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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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Still Hiding Scars - March 7th 2011, 03:28 AM

My family found out about my s/h like a month and a half ago. In theory shouldn't this mean that I shouldn't have to hide my scars anymore? But I still do. And if any of them try to ask me about it or ask if therapy is helping I still give them short annoyed answers because I just don't want to talk to them about it. It's like I want them to forget that they know and just never talk about it, and I don't want to see them looking at my scars if I don't hide them.


Yet what confuses me is that I don't hide my scars from friends and I will talk to one of my friends about it if they ask. I just don't understand what the difference is.....:/
   
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Re: Still Hiding Scars - March 7th 2011, 03:43 AM

Hey Erika. First of all, just because someone knows about your sh, doesn't mean that you are required to keep it out in the open. It seems like something personal with you, and just because they know, doesn't mean they always have to see it. So no, you can still hide them. It's your choice.

Secondly, family and friends are two different groups of people. Some people find it easier to talk to their friends and visa versa. It isn't strange at all that you are more comfortable around your friends. You probably trust them more to not judge you or try to change you.

Last edited by Epoh; March 7th 2011 at 03:45 AM. Reason: spelling mistake
   
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Re: Still Hiding Scars - March 7th 2011, 05:26 AM

I'm the same way.My mom found out over a year ago and if I could still wear my arm warmers and cuffs/bracelettes I still would.I hate talking to my mom about it and at first she would ask to see just to make sure I wasn't doing it anymore but she relized it was just making things worse and me more uncomfortable.She eventually stopped asking to see and talking about it


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Re: Still Hiding Scars - March 7th 2011, 01:57 PM

Erika, just because they know now doesn't mean it isn't still personal to you. It's understandable that you don't want your cuts and scars seen. I think the difference is your family has known you forever and your parents knew you as a baby. They feel more protective of you and see you differently than your friends do so it's more difficult for them to handle it. Your friends are also able to relate better for the most part. You can absolutely get through all this though and it's good that you've got help around if you need it. Just remember that although your cutting is personal and private when you want it to be, it's nothing you've gotta be ashamed of ok <3


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Re: Still Hiding Scars - March 8th 2011, 03:14 AM

i think that has something to do with it. im not ashamed of it around my friends but i think like around my family i am because i feel like ive disappointed them :/
   
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Re: Still Hiding Scars - March 8th 2011, 07:01 AM

Hey Erika.

I'm actually the same way. I'm a lot more open about my self harm around my friends. I haven't self harmed in months, and my family knows that, but I still always keep my scars covered. I still feel self-conscious about it, I suppose. And I do feel a lot more comfortable talking about this sort of thing with my friends.

Just because someone knows about your self harm doesn't mean you have to feel okay talking about it with them, or that you have to show them your scars. Have you tried sitting down and having a talk with them? You could try explaining that you appreciate their care for you, but that this is something you don't feel comfortable talking about. Let them know how they can best help you, because chances are that's all they want.

Why exactly do you feel like you've disappointed your family? Because, I can assure you, you haven't. You've gone through a hard time, coped with it (admittedly with a less-than-healthy method), and tried to deal with it. That doesn't mean you've let anyone down.

Take care.


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Re: Still Hiding Scars - March 9th 2011, 01:00 AM

idk why i feel like that, i think i just have this weird mind telling me that i need to be perfect for them :/, even though i know this isnt an imperfection in our lives but idk. its just awkward. :/
   
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