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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
*CatchingStars* Offline
Healing my soul
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want to go back but then i dont - March 5th 2011, 05:36 PM

I want to self harm so much everything is overwhelming me my grandma moving in like 33days exact and she going far to and she isnt leaving forever but she been like a mother to me she is really helped me be astronger person to and i going to miss her sososo much then with my classes at school there average grades but my parents dont seem to be ok with thats the expect to much but they dont push my sister at all and i had a dream telling my step mom how much i hate her and i just was with my grandma and she was holding me like she used to wen i was little and i havent cut in like maybe 2 months i stopped couting cuz i have shortterm memory and i dont want to go back i really dont but its all so much to take in this month the closer it is to ending the worse i get im starting to lose my friends and no one at skool botheres to ask why im like this




Life is too

Short to spend

It at war with

Yourself.

Iím catching stars in the sky because I am fixing the soul within me. May it be from the heart a girl broke years ago or my soul simply repairing itself as it was shattered on my walk on this earth. May the stardust fill those cracks within my soul making me brand new, but never forgetting who I once was.


   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
facade Offline
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Re: want to go back but then i dont - March 6th 2011, 06:48 AM

Hey Coco,

I know that you've mentioned this a few times but I seem to always be out of it whenever you bring it up and I don't give the advice or support I should have been giving you. So here it is now. (:

First of all, is there any way that you can contact your grandma? Maybe by phone? Email? Text? If there is, I think you should try your best and use that you your advantage. When you seem to be at your worst contact her. She may not be there in person but it's better than nothing, right? (:

Second, your parents and your grades. I know your parents seem to be give you a tough time about everything; maybe try to point out how much you've improved? If yo have some old report cards or old tests/homework/quizzes/projects maybe put the older one next a newer one with a better grade. Just so they can visually see how you've improved. Or you can just mention that you've improved and that you're trying the best you can to do better.

Third, I hate to say this but... most people aren't going to ask if you're okay/why you're a certain way. I know that, none of my friends ever ask if I'm okay. The only time I've had a friend ask me if I was okay was when I told her what was going on in my life and how I was feeling. Reach out to your friends, Coco. I know that you have trouble trusting people but you're going to have to learn to trust people. You might get hurt along the way but no one is going to know that somethings wrong if you don't tell them and reach out to them. They're your friends. They accept you for who you are and are there for you. You don't have to tell all of your friends. Maybe just one or two who you'd feel would be the most accepting/trusting/caring.

I know that life is tough right now. But I believe that you can get through all of this. You have the strength to make it. You've shown me that the past few days. You've shown me how motivated you are. Channel that motivation when you feel down. You can make it, Coco. I'm always going to be here. Always. Everything is going to be okay. (EDIT: This thread right here, http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f11-d...e-whats-yours/ , shows/tells me that you have the strength. <3)

Chin up & stay strong (:
<3

P.S. I'm proud of you that you've been SH free for that long (: & You should be proud of yourself that you've made it this long without SH-ing. (:

Last edited by facade; March 6th 2011 at 07:09 AM.
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Epoh Offline
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Re: want to go back but then i dont - March 6th 2011, 10:26 PM

First and most importantly I want to congratulate you on being SH free for so long! It's an amazing accomplishment and I know you can keep it up! Something that I try to live by is "It's knowing you can give up, that keeps you holding on." So you know you can slip, but you don't want to be like that so you must fight! I believe in you!

There isn't much I can say that will be different from Amiko. I do understand being away from someone you care about, but if you really care you'll make the best of the situation! Write snail mail letters. That's what I've been trying to do with some of my friends who don't live near me. It's a more personal way of communication than email or texting can provide, and even though it's not like a phone call or being with them, it sure does feel great to get a letter in the mail!

Other than that, I agree that you should really reach out to people. I have trust issues myself so I know that the biggest step is getting over your wall. But that's the only way to get help is if you let someone in. ^^

Good luck to you! <3



What we see depends
mainly on what
we look
for.

   
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