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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Unhappy i don't know what to do anymore :'( - March 19th 2011, 10:05 PM

so its been 3 weeks since i last cut. that's the longest i've gone without cutting. but i've noticed over the last week or two that i feel like cutting over the littlest of things. and now i really feel like cutting.

i broke up with my boyfriend today. i finally realised that he's only been using me this whole time and that he really didn't care about how i felt or why i felt like cutting. he's been completely ignoring me since yesterday and i don't know why. he's hurt me and now i really feel like cutting. i know i shouldn't but i don't know what else to do .

i have such a longing to cut now and i'm so close to actually doing it. i was in a shop earlier today and when i was walking past craft knives my eyes were glued to them. i was so tempted to pick them up and buy them.

i really don't know what to do anymore . please help .




and in that moment, I swear we were infinite

Last edited by Palmolive; March 19th 2011 at 10:50 PM. Reason: Removing prefix
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: i don't know what to do anymore :'( - March 19th 2011, 10:33 PM

Hey Celine,

Lets put it this way, I've been self-harm free for over 3 months, and I still get the occasional urge.

The first bit is the hardest hurdle to overcome, seriously. I wanted to cut over so many tiny things, and I had one relapse where I burnt myself over a spat with the boyfriend. I did it in front of him, and that was hard. It was hard to see how it hurt him. Since then, I've worked even harder to avoid temptations.

The best way to be successful, is to have a support system, and have alternatives.

For support, there's friends, family, online friends, etc., so make sure to keep them close. My boyfriend has been the BIGGEST support to me (my family doesn't know), and some of my friends (mostly online, only 2 IRL I can confide in) are really good too!

For alternatives, there are MANY things to do. Personally, I have A LOT of stuff in my room to distract me. I have my boyfriend's old electric guitar, I have a sketchpad, pencils, canvases, paints, beads to make jewelry, my digital SLR camera, I have video games, my laptop, my TV, and other things. I make sure to keep a lot of hobbies, even small ones, going. If I find myself in a bad state of mind, and need a distraction, I have all these things to turn to.

Have you thrown out your blades? You should! My boyfriend and I threw out some of the things I used to use to harm myself, and I had a pocket knife, but I lost track of it since I've stopped myself from using it.

Quit for yourself, most importantly, but also, if all else fails, think "What would *insert important person's name here* think if I did this to myself?". I think about my boyfriend, and my friends, who would be hurt if I gave in.

Quitting self-harm is hard, but in the end, it's worth it. The scars aren't pretty, hiding all the time sucks, and hurting those who care about you is horrible. Once you get past this hurdle, it WILL get easier, I promise!


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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: i don't know what to do anymore :'( - March 19th 2011, 11:11 PM

thankyou Julz
i just needed to get that out there and i feel so much better now for being able to put it into words.

4 of my friends know that i cut (2 of them know about every time) but if i do it again i don't think i'm going to tell them cause i really think they're starting to get sick of it. like if i bring up the subject at all they try to change it as quickly as possible.

i have tried to distract myself before but it's never worked. maybe i'm just not trying hard enough. i really don't know. now that i've read some of your distractions i've realised that i do have a lot of things that i could distract myself with.

yes my blade is gone but that hasn't stopped me using other things e.g. scissors, maths compass.

the only reason why i haven't cut in the last 3 weeks is because of my friends. i know i hurt them because of it. so every time i feel like cutting i ask myself that question. my only problem is that i don't know how much longer that's gonna work for.

thanks for taking the time to read my post and thanks for your help .




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Re: i don't know what to do anymore :'( - March 21st 2011, 12:50 AM

Hey Celine,

It is really hard and you will get the urges for a while still :/ Well done on going 3 weeks! That's a really good accomplishment and you should be proud of yourself Just know that if you do relapse, it's not the end of the world, it's that you want to give up and are trying that's important

You say you don't want to cut because of your friends, but what about you? You don't deserve to be going through any more pain than you are already. You deserve love and to be cared for - including by yourself I think the most important reason for giving up is for yourself - for the freedom of being able to wear what you want and to be able to live your life without inflicting even more pain. But hey, that's just my opinion.

Good Luck lovely and know that no matter how many times you want to talk about it, they'll always be someone here for you - we'll never get sick of hearing about it
   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
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Re: i don't know what to do anymore :'( - March 21st 2011, 06:07 PM

Hey
yeah i really realised that yesterday. i nearly slipped up . thankyou . that's the only reason why i didn't cut yesterday. i didn't want to ruin what i've managed to accomplish.

to me, trying to stop cutting is easier if i try to do it for friends. if i try to do it for myself its just so much harder. i don't really care if people notice my scars. i only have 2 cause i usually cut in the exact same place. so i don't really have a problem with wearing short sleeves.

thanks . yes that's why i decided to come here for help




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Re: i don't know what to do anymore :'( - March 21st 2011, 08:46 PM

tats how i felt. I last cut sence last wednesday n i feel the urge to do it again. I know how u feel. I have my whole left arm down from my wrist to my cress of my elbow with cuts some r scars n some r trying to heal still. I felt bad bout showing them but i didnt care anymore bout to hide it. Its my body n if anyways says wat happened ill say well "So wat r u going to do bout it?" so i didnt care to hide it. I know how it is to stop doing it. U get urges to do it n it bother us bc then we got to stop bc one day we r going to do it worse then we will end up somewhere. Tat didnt bother me either.

I hope everything works out for you. Try your best tats all tat counts.
pm me anytime im here to listen..


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He was a Awesome Kid
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you try and try to do everything you can. Then it gets harder.

Then you give up. Then its all over.

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Re: i don't know what to do anymore :'( - March 21st 2011, 08:56 PM

I often find myself going a few weeks without cutting but then cutting worse than ever. I try to quit but something always goes wrong. Although I am trying to get rid of my scars, I think it will make my urges worse knowing I have a blank canvas. I also find I cut a lot worse when I have a break.

You obviously love your friends and therefore maybe you should prove to them you are trying to stop. Wear an elastic band and hit it against you as hard as you can. It doesn't give the same effect but in emergencies can be really effective and is a good long-term solution. Maybe go with one of them to see your school councillor and get some proper help, it's good that you are trying to stop! Little steps soon make a marathon! Go in Peace!


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  (#8 (permalink)) Old
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Re: i don't know what to do anymore :'( - March 21st 2011, 10:18 PM

that's exactly how i feel leslie. that's exactly what i think too and that's the exact answer i'd give if someone asked. yeah that's exactly it but we're strong enough to overcome this . we can do it . i hope everything works out for you too . and the same to you .



yeah melissa the same thing happens to me. i haven't managed to go this long before so i really don't wanna mess it up. before this, the longest i'd gone was a week and a half. yeah i think that too. it's like when you have the scars there you can prove to yourself that your still here fighting.
aww i love my friends to pieces. they keep me sane :P. i really don't know what i'd do without them. i'm trying so hard to prove it to them. i've tried the elastic band before and found that it didn't help me at all. i'd end up snapping it so much that my wrist would go numb. oh trust me i have thought about going to my councilor but i don't really trust her so i won't go to her. and i'm afraid incase she talls my parents that i'm still cutting because they think i stopped a few months ago.
i really hope you can quit it




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