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Ella.x Offline
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Name: Ella
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Oh dear, - April 1st 2011, 08:25 PM

I weighed myself and I'm nearly at my target weight, which is good.

My dad just phoned me and I was so supportive and congratulated him on getting married. All he wanted to talk about was money. He has this amazing way of making me feel like absolute dirt.

Now I feel like a huge fat failure. I want to cut all the fat away and vomit and burn myself and cut and cut and cut and overdose and get drunk. I literally cannot think of a reason not to self harm tonight. Anyone?
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EmisaurusRex Offline
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Re: Oh dear, - April 1st 2011, 09:26 PM

It isn't going to make things better
You don't deserve it
You don't need it
You're worth so much more
You're not a failure
You can get through
Tomorrow is a new day,

Those are just a handful of reasons, and that's without even knowing you that well. I know we've never talked before, but I've seen you around.
I know what it's like when a parent has this not-so-magical way of making you feel terrible about yourself. Ella, the way he makes you feel...that isn't right. It's not your fault. You're a great person and you don't need self-harm or alcohol or pills or anything else that's going to hurt you in any way. You can do this.
I'm here if you want to talk. Just a message away! <3

Great works are performed not by strength, but by perseverance.
PM me anytime <3
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Ella.x Offline
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Name: Ella
Age: 29
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Re: Oh dear, - April 1st 2011, 09:38 PM

He only wanted 1 child. I was the 3rd. I was never wanted. I can't deal with being a failure anymore. I need to be thin, but I've eaten so much this evening. I need to cut to make it better. No-one knew last time I cut. I can keep it a secret again. I just need to.

Okay, I cut on the inside of my thigh. I have work tomorrow, have to wear thin black trousers and walk a lot a work. Any ideas on how to not rip open the cuts at work without making it obvious I have something wrong with my leg?

Last edited by Ella.x; April 1st 2011 at 09:48 PM.
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