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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Nikkie95 Offline
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Unhappy Newbie needs help - March 1st 2011, 01:54 AM

I just a few months ago started cutting, but I'm afraid my mom and dad will find out because they are really strict Catholics, so I use discreet things like pen caps and pins, and now that I've started I don't know how to stop.

Last edited by Fading Light.; March 1st 2011 at 07:47 AM. Reason: Removing prefix.
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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Newbie needs help - March 1st 2011, 02:05 AM

everyone has their own way to stop, when i tries to stop i thought about what my children (in the future) would say if they asked me what the scars were from and i wouldnt b able to lie to them :/ but sadly ive started again and my mom saw today but i had to lie and it doesnt feel good to have to lie..


~NoTsObRoKeN~ my heart of glass, my wishes, my hidden strength, my life that flashes before me ~NoTsOrOkEn~
   
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Re: Newbie needs help - March 1st 2011, 02:10 AM

A friend of mine saw it today and I told him it was my dog but he didn't believe me and he asked me about it again and I told him because he's a close friend and I hate lying
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Re: Newbie needs help - March 1st 2011, 02:17 AM

ya i had a friend say sumthin bout it today and she got mad at me cuz she said she thought about it this weekend but didnt becuz i was making good progress and hadnt done it in a while so i felt bad and i got called emo by one of my friends becuz of it :/ im also keepin it a secret from my bestie cuz she would go off and do it to....but right now we r in a fight and arent talking...so ya


~NoTsObRoKeN~ my heart of glass, my wishes, my hidden strength, my life that flashes before me ~NoTsOrOkEn~
   
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Re: Newbie needs help - March 1st 2011, 02:34 AM

I told my ex-best friend, we had just recently gotten over this really big fight that got me started cutting, and she got so mad she said if she finds out that i did it again she wont ever talk to me again...shes the only good friend i have
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Re: Newbie needs help - March 1st 2011, 02:40 AM

ok that is not how a friend is supposed to act! they r supposed to help....and i had a friend tell me something like that too and becuz of that i did it and never told him....a good friend would help u thru it!!


~NoTsObRoKeN~ my heart of glass, my wishes, my hidden strength, my life that flashes before me ~NoTsOrOkEn~
   
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Re: Newbie needs help - March 1st 2011, 02:47 AM

ok well you should know cutting is definetly not a good way to deal with you problems...but ive done it too so i have no right to preach to you. First off, where are the cuts? if you dont mind me asking...i got pretty good at hiding mine. Also..here is a link for alternitives to cutting. http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f12-s...ves-self-harm/
Just know there are alot of us who have/ do self harm here on teen help. so know you arent alone, and ppl are here to help and support you. If you ever need anything feel free to pm or vm me. Be safe


"One day at a time, this is enough. Do not look back and grieve over the past for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful it will be worth remembering." -Ida Scott Taylor
   
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Re: Newbie needs help - March 1st 2011, 03:37 AM

I agree that you should check out the alternatives thread. Yes, you've started hurting yourself and you feel like you cannot stop, but trust me, if you continue it'll only get worse and worse. I've personally been there and know how bad it can get. I also know there are ways out. And trying to find other healthy ways to deal with stress is the best place to start.

About your friend who gave you the ultimatum. I wouldn't neccesarily call her a bad friend. She's trying to help in the only way she knows how. A lot of people don't understand exactly what people who self-harm are going through. I believe her mindset (like many others) is that you should care about your friendship with her more than you care about hurting yourself. Therefore her threat should stop it all. But it doesn't work that way. I suggest you talking to her about everything and telling her why you do what you do and how it's not going to be that simple to stop. Educate her and make her aware instead of shutting her out. She may be upset, but it's only because she cares about you.

So check out the alternatives and try EVERYTHING on the list until you find one that works for you. And talk to your friend. As always, we'll all be here to support you. Take care.


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"But the unfortunate truth is that, while being different from everyone else can be exciting at first, ultimately it can get a little lonely."

"The floor seemed wonderfully solid. It was comforting to know I had fallen and could fall no further."
   
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Re: Newbie needs help - March 3rd 2011, 12:48 AM

My am a self injurer and my parent are strict Catholics as well. I was so scared to tell my parents about my self harm because I thought they would shun me out. I was really scared that they were going to be very mad. I thought they would think I was a sinner who was going to hell. I didn't choose to tell them about my self harm instead they snooped through my journal and found out for themselves. They were so angry with me when they found out. I think it was more fear than anger though. I'm going to be truthful with you and tell you that if your parents are anything like mine they might over react like how my parent did. They came and drug me out of bed at 2 am from my friends house and yelled at me for hours. They accused me for being on drugs too just because I hurt myself. They took me to the hospital against my will where the doctors just sent me home and then they screamed at me again. I believe that night was a blessing in discise. I am now recovering from self injury. My parents have learned so much about self harm and now they are supporting me and they are no longer angry with me because they somewhat understand. I now have the support of my friends, family, and doctors to help me over come self harm. If my parents would of never found out, I would of never gotten help, thus I would still be sitting all alone in my room with tears in my eyes, a blade in my hand, and blood running down my arms.

I believe that it would be best to tell your parents and just so you know they might be upset at first but as you deal with your self harm they will start to learn about self harm and they will come to see it as a copeing stratagie. But you never know, may be they will just hold you in their arms and maybe they will understand. If you don't tell them about it I think they will eventually find out for themselves. I don't think you can keep self injury a secret for too long. I managed to keep it a secret for two years until they found out. I believe that it is only a matter of time before your parents will find out about your self injury. It pays off in the end to tell someone and get help. It is a courageous step to reach out for help and I admire you for doing so.


We can never attain perfection while we have an affection for any imperfection.
- Saint Francis de Sales
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