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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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Fineshrine Offline
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Just... Ugh... - March 27th 2011, 03:03 AM

This is going to bee somewhat of me going on and on about my self harming issues.. Kind of looking for advice and thoughts and whatnot.

Some day's I feel like if I self harm I'm doing it for the attention. Because I'll think "I want to show someone my scars. I want someone to notice." But it's because I want them to help me and comfort me.. I still feel like when I do it, I'm being an attention slut. Sometimes I'll purposely "accidentally" slip down my jacket so that they are exposed and no one notices. Why do I do that!?! Because I want attention.. But I don't want bad attention... Fuck I'm confusing myself with this ramble. If you understood that, you are a genius.


Also, I have a question. When I searched up "self injury" on tumblr, a lot of people had posted pictures of their wrists or where ever with scars all over it. What would be your first thought if you saw this? I told the first five people that I saw with those pictures that they were beautiful. I got kinda tired after that. None of them have replied yet , though. What would your first thoughts be if you saw this? I'm just curious. And would you have messaged them and told them anything?

Another one: ever posted a picture of your scars to an online community? Or even just taken pictures of them for just you to look at? I'll confess I'm guily of the second one. I have a strange fasination with my scars.



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Re: Just... Ugh... - March 27th 2011, 05:50 AM

I think at some point, a lot of us feel this way. I remember after four years of SH, I started to hint at people about my SH, I guess trying to see if someone would care enough to talk to me or care enough to catch on. That's around the time when I was having such a hard time stopping, that I began to actually do it more often. For me I think it was my mind forcing me to find help from a friend.. You're not being an "attention slut", you're just being human. You are alive. It seems like you're doing it because you're like me in a sense, you just want someone to care. That one person who will look at you, understand you, and not immediately judge your whole life.

And seeing stuff like that online.. like on tumblr, it really depends. Some posts of SH are artistic and beautiful, and not only will I be sure to tell them, but I admire what that individual artist has done. The risks of doing that. And some posts just trigger me or disgust me. Cuts and burns, besides the artistic ones and scarification, I find iffy. But I think scars are beautiful.

My scars are there for anyone to see and read because those are my stories, but anything less than a scar is not open for viewing. =P


"Although only breath, words which I command are immortal." Sappho

"Sometimes I feel nothing at all. Sometimes I feel everything is my fault.
Sometimes I feel the hate break my mind. Sometimes I feel they deserve it this time.
May the bridges I burn light my way." - I, Alone - Otep

   
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Re: Just... Ugh... - March 27th 2011, 06:07 AM

Hey Becca,
It made perfect sense. You're not looking for negative attention. You just want help. Help that you need. But sometimes it's easier to hope someone notices than to go ask for help. I know it's hard and really scarry, but I think you should just ask. People do want to help you but don't know you need it. As for the tumblr pictures I would've told them to be gentle and respectful with their bodies. And I've never photographed my scars


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Re: Just... Ugh... - March 27th 2011, 06:17 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by TheCrowing View Post
I think at some point, a lot of us feel this way. I remember after four years of SH, I started to hint at people about my SH, I guess trying to see if someone would care enough to talk to me or care enough to catch on. That's around the time when I was having such a hard time stopping, that I began to actually do it more often. For me I think it was my mind forcing me to find help from a friend.. You're not being an "attention slut", you're just being human. You are alive. It seems like you're doing it because you're like me in a sense, you just want someone to care. That one person who will look at you, understand you, and not immediately judge your whole life.

And seeing stuff like that online.. like on tumblr, it really depends. Some posts of SH are artistic and beautiful, and not only will I be sure to tell them, but I admire what that individual artist has done. The risks of doing that. And some posts just trigger me or disgust me. Cuts and burns, besides the artistic ones and scarification, I find iffy. But I think scars are beautiful.

My scars are there for anyone to see and read because those are my stories, but anything less than a scar is not open for viewing. =P
I think I know what you mean by artistic.. Yet I don;t. please explain?



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Re: Just... Ugh... - March 27th 2011, 09:52 PM

Aha. =]

More or less.. Sometimes it's done as a form of art and they're beautiful. For example, scarification, branding.. And then sometimes it's just the tragedy behind it that makes it beautiful. I can't really explain it very well.


"Although only breath, words which I command are immortal." Sappho

"Sometimes I feel nothing at all. Sometimes I feel everything is my fault.
Sometimes I feel the hate break my mind. Sometimes I feel they deserve it this time.
May the bridges I burn light my way." - I, Alone - Otep

   
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Re: Just... Ugh... - March 27th 2011, 11:01 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by TheCrowing View Post
Aha. =]

More or less.. Sometimes it's done as a form of art and they're beautiful. For example, scarification, branding.. And then sometimes it's just the tragedy behind it that makes it beautiful. I can't really explain it very well.
I think I kind of get what your getting at.
I kind of think self harm has it's own beauty, no matter what the reason behind it is.



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