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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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lola jonson Offline
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once a self harmer always a self harmer? - February 14th 2011, 11:02 PM

Do you think that if you self harmed at one point in your life that you will always be labeled as a self harmer? Is it alwys a part of someone? even if they go ten years without doing it are they still a self harmer? Is there always going to be a possibility of going back to self harm? Or do you think that there is a point where a self harmer isn't a self harmer anymore? Do you think that it is something that can be put in the past or would it always be with you? Is self harm something that you can really get over or will you struggle with it for your whole life even if you're not doing it anymore?


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Re: once a self harmer always a self harmer? - February 14th 2011, 11:05 PM

well i think its on the person opinon i think once u try to stop ur not any more yes the scars are there but that shows u that u quit and u did do and ur not going back and u will get over it u may have triggering moments but u can fight throu it and there will be a time where u dont have to worry about it




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Re: once a self harmer always a self harmer? - February 14th 2011, 11:25 PM

Hey (:
I think, it fully is part of someone. But I don't think that they'll be 'labeled' as it. And yes, there is always a chance that someone that self harms and has stopped could go back to self harm, but there is a possibility that they won't go back. Maybe because they found a better way to cope or something else. I also believe that it also will always be with you. You know that you self harmed before and there is no going back and erasing all of that. But just because it's a part of who you are, you shouldn't let it hold you back from what you want in the future.
   
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Re: once a self harmer always a self harmer? - February 14th 2011, 11:39 PM

Mmm... That's tricky.
I'd definitely say that it's a matter of opinion.
Personally, I think that labeling any addiction or 'self-imposed condition' as a lifetime thing can be really damaging, in itself. If someone has successfully stopped doing a thing (and has no intentions of starting up again) I think that it's up to them, whether or not they choose to continue labeling themselves as someone who does that thing. No one can rightly tell you what you are or are not.







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Re: once a self harmer always a self harmer? - February 15th 2011, 12:45 AM

Well I'm sure that the opinions on this are going to differ a great deal, but my opinion is that it's always going to be a part of you, but you can be a Recovered Self-harmer. There is always the chance of relapse. Is it something that can be put in the past? I'm still trying to figure that out myself. I hope this helped at least a little.


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Re: once a self harmer always a self harmer? - February 15th 2011, 06:39 AM

Those are some very interesting questions, and as you can see by the answers already received, there are many different opinions on the matter.

I'll answer your questions one by one.

Quote:
Do you think that if you self harmed at one point in your life that you will always be labeled as a self harmer?
No, I don't think you will always wear that label. The word 'self harmer' implies present tense, meaning you're still doing it. Once you stop self harming, I think you can move away from that label, both given by yourself and others.

Quote:
Is it alwys a part of someone? even if they go ten years without doing it are they still a self harmer?


In a way, yes, I think it will always be part of you. Once you've done it, you can't take that back. You will always have the knowledge, the memory, of doing it. But, as I said before, I don't think that means you'll always be a self harmer.

Quote:
Is there always going to be a possibility of going back to self harm? Or do you think that there is a point where a self harmer isn't a self harmer anymore?
Yes, there's always that possibility, however slim.

Quote:
Do you think that it is something that can be put in the past or would it always be with you?
I strongly believe it's possible to move on from self harm, and leave it in your past. It doesn't have to ruin your future.

Quote:
Is self harm something that you can really get over or will you struggle with it for your whole life even if you're not doing it anymore?
Again, I believe that you can recover from self harm. Yes, it may always be at the back of your mind, but it doesn't have to control you. As you recover, you may notice that there are days you don't even think of it at all!

And finally, in answer to the title question: no, I don't think that's true. Self harm is something you can, essentially, recover from.


let no science fix our path
if only numbers make its math.
🎕

Last edited by Counted Heart.; February 16th 2011 at 07:50 AM.
   
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Re: once a self harmer always a self harmer? - February 15th 2011, 12:57 PM

I'll put it this way: Anything is possible.
And, self harm is always done to drain down your stress. If you haven't quit it completely or the stress takes over you, plus you're alone at that moment, it IS possible you'll get back. That's the simple part...
The rest is quite tricky... I'm not sure for what the label stands, if it's only for a temporary SH-er or if it's forever... but in my honest opinion, I'd say temporary. You're a SH-er if you SH NOW, not if you harmed yourself years ago and gave up on the habit. When a person had gone on, which is very possible with free will or motivation, the label won't belong to you anymore. Same for everything, any label, any jobs, if you know what I mean. If I used to work as a judge, and now I'm a travel agent, I won't be considered as a judge anymore. But it was a part of me, maybe still will be. The past is a part of you. The labels stand only for the present.
To make it clear once more, why is it a part of you? Because it formed your present personality in a way. Every step low road, every step to recovery is a part, or a component, to what and who you are today. SHing made you strong, actually giving up at it and moving on.

Hope this answered your questions.


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Upside down
closer to the end.

Afraid of the dark
within future times.

I'm drowning there,
my final chase.
   
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Re: once a self harmer always a self harmer? - February 17th 2011, 03:05 AM

I think Chess summed it up best, really.

You can definitely recover, and I think during the essential struggle to quit, you MAY be seen as a "Recovering Self-Harmer". Thats kind of where I am right now, since I quit a bit over 2 months ago. I've gone without it, but I'm still in the time frame where I do sometimes think about it, but don't act on it.

I think once you get past thinking about it, you're no longer really associated with the label, unless you want to be called a Recovered Self-Harmer, which just seems silly.


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Re: once a self harmer always a self harmer? - February 17th 2011, 07:23 AM

For myself personally,
No. It just shows a bad past, and it shows me never to go back to that.

For others,
As long as you decided to quit you are no longer one, in my opinion, because you stopped. You chose to change it. You chose to make it better for yourself.



A beautiful thing is never perfect.

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