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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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echokay Offline
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i was 25 effing months cut free. - March 21st 2011, 03:32 AM

basically, i had stopped cutting and i was really proud. my friends helped me through it and i hadn't cut since. i've started again and i dont know what to do. i cant tell anyone, because then i've broken my promise to stop. plus, i had gone 2 years. thats a really long time. and the fact that now, i can't go a few days without cutting, really scares me. its way, way worse than it was before. i dont know. bleh. and now i'm stressed. so may as well cut some more eh?
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Re: i was 25 effing months cut free. - March 21st 2011, 03:39 AM

Hey. Don't be so hard on yourself. It's a lifelong process and somedays we are stronger than others. But I do know what you are going through. I was SH free for 4 years and it came back with a ravishing fever. I struggle day to day with it, but I know that it only takes time, and punishing yourself for any slips will just make you slip more. Take everything a day at a time. Even an hour or a minute. If you slip, you slip. Just let yourself know that you are trying, and hopefully you'll be strong enough to quit again. You are amazing for how long you went, and just because you slipped doesn't erase how long you didn't SH. It's still there and you can do it again. I encourage you to look at every slip as a new beginning. Because essentially, that's what they are. You can't change the past, but you can create the future.

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Re: i was 25 effing months cut free. - March 21st 2011, 03:39 AM

No, dont cut anymore. Maybe the stress that you are under of breaking the promise to your friends might be making you want to do it more, But I would suggest speaking to them about it as they have helped you through it before and maybe they can help you highlight some triggers. After all they are your friends and theyll do what ever they can to help.

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Re: i was 25 effing months cut free. - March 21st 2011, 03:43 AM

Hey, Echo.

Sorry to hear that you've started hurting yourself again, but twenty five months is amazing. It's great you were able to go so long without it; during that time, how did you cope? What strategies did you use? Do you think they'd work now? During recovery, you tend to develop other ways of dealing with things, and you learn ways to cope with urges, which can be useful if you do get close to relapsing, or if you slip up.

Do you want to talk about what caused you to slip up? Talking, as you probably know, can really help, and we're all willing listeners here.

It's not good you don't feel like you can't talk to your friends. This doesn't mean you've broken a promise; it sounds like you've done everything you can to recover, and that's great. You haven't let anyone down; this can just be a slip up. It doesn't have to be the end of your recovery. And if talking to your friends helps you get through, isn't that a good thing? I'm sure they want to help, and they'll understand that things are hard for you right now.

Going so long without self harm can sometimes mean that if you do turn back to it, it escalates more quickly than before. The trick now is to stop it before you do more damage. Think back to when you stopped last time - what were your first steps? You could try those again. You've already done this once, and I know you can do it again.

And if you're scared about how bad it's getting, you definitely need to talk to someone. Let people help; you don't have to do this alone.

Have you tried any of our alternatives? You may find them helpful in overcoming urges to self harm.

I know that once you start self harming, it seems like you may as well keep going, but you know that's not the right thing to do, don't you? The right thing here is to take a deep breath, accept that you slipped up, and move on from it. Self harm doesn't need to control you. It doesn't need to be a part of your life. You can get better.

Good luck, and take care.


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Re: i was 25 effing months cut free. - March 21st 2011, 03:56 AM

i don't know. i've just been so stressed lately. my life has been collapsing. it's like, whatever i do just isn't good enough. my cousin, my hero, the person closest to me is really, really sick with cancer right now, and in the hospital. in january they gave her a few months. thats it. any bloody day now she is going to be gone. plus, i have to stay on top of school which is pretty much impossible. there is just so much pressure on me to succeed. i just cant take it anymore. everything is failing right now and this is my way of coping. even with the whole self harming thing, i'm obviously not strong enough to stop anymore. the way i used to cope though, when coming out of it before was that i would just write and write and write. keep my hands busy and my thoughts else where. recently, i just haven't had the energy to write anymore.
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Re: i was 25 effing months cut free. - March 21st 2011, 06:34 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by echokay View Post
i don't know. i've just been so stressed lately. my life has been collapsing. it's like, whatever i do just isn't good enough. my cousin, my hero, the person closest to me is really, really sick with cancer right now, and in the hospital. in january they gave her a few months. thats it. any bloody day now she is going to be gone. plus, i have to stay on top of school which is pretty much impossible. there is just so much pressure on me to succeed. i just cant take it anymore. everything is failing right now and this is my way of coping. even with the whole self harming thing, i'm obviously not strong enough to stop anymore. the way i used to cope though, when coming out of it before was that i would just write and write and write. keep my hands busy and my thoughts else where. recently, i just haven't had the energy to write anymore.
Two years is a good accomplishment. If you quit before, you can quit again. Your friend is lying on their deathbed, and I'm terribly sorry for you. This should motivate you to stop. Your friend is terminally ill, and yet you are harming yourself. I can't imagine how upset your friend would feel, if they found out that you were harming yourself. School problems can he helped. You can get tutors. You can talk to your teacher if you don't understand some of the work. So, all of those things you mentioned, can be turned around. You said you liked to write, but you sometimes lack the energy to. That's fine. Just try to write whenever you can. Just put all of your feelings out. You don't need those blades. You really don't. I was in your same situation. I thought the blades were my answer to everything. They weren't. I don't want you to hurt yourself. You can get through this. If you have to talk to us, don't be afraid to. Just think to yourself, is the blade really the answer? Go out and just jog outside every now and then. Just to get it all out of your system. Along with writing, try exercising. Put all of your hate, and all of your emotions that you take out onto the blade, and put it into exercise, or running/jogging. I hope things go better for you. Once again, I'm really sorry to hear that about your friend. They will be in my prayers.


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Re: i was 25 effing months cut free. - March 21st 2011, 09:09 PM

You've proven to yourself you have done it once, I know stopping is harder than it sounds but think about how proud you were before. Take it in small steps, try and beat you two years, anything to help yourself become free. 2 years is a big achievement. It might help if you tell people you have cut, you had a slip and how you regret it. It might help them understand the depth of your problems. Tell them how you want to be free of the urges and be better for good. PM me if you need to talk! Go in Peace!


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Re: i was 25 effing months cut free. - March 21st 2011, 11:10 PM

i know i've stopped before, but it wasn't half as bad as it is now. and if i tell them, then they are going to lose their trust in me and think i am 'emotionally unstable'... which i am.. but... gah.
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