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Epoh Offline
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Big Scare - February 27th 2011, 07:50 PM

Today I went to work today and I realized I forgot to put my wristbands on this morning. I went into complete panic. There was no way to explain away my scars. Anyone would know I would be lying. I realized then what kind of position this illness has put me into. I mean, I haven't SH'd in a week, but now I don't think I will be doing it as often as I had been because of how scared I was of someone seeing my wrist. I wore my coat most of the morning and covered it up with a band we have to wear the rest of the time (which didn't do a great job so I always kept my arm to my side) but I was still so freaking scared. I'm not saying that I want to stop, but I am saying that I think my SHing will be less frequent, and you know what? That's a big leap in the direction to possibly being free.

Thank you for reading. I just really wanted someone to know.
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Re: Big Scare - February 27th 2011, 07:52 PM

I'm really glad that that scare seemed to have helped you on the road to recovery. Quitting gets easier with time, I promise you that. You can do it

And here you are living, despite it all.
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Re: Big Scare - February 27th 2011, 08:03 PM

Hey there.

Sorry that the thought of people seeing your scars earlier on today made you so scared. Its really great that you've tuned this into something positive and that you've decided to try and stop self harming as much as you have been doing.

We're here for you if you ever need any support when you have any urges etc so feel free to come back and post. Its okay to have rough days!

And remember, your scars don't make you any less of a person. Self harm doesn't make you any less of a person. You're still you and you're still amazing!

Take care and chin up.

"Only in the dark, can you see the stars..."
Josie 12/3/2014, always in my heart. Sue 19/2/2016; Peter, Ellie, Hannah, Andy, Kirtsie RIP.

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Re: Big Scare - February 27th 2011, 11:12 PM

It's better to slow down and set limits than to stop right away and put yourself through those insane urges. It is an enormous leap and I'd like to congratulate you. =] So... Congrats. <3

Your scars are your stories. There is a time and place for everything, and it's good that you know what you want in a sense.

"Although only breath, words which I command are immortal." Sappho

"Sometimes I feel nothing at all. Sometimes I feel everything is my fault.
Sometimes I feel the hate break my mind. Sometimes I feel they deserve it this time.
May the bridges I burn light my way." - I, Alone - Otep

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