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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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Name: Madison
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Unhappy Always happens to me.. - March 26th 2011, 11:28 PM

why does it always happen to me? Why does everyone turn there backs on me when I need them the most? Tell me every single thing I do is wrong wrong wrong. They make me run to my blade, over and over again. Its my only escape other than running from my problems, which makes me a coward. I just don't know what to do anymore. Sometimes I think about suicide, but then realize it's not the right thing to do, so I only harm myself and don't cut deep enough to kill myself, just need the pain to carry on.. I want to quit because of the guilt, but then ill be stopping the only thing that really makes me happy :/
   
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Re: Always happens to me.. - March 26th 2011, 11:55 PM

Madison, you're not alone in this. Depression, guilt, cutting, running away from things... If you ever wanna talk about it you can PM me anytime. Remember that cutting isn't a solution it's justafiable distraction. You've gotta face things. I know you can do that without the blade <3


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Re: Always happens to me.. - March 27th 2011, 02:29 AM

I don't think your blade could make you happy, talking to a friend should. I'm sorry to hear about your situation, sometimes friends hurt one another but there's a lot of people in the world who can offer friendship. =) you can talk to me if you'd like. Anyways, i hope things get better for you.


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Re: Always happens to me.. - March 29th 2011, 08:13 AM

Hey Madison.

It sounds like there's a lot on your mind right now, and it's good you were able to reach out to us and ask for advice. Sometimes a second opinion can really help. If you want, here's a list of hotlines you can call. We're also here to help.

Do you want to talk about what's going on for you? Why do you feel like people have abandoned you? What makes you feel like everything you do is wrong? I can assure you that it isn't.

I'm not going to say that running away from your problems makes you a coward, but I will say that it's not the best option. And, in a way, self harm is a form of running away. It's a way to distract yourself from what's really going on, and to avoid dealing with the real issue. Speaking of distractions, have you tried any of our alternatives? They can help you when you feel triggered.

I'm glad you've realised that suicide isn't the answer, but neither is self harm. Even if you're not doing it deeply enough to end your life, it's still an unhealthy way to cope, and it's much better to deal with the actual problems behind your behaviour.

You say that hurting yourself makes you happy, but does it really? Once the initial rush wears off, don't you feel guilty and confused? Wouldn't it be better to find ways to cope that don't leave you with those negative feelings? I'm sure there are other things that can make you happy. Do you have any hobbies? If not, now might be a great time to pick one up. I know that when I decided to stop self harming, I threw myself into my sports and my writing, which really helped keep me focussed and determined. Do you think something like that would work for you?

Unfortunately, you'll probably always be able to come up with reasons as to why you should self harm. There's never going to be a perfect time to quit. But there are so many reasons not to self harm, and in the end that's the better option.

I wish you all the best.


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Re: Always happens to me.. - March 29th 2011, 10:01 AM

We may not know each other in real life, but I'm here to talk if you need to & easy to be-friend I've been in your situation, it really is hard not knowing what to do and how to feel but you get through it. Chin up and focus on the positive thing's in life The more you stay strong through situations like these, the better you handle it for the next time it happens
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Re: Always happens to me.. - March 29th 2011, 06:35 PM

Hey Madison. I'm sorry that you feel that people aren't being there for you. I know how that feels. I have always and will always feel that way. But I learned that it was because I expected so much from people, and I still do. They disappoint me, even when they try their hardest to help. It's not their fault, it is soley mine and I've trained myself to remember that. Could that be what you are doing? I don't know the full details of the situation but if you place yourself back a good distance and try to look at it objectively (I know, easier said than done) maybe you'll see that they aren't really turning their backs on you. But again, I don't know what is exactly going on, so you could just know a bunch of jerks.

Also remember, that no one makes you run to your blade but yourself. You are making the decision to use that as a coping mechanism and sure, what they do may drive you to make that decision, but you are the only one who can say whether you'll do it or not.

I've dealt with suicidal thoughts, and still do from time to time. One of the best things I can say for that is to talk to ANYONE. Like I've said to you before, distraction, distraction, distraction. It gets your mind away. Also, think about this: "It's knowing you can give up that keeps you holding on." What that quote basically says is the very notion of you giving into SH again, or to suicide is something that you do NOT WANT. So just knowing about what you COULD do, gives you all the more reason to not do it. It's not foolproof, nothing really is. But, it will surely help you to hopefully dwindle down things.

I also know what you mean about cutting being the only thing that makes you happy, but like Sidhe said, does it really? For me, it made me happy until I realized the consequences that came with it. I really do think that it's not the cutting part that makes anyone of us unhappy, I genuinely think that all SHers are very happy about the actual cutting process. (Well, you know what I mean.) What I think is that all of us are unhappy with what happens next. And that is why we all want to stop, and need to stop. So in a sense, yes, cutting probably does make you very happy, but what is left behind is what haunts you and what brings you to post things like you have here. You know you are in a hole and you want to get out.

I do hope things slowly get better for you. If you need to talk about what is going on with your life, just give me a PM. I'm a great listener and you can use me to vent all you want. I'm a pretty good punching bag. =P

<3 take care



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Last edited by Epoh; March 29th 2011 at 11:39 PM.
   
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