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Name: Madison
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Post Why must I? - March 23rd 2011, 02:58 AM

My life sucks. I get made fun of, everything. Broken hearted the full nine yards, so I started cutting, sad truth? I loved it.. I stopped, and I went right back into it because I can't stop, I don't want too. I love my pain and i know that it's stupid and wrong, but is it when it's one of the only things that can make me happy? Ugh anyone know the feeling? In need of some advice..
   
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Re: Why must I? - March 23rd 2011, 03:15 AM

I'm sorry that you are feeling this way. You said it yourself. Cutting is very wrong. I don't want you hurting yourself. Whatever problems that you have in life can be solved. Don't turn to the blades as a solution to all of that. I understand how difficult it is to quit. I was a really bad self harmer myself, so I can relate. You don't need the blades to make you feel happy. You quit cutting before, and I want to help you quit again. You shouldn't have to give into the blades. You are an amazing person. Don't listen to people that say horrible things to you. Everyone gets made fun of in life, but we don't have to give into it. Quitting is the best choice for you. Write or draw about your problems. Find a distraction to use. Of course, whenever you feel upset or down, come here and talk to us. We are always here to help and talk to you.


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Re: Why must I? - March 23rd 2011, 03:16 AM

Hey Madison, welcome to TH =). I'm so sorry that you're dealing with this right now. It does not mean you're anything you weren't before you started though. You are the same person today as you were before you cut. It doesn't make you stupid or weird or wrong...it just means you're going through alot and don't know another way to deal with it all. I'm not saying that makes it okay because honestly we both know this isn't safe or healthy hon. You deserve to be happy and stable and cut free. But I understand very well how it is to feel there's no other option. There's a list on the forum if alternatives you can try out. Remember everyone's different so don't give up if the first one you try doesn't work. If you ever just need to vent or some advice or anything you can totally PM me. You can get through this. It's difficult and scarry but it's worth it.


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Re: Why must I? - March 23rd 2011, 04:01 AM

I felt the same way for such a long time. I was all about the pain and everything that came with cutting. I wasn't and didn't want to stop. But eventually, shame crept its way into the process and with that came a burden. It was such a crutch that I kept a razor in my wallet, just in case. I realized I was addicted and while it felt good all I was now thinking about was the fact that I can't walk around barefoot without questions. Or wear a tank top. Or take off these dang bracelets. It's tough. It really is. I know exactly what you are going through and for me at least, its normal. Everyone is going to tell you cutting is wrong, because it all reality it is. But you should never be forced into just quitting. It takes time and effort, and if you do have the courage and strength, you will do it. But don't think you'll be perfect at it. There may be slip ups. I do encourage you to try, in the long run you will feel better.

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