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Blair Offline
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Quitting or not? - February 5th 2011, 02:17 AM

I can't make up my mind about if I wanna quit or not. I don't mean that I'll decide to quit but then I cut. I mean I'll decide to try to fight urges and then the next day I'll be totally okay with cutting and all. This is really frustrating

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Re: Quitting or not? - February 5th 2011, 10:52 AM

You've just got to keep trying, try alternatives to distract yourself. It will be hard but you can do it, i know you can
Stay strong and take care :-)

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Re: Quitting or not? - February 5th 2011, 01:29 PM

I feel the same way, I'm always changing my mind about quitting.

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Re: Quitting or not? - February 5th 2011, 02:48 PM

Hey Blair,

I think it's normal to have mixed feelings about quitting self harm. Part of you really loves the supposed relief that cutting gives you, but the other part of you realizes that relief never lasts and eventually only makes things worse. So you battle with yourself, wondering which side you'll choose. You choose to quit one day, but the next you long for the relief and you change your mind.

I think the important thing to do is replace cutting with other, healthier things that provide relief for you. There are a whole list of alternatives and distractions to self harm here. I guarantee that if you try them, more than one of them will prove to be helpful for you.

I remember something my therapist told me one time about any addiction. It's a decision you make every day. You don't make it once and be done with it; you make it every time you have an urge, every time you feel like things would be so much easier if you could just cut. Don't be under the impression that it's a decision you make one time, because that's setting yourself up for failure. Be prepared to make it multiple times a day. That's what it takes.

I'm here if you ever need to talk. Best of luck.

A lonely soul in a land of broken hearts

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Re: Quitting or not? - February 5th 2011, 03:06 PM

Thanks..I'm just thinking it seems like there's this piece of me that thinks I'm a freak for being this way and wants to get normal. But most of me like 70% of me, is enraptured by pain. I've tried alternatives. The thing is, the only ones that work for me aren't on the list. Because they're really not so much better than cutting. It has to be something that hurts enough where I can't think about anything but the pain. There's not really a safe way to do that. And your therapist was right. It's every single day. And I'm so damn inconsistent that I may never go more than a day without it. I'm going to see a therapist for the first time on I think Wednesday. Problem with that is I know I'm just gonna lie the whole time. =\

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