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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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Linds Offline
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HELP!!! - March 1st 2011, 03:02 PM

I've been self harm free for about six months now(hard as hell but I did it) but as you all know I still have scars from it. Almost al of my scars are on my hips or upper thighs. At the time I thought that was a good place that no one would ever see them there. Weeeell of course when I had sex with my boyfriend it's very obvious. He saw them, ran his hands over theI'm pretty sure he knows what thier from but ever since then he just acts like he can't stand to touch me. I tried to tell him they're from my past but it's like he just doesn't want to hear it. Now it's like he's afriad to touch me and I don't know what to do. HELP please!
   
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Re: HELP!!! - March 1st 2011, 04:08 PM

First of all 6 months is brilliant! Well done
Explain it to him again, sit him down and tell him why and what happened, he is probably confused and worried and doesn't know what to say or do.
If he can't accept that or at least try then maybe you should look at your realtionship. He should be there to support and comfort you, not to judge and upset you.
If you ever want to talk feel free to PM me
Take care
Charli :-)


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Re: HELP!!! - March 2nd 2011, 02:11 PM

I'm going to try an explain it to him this weekend when I come home from school. I really hope he's accepting of it =/ I mean it's not like they're fresh or anything...just old dumb scars.
   
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Re: HELP!!! - March 2nd 2011, 05:00 PM

Good idea, and feel free to PM me anytime if you want to talk :-)


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Re: HELP!!! - March 2nd 2011, 05:26 PM

Explaining it to him is a good place to start, and I'm glad you feel comfortable enough to do that with him. Before you start in about it though, check with him to see what his feelings about them actually are. It may seem like he doesn't want to touch you, but maybe something else is going on and the connections you've made are incorrect. Just to be on the safe side, ask to see how he feels before you start explaining away.

If it is the scars that he has an aversion to, and he can't come to understand that they're old and part of your past, perhaps you might want to reconsider being with him. The right person will love you for you, scars and all. That's an important thing to remember.



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