends to talk to and i'm sure she is probably studying so don't worry about it.
You should try alternatives such as crushing ice in your hand or distracting yourself by reading or writing. I know you feel alone at the moment but your not, you can always talk to me if you want to.
Don't get back into SH, as you know it is dangerous and leaves scars which are there for life
Feel free to PM me if you want to talk
Take care and stay strong
Charli


'Never do anything that you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics'



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Re: Again?! - February 4th 2011, 08:20 PM

Hey,

I think it's great you were able to give up self harm for so long, that's a huge accomplishment, and obviously isn't a very easy thing to do. You should really be proud of yourself.

When you have a pattern of self harm in the past sometimes it's easy to be drawn back to it in the future. Self harm often seems impossible to get rid of, for even when you give it up it constantly haunts you, even years later.

But that doesn't mean you have to give into it. Life might be difficult for you right now, but you have to realize that self harm will only make it more difficult on you. You'll spiral back into the life you used to have, which I'm assuming was not as good as the one you have right now. So it's really just not worth it.

Try to distract yourself. When you feel like cutting take a walk, read a book, write, go on the internet. Do anything you feel will get your mind off the things that are making you want to SH, and SH itself.

You don't need cutting to make it through life. Keep telling yourself that; eventually you're going to believe it.





A lonely soul in a land of broken hearts


   
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Re: Again?! - February 4th 2011, 08:30 PM

Hey, thanks for your reply
I know it's bad to SH but I don't know how to relieve my anguish I know I should do all the things I did before to distract myself, I know all the possibilities because I read so many books on SH. But I don't know how to stop all these crazy thoughts in my head, these insane pictures about my friend not wanting to be with me anymore, about this boy and girl and it seems to me I'm not normal. I, somehow, lost myself in the process and don't know how to return to my happy thoughts anymore. I sometimes think I'm a freak-what person in their right mind would go back to cutting after two years of apstinence, fell in love with a boy and a girl and thought their friend abandonned them?
   
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Re: Again?! - February 4th 2011, 08:36 PM

I've gone through the cutting thing too. Its an addiction. And theres a thing called 28 days. It takes 28 days to get over an addiction. You go through withdrawal. I did it last year. I stopped for... 6 months maybe and started again. Then I got really addicted and my new years resolution was no more cutting so the past month I've been a wreck. Dont put yourself through that again.


"You looked at me one last time and said, I'm done holding on for nothing" </3
   
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Re: Again?! - February 4th 2011, 08:46 PM

Unfortunately, I know what it takes to stop. I tried so many times and succeeded on my own. I really don't know how. But I still have urges, like right now because it seems that I'm standing in one place and it only gets worse. I know I'll ruin everything if I start to cut again, if I continue to have these insanse thoughts about my friend, if I continue being paranoid but I can't help myself. I have trouble sleeping for the past 7 days, I dream about everything and wake up feeling confused and disoriented.
   
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