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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
xoJust_Juliaxo Offline
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Unhappy So Close To Starting Again - February 23rd 2011, 03:06 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I am so close to starting again, everything in my life has gotten so stressful and I am so scared that I'll start up again. I'm so close to having a break down I'm surprised I haven't had one already, I mean I'm scared to even go near a pair of scissors... it's that bad. I don't know what to do, I'm sick of getting treated the way I am. It's not fair for me to be watching my grandfather, trying to clean the house and do school. It's not fair that my brother and sister barely do anything, and yet get shit ... but when I ask it turns into oh Julia wait.

I'm sick of getting reminded that I fucked up my high school career , and getting reminded that I haven't graduated yet. I am just so sick of everything... I just want the pain to go away. So someone please help me? I'm not asking for a perfect answer or a quick fix , I'm just asking for someone to ... listen and not make me feel like the fuck up I think I am.

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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Boxy Offline
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Re: So Close To Starting Again - February 23rd 2011, 03:17 AM

Hey Julia,

Please, please don't start again. You've just taken the first step: coming forward and asking for someone to listen. Well here I am, and I'm here to listen.
Hurting yourself isn't going to fix your problems or make them go away. It'll only hurt you the ones you love, and the ones who love you.
I get what you're going through, I've been there so many times, and I'm sure I'll go back to feeling that way eventually.
Sometimes just trying your best to ignore the bad and embrace the good is all you can do. You're doing you by trying to make a better you and finishing school. But in addition to that, you're helping your grandfather, cleaning the house, and getting fed up with being the only one to get anything done and without recognition.
I'm not going to lie; all of that SUCKS. But keep strong, and be safe, and don't hurt yourself. You know why? There's already so many other people hurting you that you don't need to chime in and go on believing you deserve any of it, you know?
Anyways... Like I said, I'm here to talk, you can shoot me a PM or something

Take care,
<3 Boxy

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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
lola jonson Offline
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Re: So Close To Starting Again - February 23rd 2011, 03:17 AM

Try really hard not to start again. Remember that its not good for you. I started again yesterday and I feel like crap now. There are ways to deal with negative stuff in life that doesn't include cutting. You just need to find some other way to cope. Good luck.

We do not fear death, we fear that no one will notice our absence. That we will disappear without a trace.
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Re: So Close To Starting Again - February 23rd 2011, 03:58 AM

dont do it.. its not worth the temporary relief it brings. Try drawing on yourself with red pen/marker if you feel like you need to do something. You can fight this... im here if you wanna talk. Ive been thru the urges too. Good luck

"One day at a time, this is enough. Do not look back and grieve over the past for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful it will be worth remembering." -Ida Scott Taylor
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Counted Heart. Offline
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Re: So Close To Starting Again - February 23rd 2011, 05:52 AM

Hey there.

I'm sorry to hear you're feeling this way. It sounds like you're in a difficult situation. Have you told anyone about how you're feeling? Your siblings, or your grandfather maybe? If you sit down and calmly explain how you're feeling, you all may be able to work something out.

I know how hard it is when you feel like you may start hurting yourself again, but in even posting this thread, you've made a huge step. You've acknowledged that self harm isn't a good coping habit, and that it's better if you stay away from it. You've also asked for help - our help - and that takes a lot of strength.

Have you tried looking at our list of alternatives? They're good for distracting yourself when you feel triggered. If you try one and it doesn't work, try another. Not all of them will work for every person; it's a matter of figuring out what works for you, personally.

You're right in that there isn't some miracle cure, some quick fix to all of this. But does that mean it won't get better? No. But sometimes you have to work to make it better. If things aren't good, do whatever you can to change them, to make them better. You can do this, and you don't have to do it alone.

I wish you all the best.

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