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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
UltraViolet Offline
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i'm not.. - March 3rd 2009, 06:56 PM

...gonna let SH take over my life anymore.
i cant.
its been nearly 9 years.
i cant do without it, but im gonna try.
and if i fail then i'll fail completly.
nothings worth it.

f**k thearpy.
f**k pills.
yes i might b drinkin to much, buy hey.
no more cuttin myself to pieces.

even writing this, want to cut.
meh, im insane to think i can stop cutting.
this thread is useless

I FAILED ALREADY, MODS, CLOSE IT.
GET RID OF IT.
ITS FULL OF CRAP, I DONT WANNA STOP, AND I CANT,
AND TO EVEN THINK ABOUT GETTIN OUT OF MY DEPRESSION IS STUPID.
JUST, PLEASE CLOSE IT thanks


'thanks to you i never trusted...'
- Boy Kill Boy




This depression is a killer...

Last edited by UltraViolet; March 3rd 2009 at 07:11 PM.
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
lauren_160 Offline
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Re: i'm not.. - March 3rd 2009, 07:13 PM

It took a lot to write this, it shows you've been thinking about stopping a lot, 9 years is a long time, self harm is obviously a bit part of your life, if meds and therapy is a big no no. print a copy of the alternatives thread with you and when you get an urge have a look at it or just come on TH and go on chat etc.

But i wouldn't advise swapping self harming for drinking, its just swapping one self destructive habit for another.

Take care x


Lauren

"The stars are always there but we miss them in the dirt and clouds. We miss them in the storms. Tell them to remember hope. We have hope."

"But in the ruins there is still a canvas. There is still beauty in your brokenness. The faded scars show healing reminding me that even though Iíve been in dark places, Iíve survived and learned and become stronger".




   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
UltraViolet Offline
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Re: i'm not.. - March 3rd 2009, 07:14 PM

yes wel iv just editied it.
for obviousl reasons.
and alternatives never work for me.
ever.
i give up.
and i cant not.
its all a loads of bulls**t


'thanks to you i never trusted...'
- Boy Kill Boy




This depression is a killer...
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: i'm not.. - March 3rd 2009, 07:15 PM

I Know it's hard to write all this down, but when you do it, then you know someone will help you. sooner or later, Hoping sooner, then later. I used to Hurt myslef, but then i went to the coo-coo bin and well, it helped me out a lot.
   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
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Re: i'm not.. - March 3rd 2009, 07:58 PM

Something one day will click and you will pull yourself together it took me 7years to click and get help,and Iv had about 3 slip ups in the past year it happens for most people no matter what they are trying to recover from

you just have to keep going, the more you tell yourself you cant you wont
Tell yourself you can and it will start to show along the way
happy to chat
   
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
UltraViolet Offline
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Re: i'm not.. - March 3rd 2009, 09:00 PM

im contridicting myself.
i want to stop but i dont.
i need to get out of my depressiion but feel like i cant.
i want to die but im still alive.
iv tried thearpy, and maybe id try again.
but i cant get an appointment now.
im spiralling downwards again, when i though i was doin better.
i want to cut, but i dont want to.
i keep failin at everything.
cuttin and the help it gives me is the only constent.
im so lost and confused.
and theres nothing anyone can do or say to help me

urgh,


'thanks to you i never trusted...'
- Boy Kill Boy




This depression is a killer...
   
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
*Jen* Offline
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Re: i'm not.. - March 3rd 2009, 10:40 PM

Your not failing at everything. Even if you only manage to go without self harm for a day that is an achievement and you can just take little steps to reach your goal. Giving up self harm is such a hard thing to do, but with the right support it is possible. How come you can't get a therapy appointment anymore? Before, you hit rock bottom and keep spiralling downwards why don't you do something positive, which will help to lift your mood a bit. This could be anything that you find helps a little when you are feeling like this. Don't say there isn't anything, because there must be something. Stay strong:-)
   
  (#8 (permalink)) Old
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Re: i'm not.. - March 4th 2009, 02:54 AM

I'm going to assume that because you have continued posting, that you want this to stay open. If this is not the case, please PM me, Shaz, or any SMod and we'd be more than happy to close it for you.

If you want to stop, you can. But you have to be set on stopping before you are able to do so. Because it will be a long, hard battle that you will have to fight. That said, it's one of the most rewarding things to accomplish ever in my opinion. That feeling of freedom, pure freedom from an addiction that had taken over your life. It's nice. Someday, I hope you can look back at this thread, and say wow I've come a long way since then. Which I know you can. =)

Get a list together of things you'll need to help you stay self harm free, and go for it. Minute by minute, day by day. Set goals of what you think you can accomplish. Like two hours. Four hours. Two days. Three weeks. Five months. Who knows, whatever you feel like, isn't an easy goal, but is attainable.

Maria.



The best wayout is always through~
-Robert Frost

Proud member of the LGBT community.

   
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