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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
okhereiam Offline
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So stupid. - March 12th 2011, 10:47 PM

I took the SAT today and I feel like I completely sucked. The math was hard and I didn't finish writing my essay. Ugh and I was so stressed while taking it. I'm so mad at myself and I know my parents are going to be disappointed also.

My new years resolution was to quit self-harming, and I'd been doing okay with it. But now things are just too much and I'm so frustrated. It's such a stupid thing to worry about because I can always take the test again this year...I'm just sick of feeling like an idiot.

I guess I just need reassurance...I don't want to give in.
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Re: So stupid. - March 13th 2011, 01:12 PM

It's okay, life is a continuous string of ups and downs.

You were stressed for some reason and probably had a hard time focusing, so you can't blame yourself. Blame the thing you were stressed about. Math is hard for a lot of people, you're definitely not alone there! If you need help with math, you could always ask for help at school, perhaps I can even help you, I've studied to become a math teacher for a year, so feel free to ask.

Your parents will understand. Everybody makes mistakes, everybody has ups and downs. Maybe you weren't feeling too well, maybe the cause was different, but that doesn't matter. If you want to, you could tell them that the SAT didn't go too well and that you were stressed out. Perhaps they'll even sit you down and talk to you.

Don't give in! Don't ever give in, you can do it!

Practice practice practice. Aim for the re-take later this year. PM me if you want

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Or do they? Nah. Ask and you shall be answered!

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Re: So stupid. - March 13th 2011, 10:52 PM

Hey there.

I don't think that this is a stupid thing to be upset about. If it matters to you, then it's important. No reason for wanting to hurt yourself is trivial or insignificant.

Worrying about exams is perfectly natural, especially if you think you've done badly in them. My advice is, for now, to forget about them. You've done them, and no amount of worrying or stressing will change that now. Just try and move your mind onto other things, and deal with the results when they get here.

With your New Year's Resolution being to stop self harming, that should provide a powerful motivator. One thing you could try is to write something like 'This year's goal: stop self harming' and stick it somewhere you're bound to see it frequently (and, if those around you aren't aware of your self harm, somewhere they're not likely to see it - the inside of a wardrobe, perhaps) and be reminded of it.

Not doing well in your tests - and, face it, you're not even sure if that's the case yet! - doesn't make you an idiot. I know quite a few people who are quite intelligent, but don't do well in their exams. Doing well, or not doing well, in school isn't the only indicator of how smart you are. And even if you did do badly in these tests, it's not the end of the world. Like you said, you can redo them.

Have you tried looking at our alternatives? They're a great way to get rid of unwanted emotions, without hurting yourself.

If you don't want to give in, don't let yourself. Keep fighting, keep looking to the future, and keep reminding yourself that you can do this.

Take care.

let no science fix our path
if only numbers make its math.
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Re: So stupid. - March 14th 2011, 12:23 AM

The SAT's are possibly the most stressful tests you may ever take. They're basically meant to break people down. Try not to kick yourself over it, because they don't determine much. Universities and schools look at much much more than SAT's. I fall short of my #1 universities SAT average (by about 300) and I was accepted with scholarship. It can be retaken, like you said, so you should wait and see how you did, and then determine if and when you should take it again. I suggest taking it twice.

And, from personal experience, you probably did much better than you thought. My friend skipped a whole section, and still wound up with a little more than a 1500. The first time I took it, my essay was crazy and unorganized.. I cried a lot over them, felt many urges to self harm because I thought I wasn't even going to reach a 1500.. and I finished with a 1790. The second time I took it I scored a bit higher. You know? You have to go into those tests telling yourself that you can do it, because you really can.

If you help your parents understand how difficult the test is, I'm sure they won't be disappointed. And you should never feel like an idiot. You can always get better at math, reading, writing.. etc, but some of the smartest people I know aren't straight A, 2400 SAT scoring kids. The smartest ones I know are the ones who know what they want, and the ones that are able to take a bad situation and turn it around. Don't think of this as the end of everything, don't feel like an idiot (because you're not).. Just make the best of what you have, and don't let anyone tell you differently. Getting over sh in situations like these will make you stronger and smarter than a lot people out there.

"Although only breath, words which I command are immortal." Sappho

"Sometimes I feel nothing at all. Sometimes I feel everything is my fault.
Sometimes I feel the hate break my mind. Sometimes I feel they deserve it this time.
May the bridges I burn light my way." - I, Alone - Otep

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