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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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BethGoesRawr Offline
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:'( HELP :'( - March 16th 2011, 07:03 PM

So, I joined this site today and want to... well, just tell my story.
I'm 12 years old and a girl, I am an emo (I know this is sooo typical 'emo cutting herself' and all of that) but I have been going through a rough patch in my life.
My mum and dad had an argument and I never wanna see him again, I am failing in school, arguments/issues in school have come up and I have broke friends with, well my my best friend! He has been crying for 3 days and it has hurt me because I can't say sorry for what I did.
I have been considering S.H, any advice????????
   
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Re: :'( HELP :'( - March 16th 2011, 07:24 PM

Hey there, girly. First and foremost, please please please keep yourself occupied with other things--and likewise, please don't fall into the plights of self-harm. I started cutting myself at the age of 15--I'm 21 years old now and am still struggling (I do it very infrequently now, but still, it's an addiction like no other). If you'd like to chat, please PM me. I'm always here to help--especially someone who's at the same tender age as one of my sisters
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Palmolive Offline
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Re: :'( HELP :'( - March 16th 2011, 07:37 PM

Hey there

Firstly welcome to the site. It's great you have come here for some support, That is definitely a step in the right direction. I am really sorry that things seem to be rough for you right now. You don't deserve to feel this way at all.

School can often get rocky when we're going through person issues of own and I honestly feel pretty confident in saying that at some point most young people going through a rough stage at school, so don't feel alone! You say you're failing at school and its understandable that this is happening considering what is going on for you right now, however you can start to turn that around. I really think if you go to a teach such as a head of year or a pastrol support officer and explain whats been going on they will be able to help you. Whether this by them having a chat with you ever so often, them putting other support in place (such as you seeing the school nurse/counselor etc), them setting up a meeting with your parents or them talking to your teachers and explain you're having some personal problems and even putting extra support in place to help you catch up on work or to get any help with anything you are struggling with in class.

As for the situation with you're friend, it might just need time. You might both need a bit of space to get your thoughts and emotions together. Its normal to go through arguments with friends and although you haven't said what it if you have argued about it feel free to talk to us about it if you want too. Perhaps you can just try talking to your friend about what happened and explain how its made you feel and try and work forwards from it together.

Self harm can become a really viscous cycle and it can be so hard to get out of it ones you'e in. Which is why I am obviously not going to encourage you to do so. Self harm doesn't help enough. You do it but later on you will want to do it again. Its only a very temp solution. And you are already hurting enough, you do not deserve to hurt anymore.

I really want to encourage you to take a look at this list of alternatives to self harm. Not every single distraction out there will help you so its all about trial and erroe. If you come across something which doesn't help don't let it set you back, keep on trying new things. Distractions can really help us get through the urges. Although sometimes it can be draining you really have to force yourself.

Also here is a list of hotlines. These people understand that you are going through a rough time and that is is a really hard thing to get in touch with them and talk to them. They won't force you to talk about anything you don't want to and they wont judge you. These people care for you and are in this job to help people like yourself. Its what they are there for.

Things can and will get better.
Stay strong.

Jessie.


"Only in the dark, can you see the stars..."
Josie 12/3/2014, always in my heart. Sue 19/2/2016; Peter, Ellie, Hannah, Andy, Kirtsie RIP.

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  (#4 (permalink)) Old
Philomath Offline
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Re: :'( HELP :'( - March 17th 2011, 02:33 AM

Hi,

I think it's great you are reaching out for help with this.
The best advice I can think to give you is to tell someone about your SH and try as best as you can to stop it as soon as possible, before it becomes a horrible habit. Once someone SH's for a little while, it can be a hard thing to stop, I know from experience, it's not something that I'm glad I started doing and if I could give any advice to someone that is thinking about or has SH'd a couple times, stop before it leaves you with lots of scars and shame and guilt.
I think you should try talking to a teacher, close relative or some other adult you can trust in your life, telling a teacher at school about what you are going through might help with some of the problem, for example, they could be more understanding about how to help you with your work while you are going through what you are going through. Also, you can check out the alternatives to self harm, they are very helpful and not all of them will work for you, but trying them out could be a step in to figuring out what helps you and what doesn't.
I really hope this has helped and if you ever need anything, you can PM me or VM me and I'll be glad to help.


"i don't care your intentions. I just want you to know my self-hatred never took me where I wanted to go. At the end of the day...I can pick at the pain but I can't cut it away."
   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
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Re: :'( HELP :'( - March 17th 2011, 06:57 PM

Aww, thanks you 3! As soon as I read this I was like "omg, what have I done to myself?!" because I had just made a really big scratch on my hand with a broken cd case... it hurts atm, ouch...
   
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
BethGoesRawr Offline
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Re: :'( HELP :'( - March 21st 2011, 09:17 PM

I can't help but cut!
the other day I slit my fingers... when I got in from school today I was pissed off and got some plastic then stabbed it about 3 inches into my right thigh!
   
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Re: :'( HELP :'( - March 21st 2011, 09:31 PM

Heyy there.

It seems you've developed an addiction to SH. I understand how much this can hurt, having cut myself. I believe what is needed is that you find some other way to release these feelings that are causing you to hurt yourself. Often SH is a way of relieving yourself of emotional pain and/or taking your mind off of it for a bit. Prehaps you could keep a diary, or write something else that explains your thoughts rather than taking them out on yourself. I understand things are not always this simple, but in order to stop (which you seem pretty intent on doing) you must take the first step and do what it takes to change. I do think it's a good idea that you want to change your ways about this, the problem is finding a way to take your mind off of the pain and letting it out in other ways.

If this is an issue for you, you can always talk to a counsillor or something. They will be trained in this sort of thing, and therefore have more useful knowledge on the subject for you than I have. They can give you ways to reduce the harm you give yourself when you're upset, and prehaps get you on the mend in the long run. Keep telling yourself that you're strong and can do this, because you are and you can. Keep rewarding yourself for sticking to your goal by telling yourself how well you're doing, and remind yourself that you're proud and beautiful, and that you will keep it up. Us here at TH are proud of you so far for reaching out to us, and we will continue to be proud of you on your way back into health.

Take care and I wish you the best of luck.


❤ Nana ❤
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As far as we can discern,
the sole purpose of human existence
is to kindle a light in the darkness of mere being.
- Carl Jung

   
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Re: :'( HELP :'( - March 22nd 2011, 12:43 AM

Hey I know its addicting to self harm, but please dont. it gets better once you can stop for a while and calm down, you still have days when you want to turn back but if you can just stay strong and hold on, it will be worth. If you cant then i understand just try to do it safely and hold out as long as possible and distract yourself from it please.
Love and hope to you,
Lucy <3


Not all scars show, not all wounds heal Sometimes you can't always see the pain someone feels



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