TeenHelp (http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/)
-   Self Harm (http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f12-self-harm/)
-   -   Triggering (SH): Not sure where this goes... (http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f12-self-harm/t68153-not-sure-where-goes/)

Shanna February 27th 2011 04:57 AM

Not sure where this goes...
So, I told someone that I live with about some of my dark secrets and right now I hate myself and I am thinking about cutting....

I told her about how I lied about my dad raping me to CPS and how I tried to kill my brothers, but this was a long time ago when I was in Junior high. I hate myself for doing it, and I hate myself for revealing this to her. I have been living with them for 4 months almost 5 months now. I am scared. She said she doesn't judge me, but I feel so....out of it and panicking about telling her.

I can't believe I told her. What am I supposed to do with myself. But, I am not the same person anymore. I'm really not. But now that she knows she is gonna tell her husband...and shit might hit the fan....and I fucking hate myself right now....

Riddikulus February 27th 2011 07:55 AM

Re: Not sure where this goes...
It is great that you told someone, it must have been hard.
It my seem like a bad desicion now, but it means people can support you and help you, so it will help in the long run.
If you ever want to talk, feel free to PM me,
Take care and stay strong
Charli :-)

Shanna February 27th 2011 08:47 AM

Re: Not sure where this goes...
I have always been punished somehow by telling people things....I got kicked out of Job Corps and my parents house because of me....I hate telling people and now I feel horrible. I am such a bad person....My dad was so abusive to me...mentally and physically and emotionally that I lied in retaliation. I know that now, but it's so hard to forgive myself....

Nightblood. February 27th 2011 02:34 PM

Re: Not sure where this goes...
Hey Shanna,
Even if it seems like it was a terrible thing to tell, I'm sure it felt good to get it out at the time. It's going to work out and be okay, no matter what happens. Sometimes telling someone is the best thing, even if it wasn't in the past. You lied, you made a mistake, but you didn't know it was a mistake at the time. Try to forgive yourself for that.

Palmolive February 27th 2011 08:42 PM

Re: Not sure where this goes...
Hey there.

I think its really great that you spoke to someone about how you are feeling right now and that you admitted to them you were having a few problems with wanting to self harm. Thats something to be really proud of.

When we first tell someone about these kind of things it can be rather scary. Opening up to people is a big thing because its about something incredibly personal. But talking to people and opening up will get easier as time goes on. Like she said, she's not going to judge you. It's not her place to judge you. She clearly cares and I think its you managed to talk to her and I hope that you are able to carry on doing so. She wants to help you and she can be there if you let her in.

We all make mistakes. Try and not to blame yourself for things you did a long time ago. Its not about making the mistake, its about learning from it. You know it was wrong now and thats what matters. You never deserved to have been abused or anything like that. And I know things seem a bit rough right now but you can get through this and become a happier person.

Keep your chin up and don't be afraid to let people in.


All times are GMT. The time now is 02:54 PM.

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2020, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
All material copyright 1998-2020, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints | Mobile