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tay Offline
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Exclamation I don't know what to do. - February 10th 2011, 04:28 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I don't know what to do anymore. My life just keeps falling apart in front of my eyes and I keep trying to pick up all the peices but it's so hard. I used to cut really bad. I have big thick scars all over my legs, and when I look at them I just keep thinking of how wonderful it would feel to drag the blade again, to feel the pain and release the tension. I have no one to talk to, no where to go, I'm stuck. Everything I ever try to do in my life fails, everything. I tried to go to three different colleges three different times, got my hopes so high, then they crashed in front of my eyes. I FINALLY get a job and last night my brother had a seizure so bad that he doesn't remember anything anymore, he could barely walk, I had to call out, I had no choice, and I got fired. It was the very first time I called out too. I'm just so confused and so hurt, and I can't talk to anyone about this because my mother would just tell me to suck it up. She doesn't even realize how badly I'm hurting, and how easy it would be to just cut again. I just think it's so disgusting how badly I want to see myself bleed. It's making me sick, and I can't sleep. I don't know what to do, I honestly can't do this anymore. I just don't know...
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Fineshrine Offline
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Re: I don't know what to do. - February 10th 2011, 04:34 AM

Hi Tay.

It sounds like you're going through a difficult time in you're life right now, and I'm sorry to hear that. But you don't need to cut again, there are plenty of other things that you could do to keep you're mind off of self injury. Coloring and Music always help me out when I'm feeling really low, maybe you could see if there are some things that would help you.

And I'm sorry that you're mother is like that. no one deserves to be told to "suck it up." Everyone at TH cares about you a lot, so if you ever need to talk, just PM me.

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Re: I don't know what to do. - February 12th 2011, 11:00 AM

It sounds like things are rough for you at the moment, stay strong, and they will turn themselves around. Don't get back into SH, distract yourself with things such as reading or writing, find something that works for you. Have you properly explained to your mom? You need to make her understand how serious this is.
I'm sorry you feel you can't talk to people close to you; feel free to PM me if you want to talk, i'l always listen.

'Everything will be okay in the end, if it's not okay, then it's not the end'

Stay strong and take care

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