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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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Dreamer Offline
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I think I'm close to a slip up... - March 4th 2011, 11:54 AM

I've been self harm free for over a year and seven months, which is the longest I've ever gone. And it's been great. I haven't been close to a slip up in a long time, but now I think I am...

Things are really stressful now. School is hard and I'm worried about what classes to take next year (I have to have decided by march 14th)... And I'm also worried about which colleges to apply to, even though I have a year left before applying.

I've always looked up to my (two years older) brother, and he's always had it easy with school and gotten good grades. I get okay grades (mostly B's), but it's no where near his straight A's. My parents always say that it doesn't matter what kind of grades I get, as long as I don't fail at any classes. But I still feel like they're comparing me to my brother. Plus, there's a risk that I might fail spanish and, possibly, math.

Then there's this whole love madness going on. And I just feel kinda apathetic to it all. It feels so childish, but I really want someone, but at the same time I put myself down whenever I see/meet a guy or girl I like...

The only thing I feel really good doing is when I'm writing or helping others, and lately neither has been going well... I've sort of hit a writers block (starting to get out of it), but now school's gotten in the way. And I try to help my friends whenever they need me, but my energy is running low and I feel like my advice is not good enough. Also, some of my best friends are leaving for college this summer/fall and I start crying whenever I think about it. It wouldn't be too bad if they were staying nearby, but a friend of mine applied to a college in the US yesterday...

I really don't want to slip up. I really, really don't...

If you want to; check out my poems and stuff under the "Self Expression"-forum.

You are BEAUTIFUL! <3

Always remember to smile!
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Re: I think I'm close to a slip up... - March 5th 2011, 01:28 AM

Hi there.

Being self harm free for so long is amazing! You should be proud of that. I know it's frustrating when you think you're home free, and then the urges sneak back up on you. But I believe you can beat this, and I think you believe that too. Reaching out to us was a good first step, and I hope I'm able to help.

Choosing classes, schools, or anything like that can definitely be stressful (I'm going through that process myself, actually). Do you have someone at school who could help you with these kind of decisions? Like a Year Coordinator or Guidance Counselor or something? Even a favourite teacher might be able to help with this. Your parents are also a good option.

Hard as it is, there's always going to be a sort of subtle rivalry between siblings. Even if people don't mean to, they might compare you to your brother - most people do. That doesn't mean that you can't get out of his shadow and become a noteworthy person in your own right.

Have you talked to your brother about school? Maybe he has some tips he can share with you, on how he did so well. Sharing study tips, or even ways of learning, can be a great activity for both of you. Different people have different approaches, and discussing these can help you find better, easier, or smarter ways to do things.

As for the possibility of failing these classes - is it that you're having trouble with the work? Not keeping up? Not finding enough time to do it? You could try talking to the teachers of the subjects. I know that anytime I'm struggling with school, I talk to the teachers of the class I'm having trouble with, and they're only too happy to help me with it. Or, if you're friendly with anyone else in the classes, you could organise a study group or tutoring lesson. This can help you understand the work, and it can even be beneficial for those tutoring - one of my teachers is fond of pointing out that by teaching someone, you learn it better yourself. Kind of like the helping-other-people-helps-yourself principle.

It sounds like you have a bit of trouble with self-esteem. You know what? That's actually not that uncommon. Many people, especially teenagers, see themselves as inferior somehow, or a pile of other words I could throw at you. That doesn't mean you are. Do you know what makes you feel this way? Has something happened to make you feel nervous, or insecure?

It's okay to take some time out for yourself every now and then. While it's great to help people, you have to help yourself too. As for writer's block - I can definitely empathise there. What I've found useful is to go get inspired - by going for a walk, listening to music, or even reading books. Whatever works for you. I also have times where I'll just sit and write whatever comes to my head. I won't re-read it, because chances are it's terrible, but it gets the juices going, so to speak, and I get back into the writing frame of mind.

One more thing about school - have you tried making a timetable? I know some people work a lot better when they have a guide to follow. If you set aside certain times of the day for schoolwork, socialising, relaxing, and anything else you do, you might be able to use your time more effectively.

Unfortunately, parting ways is often unavoidable. The end of high school can be a painful time, when people you've known for years are all going off in different directions. The best thing you can do is focus on where you're going. And anyway, in this modern society, it's a lot easier to keep in touch with people. You can call them, write to them, IM them - I know it's not the same as face-to-face interaction, but it's better than nothing, right? And you can always organise to go to see them, or have them visit you. Plus, while now's a time of parting ways with friends, it's also a time for making new friends. Make the most of it.

I wish you all the best.

throw yourself into the unknown
with pace & a fury defiant.

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Re: I think I'm close to a slip up... - March 7th 2011, 02:38 AM

I use to self harm about 2 years ago. I've had several of those almost slip up moments. But Really, I know it sounds cliche, but think before you act. What would you really be solving? This is always what I told myself.
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Re: I think I'm close to a slip up... - March 8th 2011, 04:18 AM

just hang in there i dont think ill ever be able to go a year and 7months w/o cutting because i can barely go a week. be proud youve gotten this far and keep up the good work. You can do it!

Not all scars show, not all wounds heal Sometimes you can't always see the pain someone feels

Last Time I Cut
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