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Do NOT cry - February 18th 2011, 01:41 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Everything was falling apart this morning (4am ish). And it was all hitting me at once...I was an internal trainwreck. All the sudden my eyes burned and my vision was blurry. I was confused at first then I realized I was tearing. So I grabbed a razor and started going. I kept on telling myself I wasn't gonna cry. That I was too strong for that. That I wasn't gonna be pathetic. I cut myself as a punishment for feeling the way I did. I promised myself I'd never be so childish ever again. That I'd grow up. But then I'm not sure if I can. Sorry if this makes no sense...


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Re: Do NOT cry - February 18th 2011, 01:56 AM

Crying isn't childish, it doesn't mean that your aren't strong, even the strongest people cry. It's much better to cry than to self-harm. What all was going on that was upsetting you?


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Re: Do NOT cry - February 18th 2011, 01:59 AM

you said you cut yourself as a punishment, i heard this somewhere and it helped me: instead of punishing yourself by cutting. punish yourself by not cutting. i dont know if that makes any sense to you but it made sense to me.


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Re: Do NOT cry - February 18th 2011, 02:02 AM

It's okay for certain people in certain situations but it's not what I do. I just really dislike it. And one of my friends is moving accross an ocean. My grades are terrible and I feel like a faliure but don't have the willpower to change it. My family is upset by me. I've been having more and more frequent panic attacks. And there's more but that list is probly long enough to have to read.


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Re: Do NOT cry - February 18th 2011, 02:03 AM

@Lola: I get the sentiment but I couldn't not cut...ya know


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Re: Do NOT cry - February 18th 2011, 02:09 AM

I don't like crying either, but it's a natural human reaction, don't punish yourself for it. I can understand why you are stressed out, having all of that pile up would upset me too. Just know that no matter what happens you always have support on TH.


"Shoot for the moon, even if you miss you'll land among the stars."

"For those who don't care, for those who can't see, never give up, always thrive to be free."

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Re: Do NOT cry - February 18th 2011, 02:13 AM

It's natural and hell, for a teen girl it's probly even expected. But I should be able to choose what I do and what I don't. That (almost loosing my composure) was NOT deliberate. And that's not ok


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Re: Do NOT cry - February 18th 2011, 03:02 AM

I feel like I have the opposite problem. I can't cry no matter how much I try to. I feel like I'm not a human being. So since I can't cry, I cut. It mimics the release for me. I feel like if I could just cry, I'd be able to stop cutting.

So when you said that you are too strong to cry and that you would be pathetic if you did, I felt a bit hurt. Because I know if I ever cry again, I'll finally be strong.

But the last thing you said about choosing what you do and what you don't do, I feel like our situations, be them different, parallel. If there is one thing I've learned from not being able to cry is that I shouldn't put myself down about it. It causes me more pain to think about the fact that I don't cry than the actual not crying does. So I guess my advice would be to not dwell on it so much. It will definitely come up, but maybe it will come up less if it isn't on your mind.
   
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Re: Do NOT cry - February 19th 2011, 01:15 AM

I'm terribly sorry I offended you at all. I know how it feels to not be able to cry and feel even inhuman because of it. Usually I can't cry. Even I'd I'd want to. The last time I really cried I was 7. So this whole thing I posted about was confusing and a really strange occurence for me. It's cool to know that someone gets it though. Thankyou for your response. I hope you know I SO SO SO didn't mean to upset anyone with this


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Re: Do NOT cry - February 19th 2011, 10:17 AM

Hey,
As said before crying is a natural human reaction, you shouldn't be ashamed of it. I don't really like crying, but i've come to learn that crying is definitely not a weakness;
'Heavy hearts, like heavy clouds in the sky, are best relieved by the letting of a little water. ~Antoine Rivarol'

Feel free to PM me if you want to talk
Take care


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Re: Do NOT cry - February 22nd 2011, 01:43 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Blair View Post
I'm terribly sorry I offended you at all. I know how it feels to not be able to cry and feel even inhuman because of it. Usually I can't cry. Even I'd I'd want to. The last time I really cried I was 7. So this whole thing I posted about was confusing and a really strange occurence for me. It's cool to know that someone gets it though. Thankyou for your response. I hope you know I SO SO SO didn't mean to upset anyone with this

Oh no! You didn't offend me. I know I said that I was a bit hurt by it, but I just know that it is a natural thing for people to feel that crying is weak and things and it makes me wonder where I stand in the world. But don't worry, honey, I wasn't offended.
   
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Re: Do NOT cry - February 22nd 2011, 05:29 AM

Feelings like sadness or simple things like crying are never going to go away. I get so pissed when I cry that I end up crying even harder. I can think of myself as every horrible name in the book, but that doesn't mean that it will make it stop. You are not pathetic. You are only human.


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Re: Do NOT cry - February 22nd 2011, 05:04 PM

crying isn't childish at all not in the least bit crying only makes you all the more human ... however punishing yourself for crying isnt agood thing I would really start thinking about going to a psychologist about it ... pm me if you ever need to talk
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Re: Do NOT cry - February 22nd 2011, 05:59 PM

'Crying doesn't indicate that you are weak,
since birth, it has always been a sign that you are alive.'


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Re: Do NOT cry - February 22nd 2011, 10:34 PM

Maybe I'm wrong…wouldn't be the first time.
Anyhow, thank you, everyone who took the time to help me...you've got no idea how much your consideration is worth


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