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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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What do you do? - February 24th 2011, 11:28 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

What do you do when they're not deep enough.
You look at your arm, see they're not good enough, and it gets more intense.
Harder to stop.
Harder to know where the line is.

I'm literally on that line now, and am so close to crossing it :/
   
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Re: What do you do? - February 25th 2011, 12:21 AM

i have felt this way a lot latley. its like the level of cutting that i am at has lost its satisfaction for me and im tempted to do it more and worse and i dont know how to stop it..


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Re: What do you do? - February 25th 2011, 12:09 PM

Hey there.

I'm really sorry that you're going through this right now and you're feeling you need to hurt yourself.

Your question is a tricky one and I guess at the end of the day it comes down to you being in control and taking the responsibility. Of course I am going to say that you don't need to hurt yourself, there are other ways to help you feel better or to get horrible emotions to go away or to become a bit more gentle. I am not going to encourage you to self harm because I know you do not deserve to go through it. You're worth more than it. So I am going to suggest before you do pick up anything to harm yourself with that you try distractions. I really understand that at times we have urges and using distractions seems pointless or actually it feels like why should you use distractions when you kind of what to self harm and hurt yourself but at the end of the day its only a temp solution and you know its not going to really help you. Here's a link to our list of alternatives ... http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f12-s...ves-self-harm/. Really do try to use them and keep trying new things.

However, I am aware that its not just that easy to stop and in reality you have to want to stop. If you don't then you have to still be in control of the cutting you are doing. It's all about self control. And at the end of the day, no matter how hard it is to beat the urges, you are in control and there is no reason why you can't stay in control. You have to set yourself limits on how deep you go. You don't need to go any deeper, that is going to get you know where. And when you feel like you're going or when you want to go past those limits and cut deeper than you already have remind yourself that. Its not going to help. Its only going to make you get quite seriously hurt which if it is deep then you will end up needing medical help which could mean you will require stitches. And if you got infection etc, you might need a course of anti-biotics and in the worst cases, it can lead to amputation if it gets quite that bad. Now, you might think I am being over dramatic, but it happens to people. You need to stay safe.

Remind yourself you don't deserve to have this pain. You are already hurting enough. You are worth so much more than that and by self harming you're only hurting yourself more and leaving the marks behind. You don't need to hurt yourself. And you can do it, you can beat it. You are stronger than self harm.

I also want to encourage you to reach out to people. They care about you and they love you, and they can be there for you if you let them in. They can't help you if you don't know whats going on for you. Its okay to let people in and be honest and get help. You deserve it.

So stay strong and keep your chin up. Remember you are worth so much and you can do this. I believe in you.

Jessie.


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Re: What do you do? - February 25th 2011, 05:50 PM

I, personally, have never cut, but I would self harm in other ways. I used to hit things: walls, tables, chairs, whatever when I got frustrated. It helped me vent my anger, and the pain that I got in my hand would be so intense that it would dull the pain that I was suffering elsewhere.

That got to the point where it wasn't enough. The pain would go away, but only for a little bit, and then I'd be right back where I started. So I upped the ante. I went to parties, not socialize, not to drink, but to start fights with guys much bigger than me. I'd tell them I "f***ed" their girlfriends, I'd insult them, get them mad enough to want to fight me, and they would. I remember I got my ass kicked so badly I couldn't stand up, let alone see straight.

And that was the point where I think I hit rock bottom.

And then I realized that the pain I would inflict upon myself was a temporary solution to a temporary problem. It doesn't matter what the rest of the issues are in your life, they can always be fixed. Putting a bandage on a cut doesn't make it heal, it just hides the pain. Taking Tylenol when you have a headache doesn't get rid of it, it just makes the pain. Then the Tylenol wears off, and suddenly you have a headache again.

Sure, the pain makes you feel good for a little bit, but it doesn't make the problems go away. And why would you inflict MORE pain on yourself, when you're already suffering so much? It doesn't make sense! You're only adding to your problems.

And I know that me saying "STOP!" isn't making it any easier to stop, but I want you to know this:

Happiness is not something that just comes to us. Happiness is a DECISION. We choose to be happy, we choose to be sad. Sometimes, when the world is throwing so much shit at us that we don't know what to do, it seems easier to trust breakdown and be SAD. My problems now probably don't even come close to what you're going through, but I assure, there are days where it's just easier for me to be sad, but I choose not to. Who WANTS to feel sad?

Cut out the negatives. Cut out all the people and all the things that make you feel worthless. Cut out your negative behaviours, whether that be cutting, lying, making other people kick your ass, etc. If you can't just cut out a problem, then deal with it. Talk to people who can help you with the problem.

More importantly, bring in the positives. Talk to people who appreciate YOU for who YOU are. Talk to people who make you feel good about themselves, not out of obligation for being your "friend" but because they genuinely just want to be good to you. Surround yourself with people and things you love.

This is HARD, believe me, I'm still going through the process, BUT you will be MUCH happier in the long run than if you just resort to self-harm.


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