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Do I ruin over 1 year SH free... :( - April 3rd 2011, 03:32 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

hey all... Just not feeling too hot right now. Sick, stuffed up, sore throat, achey... everything... my ears even pop every time I blow my nose to top it off, Fiance has friend over. I normally wouldn't care... But I'm sick... He was sick last week and didn't want anyone over. It's just one thing after another... Seeing the guy who raped me again, being trusted with a pocket knife again, his grandma in the hospital then nursing home, my mom and all her bullshit keeping stuff from me. Like, freaking important stuff too! I found out I had 3 bank accounts I never even knew about! And I had to find out that she kept all the $ that was left to me when my dad died. taking care of fiance when he was sick, having his family over for a week and eating nothing but onions and garlic in every damn dish we ate, nightmares, flashbacks, this month has just been.... bad. really really bad. And I really, really just want to cut again. I know it's not worth it, but that doesn't stop the urge... And if I have another flashback, god only knows what would happen. Sorry it's long...



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Re: Do I ruin over 1 year SH free... :( - April 3rd 2011, 03:38 AM

Well, that'd be a bad decision. Not only would you ruin your success so far, but the fact that you're sick means you could get more sick, or your cut(s) could get infected, all because your immune system is already down as is.


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Re: Do I ruin over 1 year SH free... :( - April 3rd 2011, 11:05 PM

I don't really care at this point... I just want to....



A computer once beat me at chess,
but it was no match for me at kickboxing!

I'm always here if you want to talk!
   
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Re: Do I ruin over 1 year SH free... :( - April 4th 2011, 12:40 AM

Hey Jen

I want to tell you congrats on being self harm free for 1 year, but i notice one thing i ususally dont notice when others post that they want to self harm, you know it will not be worth it... I just want to point that out again.... I would like to agree with the other post you would be at a greater risk for you or the cuts to get infected because of the cold that you have at the moment....

As to your fiance having people over maybe try telling him since you arent feeling well that you would rather not have any vistors at this time until you are better....

I know how it is seeing the person that hurt you in the passed becasue i have been there in that same sitution and what i do is, i tell myself that "Now i am a better,stonger person and no longer would that person hurt me" And yes i have to admit seeing the person that hurt you does trigger flashbacks and i would like to tell you that you should try some disslocation techinques.. these have helped me which i will try to find some different ones so you would be able to try to see how they work with you..

Please feel free and PM me anytime

Theresa
   
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Re: Do I ruin over 1 year SH free... :( - April 4th 2011, 02:56 AM

Dislocation techniques? Like what....? I'm open to anything at this point...



A computer once beat me at chess,
but it was no match for me at kickboxing!

I'm always here if you want to talk!
   
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Re: Do I ruin over 1 year SH free... :( - April 4th 2011, 08:39 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by jenpiglet17 View Post
hey all... Just not feeling too hot right now. Sick, stuffed up, sore throat, achey... everything... my ears even pop every time I blow my nose to top it off, Fiance has friend over. I normally wouldn't care... But I'm sick... He was sick last week and didn't want anyone over. It's just one thing after another... Seeing the guy who raped me again, being trusted with a pocket knife again, his grandma in the hospital then nursing home, my mom and all her bullshit keeping stuff from me. Like, freaking important stuff too! I found out I had 3 bank accounts I never even knew about! And I had to find out that she kept all the $ that was left to me when my dad died. taking care of fiance when he was sick, having his family over for a week and eating nothing but onions and garlic in every damn dish we ate, nightmares, flashbacks, this month has just been.... bad. really really bad. And I really, really just want to cut again. I know it's not worth it, but that doesn't stop the urge... And if I have another flashback, god only knows what would happen. Sorry it's long...
I know what it's like when you feel like cutting when you have been in recovery for so long I will have been cut free for 4 yearsin may. What reallykeeps me from cutting is one of my friends that has been here for me from the begining and knowing not only will I let myself down but I will let ehr down as well. I also have a tattoo on my right wrist that says recovery and that keeps me from cutting because if I do I know it would have been a waste of money. Is there anyone that has helped you a lot in the past or that you think is a huge part of your recovery? If there is I would say try talking to them and tell them you feel like cutting but you don't want to and have them help you. If you ever need to talk I'm alaways here.

I know just because you haven't done it in so long doesn't mean the urges go away and that they aren't as strong as they were when you were still doing it sometimes they are even stronger. Stay strong and congrats on your year


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Re: Do I ruin over 1 year SH free... :( - April 5th 2011, 01:45 AM

i got the following from http://www.silentsymphony.net/System...getriggers.htm


Grounding Techniques During a flashback, the thing that is most difficult is losing tough with the present. Oneof the best things you can do for yourself is to actively help your mind and body reconnect to your surroundings. The following list contains lots of ideas for helping you to get grounded. As always, only do those that feel comfortable, safe and practical. If one of these techniques seems to worsen the flashback, or cause any other problems, stop immediately and move on to another one.
  • Sit up straight with your feet flat on the floor. Inhale through your nose, count to ten, and exhale slowly through your mouth. Repeat as many times as necesary.
  • Talk about what you are experiencing with someone who is really listening and is not afraid to ask questions.
  • Remind yourself that you are safe. Tell yourself that you are remembering what happened in the past and that you are in the present -- safe.
  • Write down what you saw, how it felt, and what you are currently feeling.
  • Tell yourself that you are not going crazy. Flashbacks are part of the healing process. They are not going to make you crazy, even though it feels that way.
  • Do something physical, such as walking or running in place, pounding your fists on a pillow, or shredding newspaper.
  • Call people on your emergency numbers list.
  • Ground yourself with an object of empowerment and safety such as a toy, favorite stone or shell, or anything special and close to hand.
  • Look at the daily newspaper or look one up online. Notice the date and read a current article.
  • Stomp your feet to remind yourself where you are. Press your feet firmly into the ground.
  • Try to notice where you are, the surroundings including the people and the sounds, like the T.V. or radio.
  • Cross your arms and legs. Feel the sensations of you controlling your body.
  • Call a friend and ask them to talk with you about something you've recently done together.
  • Take a warm relaxing bubble bath or a warm shower. Feel the water touching your body. Vary the temperature and pressure of the water and notice the differences.
  • Keep a rubber band on your wrist and pluck it. Feel the slight sting as it touches your skin.
  • Give yourself permission to think about it later and to be ok right now.
  • Realize that no matter how small you feel, you are an adult (the body is at least). If you have kids, think about them now.
  • Find your pulse on your wrist and count the beats per minute. Concentrate on feeling the blood pulse throughout your body.
  • Go outside and sit against a tree. Feel the bark pressing against your body. Smell the outside aromas like the grass and the leaves. Run your fingers through the grass. Feel the sun on your face and listen to sounds like birds singing.
  • If you are sitting, stand. If you are standing, sit. Pay attention to the movement change. Remind yourself- You are in control.
  • Rub your palms. Clap your hands. Listen to the sounds. Feel the sensations.
  • Speak out loud. Say your name or your child's name or your significant others name. Say the date, where you are or tell yourself out loud that you are safe.
  • Hold something that you find comforting, for some it may be a stuffed animal or a blanket. Notice how it feels in your hands. Is it hard or soft?
  • Eat something. How does it taste? Sweet or Sour? Is it warm or cold?
  • If you have a pet, use that moment to touch them. Feel their fur and speak the animal's name out loud.
  • Go to a mirror and make yourself smile. Watch your reflection as the statement changes. How does it make you feel?
  • Visualize a bright red stop sign to help you stop the flashback and/or memory. Step outside. If it's warm feel the sun shining down on your face. If it's cold, feel the breeze. How does it make your body feel?
  • During a non-crisis time make a list of things that are in your house and what room they are in. Give this list to friends that you can call during a flashback so they can help remind you what is around you.
  • During a non-crisis time make a list of positive affirmations. Print them out and keep them handy for when you are having a flashback. During a flashback read the list out loud.
  • Take walk outside and notice your neighborhood. Pay attention to houses and count them. Notice the differences between this neighborhood and the one you grew up in.
  • Listen to familiar music and sing along to it. Dance to it. If you are feeling angry, put on angry music and scream to it.
  • Go online and talk with an online friend. Write an email.
  • Imagine yourself in a safe place. Feel the safety and know it.
  • Watch a favorite TV program or video. Play a video or computer game.
  • Wash dishes or clean your house.
  • Meditate or pray if you are comfortable with it.
  • Exercise. Ride a bike, stationary or otherwise. Lift weights. Do jumping
the next website is http://www.mental-health-matters.com...le/104?start=1

Memory Games
One of the easiest ways to cope or manage a flashback is by distraction. Try to remember something challenging such as the lyrics to a particular song, or a favorite poem. This can help interrupt the flashback by redirecting the activity in your brain.
For some reason, memory games work well when I am having flashbacks that involved my hearing and balance.
Some of the more effective memory games I have used are:
  • Humming songs or remembering the lyrics to songs
  • Naming facts I learned in school
Ice Cube
This has been my most important tool in dealing with physically oriented flashbacks. The technique was actually taught to me by a Viet Nam Veteran who said he used it for every single flashback, adding "usually it helps, but sometimes it can't." I have found it to be effective to some degree almost every time I have tried it.
The idea is simple, take a fairly large ice cube and hold it tight in one of your hands throughout the flashback. The cold feeling keeps that part of you grounded to some degree and the physical sensation gives you something solid to focus on besides the memory you are reliving. It is important to hold the ice cube fairly tight and in the same hand for the duration of the flashback. I experimented with switching hands and holding it lightly and the technique lost much of its effectiveness.
I always use this technique in addition to some of the others when attempting to Escape or Control.
Wall Spotting
This technique involves selecting 4 or 5 brightly colored items in the room that are easily within vision and moving your focus between them. Make sure to vary the order and allow yourself to lock onto the items briefly before shifting to the next item. Keep this up throughout the flashback and continue for a short time afterwards.
Following the same pattern can actually cause you to become more involved in the flashback because your mind becomes used to the pattern and builds on it. By varying the pattern, you disrupt the thought processes involved in the flashback.
I suggest continuing the eye movements for a while after the flashback ends to allow yourself to get more focused on the present since I use this technique mostly for flashbacks with a visual element.
Cold Water on Your Face
This one is simple and can help with any type of flashback. This idea is one of the first ones any of us find that helps. Remember that it can continue to help. Try and use water cold enough to give yourself a good shock. There is a bit more evidence on why this works, it is called the "Mammalian Diving Reflex" or simply the "Diving Reflex" and relies on the fact that our bodies want to survive.
Sudden immersion in very cold water (below 70 degrees) triggers the Diving Reflex. The body reacts by lowering the heart rate, increasing blood pressure, and shutting down circulation to all but the body's core. The result is a lowered metabolism that conserves energy, which helps cold water survival. This is also why near-drowning victims in cold water have a much higher survival rate.
The effect on a flashback is fairly drastic. In short, the brain is shocked and interrupts the flashback to survive what may be a life-threatening immersion in freezing water. For this reason, make sure you use the coldest water available and use a good amount of it.

i hope this helps

theresa
   
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