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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Blair Offline
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What guy would want me? - February 5th 2011, 08:33 PM

I don't think I was ever much but my body was something guys have always very much taken a shine to. Every guy who's seen me topless thought I was beautiful. What guy would want me now though? Now that I'm a mess of cuts and scars? I'll never be something desireable again.


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Re: What guy would want me? - February 5th 2011, 09:07 PM

Hey Blair,

I'm really sorry to hear that you're feeling this way right now and although I've had no experience with self harm and I don't know all that much about it, I just wanted to tell you that if a guy likes you enough then he really won't mind what your body looks like and they are the guys that matter the most. I'm sure that there are people out there who appreciate and understand what you're going through right now and what you have been through in the past. Some people see scars as being beautiful because they're unique to you and each has their own different story. You're beautiful whether you have scars or not and nobody should ever tell you any differently. If you ever want to talk then feel free to leave me a message at anytime as I'm always more than happy to talk about everything and anything.

I hope that you're feeling better about things soon! <3





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Re: What guy would want me? - February 5th 2011, 09:14 PM

Blair, thats not true. If you find someone who understands you, and what you've gone through, at least a bit, you'll be fine.

I thought the same way as you, especially feeling insecure about my upper arms and shoulders, but also insecure about all the other cuts and scars. However, my current boyfriend has seen the various marks, and he doesn't mind. He sees them, and has acknowledged them, but most of the time he ignores it, and I feel somewhat normal in those moments.

Point is, eventually you'll find someone who thinks you're beautiful, even with your scars. It may not happen right away, but it will happen someday, I promise you that.


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Re: What guy would want me? - February 5th 2011, 09:26 PM

Blair,

Everyone has problems. There's the shy guys who can't find girls because they aren't talkative. There's the insecure girls who can't find a relationship as easily because most guys want a confident girl. Do you think that those people are capable of falling in love? I hope your answer is yes. And if it is... then why aren't you?

Love isn't finding someone who is perfect. You don't love someone because they're beautiful, or because they're flawless. Real love is loving someone not despite their flaws, but almost because of them. Who would want to be with someone perfect? Who would want to look at their partner and see no flaws? There is beauty in flaws, and they are looked at far too negatively.

Guys date girls with depression. They date girls who are insecure. And they can date girls with scars. Don't feel down on yourself for your scars. There is someone out there who is going to find you beautiful, no matter what you look like.





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Re: What guy would want me? - February 5th 2011, 09:37 PM

I can assure you this is not fact. I also have scars across my body. On my legs mostly, and I still find someone who would like to put the pieces back together. It's a matter of feeling good in the skin you're in. The best thing I can tell you is to stop showing people your chest, and they may want to indulge in a conversation with you.
   
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Re: What guy would want me? - February 5th 2011, 10:28 PM

You don't get told what you wanna hear by keeping your clothes on


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Re: What guy would want me? - February 5th 2011, 10:30 PM

That's far fromt he truth.
   
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Re: What guy would want me? - February 5th 2011, 10:35 PM

Maybe for some girls


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Re: What guy would want me? - February 5th 2011, 11:11 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Blair View Post
Maybe for some girls
Well actually, once you get older, guys won't be as superficial and pervy. Trust me.


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Re: What guy would want me? - February 5th 2011, 11:18 PM

Well for now I'm 15 and no guy would want me now. That was the ONLY reason I got guys because I'm easy and now...


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Re: What guy would want me? - February 6th 2011, 12:13 AM

Your posts sound like they are coming from a girl who has very little respect for herself. You think you deserve to be called beautiful, but only if you show a guy your chest? Obviously you feel that's the best kind of guy you can get. If getting told you have a hot chest is the only way you feel loved, then maybe these scars are a blessing. I really hope you realize you deserve better one day. You truly do.

I'm fifteen as well. I've never had a boyfriend. No guy has ever told me I'm beautiful. But I'm okay with that. Because I respect myself, and I know that I am beautiful, even if no one has told me so. Eventually you're going to find a guy that sees your beauty in all the right places. But you'll never find them if you settle for the guy who only tells you you're beautiful if you give him what he wants.





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Re: What guy would want me? - February 6th 2011, 12:31 AM

Well I give my respect to those who earn it and I definately haven't earned it. You may not have to have guys say sh*t about your appearance to be alright with it but I do. Is that stupid? Maybe. But it's true.


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Re: What guy would want me? - February 6th 2011, 06:14 AM

You will find some one who loves you scars and all. I am a recovering self harmer myself. You are beautiful because of your scars. I know it is hard to hold your head up when you have scars all over your body but don't let them stop you. You are beautiful on the inside and outside.


Wish





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