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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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Fallen off the bandwagon again :'( - March 1st 2011, 12:01 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Do I even want help any more? I don't even know what I want, or why I do this to myself. It doesn't help at all, not any more. I can't even type my head is all over the place.

Why do I do this to myself?! I have just been sat here for 30minutes trying to stop the bleeding on various cuts on my arms. And for no apparent reason! What the hell is wrong with me? At first I self harmed because I was overwhelmed by my feelings of sexual assault. But most of the time that doesn't consciously bother me. There is nothing specifically bothering me, I'm a mess! I'm causing myself unnecessary pain, there is something f*cking wrong with me!
   
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Re: Fallen off the bandwagon again :'( - March 1st 2011, 12:11 AM

nothing is wrong wif u i promise, its jus an addication to the way u use to feel when u did it, i have sorta the same problem (addiction to the pain and blood) it might help if u get someone to help u stop and that will watch over u about it..


~NoTsObRoKeN~ my heart of glass, my wishes, my hidden strength, my life that flashes before me ~NoTsOrOkEn~
   
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Re: Fallen off the bandwagon again :'( - March 1st 2011, 08:08 AM

Hey there.

I'd like to start off by saying: there is nothing wrong with you. You're struggling, and that's okay; it doesn't make you a freak, or abnormal, or any other negative words you may throw at yourself. It makes you human.

It's also quite normal to be unsure of things. It's okay not to know whether you want help or not; most self harmers have gone through a stage of 'Do I, don't I?'. But the fact you posted this thread suggests that some part of you, at least, does want to recover from this.

It sounds like you started self harming for a particular reason, but with time it became a coping mechanism for any negativity. Even negativity you can't pinpoint. Although, you say that your sexual assault doesn't usually consciously bother you - could it maybe be bothering you on another level? It can be very helpful trying to figure out where negative feelings come from, which will also make it easier to deal with them.

You could try with a simple exercise, like the one I'm about to describe. All you do is ask yourself: what am I feeling? Of course you'll probably come up with something quickly, just one word, like angry or sad or frustrated. That's good, but try and go deeper. Ask yourself what else you're feeling. Once you've figured out what those emotions are, see if you can determine where they came from. How long have you been feeling each one? Did anything cause them?

You could also try keeping a journal or diary. They can be great ways to sort your thoughts out, keep track of things going on in your life, and get your negative feelings out - safely. Also, whenever you feel triggered, you may like to try one of these healthy alternatives.

I wish you all the best. We're here whenever you need.

Good luck.


if you know the hunter's coming
then you hide or keep on running
'cause she's slain the gods before.
   
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Re: Fallen off the bandwagon again :'( - March 9th 2011, 03:48 AM

Nothing is wrong with you. Different people have their own ways to cope with their problems. Some people cry, some sing, and me and you and a whole lot of other people cut. People say thats its not ok and that we have a "problem" but they dont understand unless they have been through it. I understand somewhat. If you have anyother problems message me^^


~Elissa Renee~ If I die today what would u do tomorrow?
   
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