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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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Anatidaephobia Offline
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Exclamation Thinking about asking for help - February 24th 2011, 10:44 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Ok so i have cut for a while and i think i need to stop now. I have scars all down my arm and on my leg. I really hate it and its starting to get deeper and deeper. The only thing is i don't know if i can stop on my onw so i figured i need to ask for help.
There this one teacher i feel that i may be able to talk to in school but i'm worried incase i have to show her my arm or if she has to tell my mom i really don't want this. And before you say she should know i don't really want her to see my arm. Today i calved the words selfish bitch into it to go along with the other words such a useless, selfish, whore, bitch, worthless on my arm. I can't show anyone and i'm terrified someone will find out. So what happens if i tell someone?


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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Thinking about asking for help - February 24th 2011, 11:12 PM

Hey Emma,

I think it's really great that you've decided it's time to ask for help!
(This may not be everywhere, but..) Usually when you report to a teacher that you are hurting yourself, or even have thoughts of hurting yourself, it is REQUIRED to report it to someone (guidance counselors or similar figures). And depending on your age, most times that also means telling your parent/s.

Teachers, I do not believe, are required to tell your parents, but after they report it to the guidance department or whatever, the counselor does usually have to tell your parents.

As for showing them your cuts; no one (except officials in a hospital or the like) can FORCE you to show them. But you will most likely be asked to. If you are asked to, you can either show them, or you can say that you just aren't comfortable with that.

Or if you are really too afraid to ask for help with the words on your arm, then you could wait until they words are gone. There's just a few problems with that: you want help NOW, and you don't need to waste time convincing yourself it's a bad idea, because it is a GREAT idea to get help, since you can't handle it all on your own. And while waiting for the words to fade, you may for whatever reason get the urge to carve more words in, only making the problem worse.

If you are really serious about getting help, I would tell your teacher, and ask her specifically where this goes from here. Or if you choose to go straight to the guidance department you can explain to them why you are there, and ask them if it's possible to not tell your parents, since you are so willing to get help on your own without your parents pushing you to do so. You might also mention why you don't want your parents to know. Reasons like them knowing would place even more stress on you and possibly make you want to harm yourself more.

Basically, the more mature and upfront you are about everything, the better things should be expected to go.

I wish you good luck on getting help! If you ever need anything, feel free to PM me.

Take care,
<3 Boxy


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Re: Thinking about asking for help - February 24th 2011, 11:36 PM

Hi Emma,

First off I just wanted to congratulate you on coming forward and actually admitting you have a problem, so therefore good for you! This is hard and I understand the feelings you’re going through but I honestly think it would be healthy to show your arm to the ones who care about you the most. Getting back on track Sh free is not an easy task but several others have overcome it so can you! Like you mentioned I’d start by talking to your teacher although I wouldn’t stress to her not to tell your parents, just let the cards fall where they may.

Let out your secret and go with the flow I honestly think that would be the most positive outcome. Regardless of how you approach this, your parents will find out sooner or later. In my eyes I’d much rather have them be there for you now rather then later. I can’t stress enough on how sympathetic I am, I feel for you I really do! Help yourself by putting yourself out there it’ll be the best choice you’ve ever made.

Best Regards,

-Ryan
   
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Re: Thinking about asking for help - February 25th 2011, 12:17 AM

if you tell a teacher then someone from the school technically has to tell your parents. its great that you want to get help and get better, asking for help is a huge step, good luck


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Re: Thinking about asking for help - February 25th 2011, 07:56 PM

Is there anyway to get around this without my parents knowing?


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Re: Thinking about asking for help - February 25th 2011, 08:02 PM

well let me tell you what i did: i needed help really badly but i didnt want my parents to know that i cut. I found a therapist online and emailed her. she called my parents and asked them to bring me in to see her. I told her about the cutting and she said that as long as i wasnt at risk of killin myself then she didnt need to tell my parents unless i wanted them to know. So you could try that. But if you tell someone at school then they are going to have to tell your parents.


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