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im so confused on how to handel this - March 23rd 2011, 11:52 PM

about a week ago my boyfriend notcied some of my cuts and i lied to him ab it but he never rly believed me. so last night i finially told him ab my depression and he took it better than i thought. i found out he had dealt with some depression as well but today he asked me again if i had ever self harmed and i just decided to tell him the truth esspecially afer a close friend of mine believed he could handel it as well. but now all he is doing is worring a me ajnd he rly wants me to stop and ive been trying but he just thinks i need to stolp now like cold turkey and he just doesnt get how hard it is like ive tried to stop but its not easy when uve been doing it for over a year. and he wants to be there for me but he also said some pretty hurtful things like " i cant stand ppl who do it and it shocks me that u do" and like he doesnt wanna be with someone like that but he thinks this is fixable so he will stick around" and when i didnt text him back cuz he said that stuff hes just like i hope ur not doing something stupid which rly stung. i dont want him to think that way ab me all the time.i dont think he means it in a bad way but i just feel so judged and im not sure if im starteing to regret telling him. i just dont know what to do :/
   
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Re: im so confused on how to handel this - March 24th 2011, 01:15 AM

Hey, I'm really sorry this is causing you so much trouble. My advice would be to talk to your boyfriend and explain that you want to work on stopping but cutting is an addiction so it will be a process of recovery. Be open to seeing a therapist and talking to your boyfriend. He obviously cares about you but it's difficult for people who don't cut to understand wht it is you're dealing with. Hang in there and do your best to treat yourself with the care you deserve


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Re: im so confused on how to handel this - March 24th 2011, 08:07 AM

Thank you for sharing this with us. I'm sorry that you are having problems with your boyfriend. I am proud of you for telling him that you cut. It takes so much courage to do that. Your boyfriend just wants to protect you. You should use him as a support system. I understand that quitting is difficult. We can help you with that. You should be glad that you finally informed someone about it. That is the first step. Realizing that you need help with this. Be honest with him. Have truthful conversations with him. Make sure you keep a good relationship with him. I think he understands what you are going through. Don't be afraid to seek help from him. He loves you, and he doesn't want you to hurt yourself. I wish you good luck with quitting. If you need to talk, we are always here.


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Re: im so confused on how to handel this - March 24th 2011, 09:44 AM

Hey there.

I think it was really brave of you to tell your boyfriend about this, and you shouldn't be regretting it. It sounds like he really cares about you, and wants what's best for you. I know it can be hard when people have different ideas on what exactly is best for you, and don't understand what would really help.

Have you tried explaining things to him? Let him know that you appreciate the fact he's worried about you, but that you can't 'just stop'. Explain to him how he can best help. If it would help, invite him to ask you questions - the more he knows, the better he'll be able to help. If you don't feel comfortable talking about it, or you think you might lose your nerve, you could always write it down and give that to him. Maybe you could even find/write a small pamphlet about self-injury, and give that to him to read.

Good luck.


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