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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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pixiesticks Offline
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I am so triggered right now... - April 3rd 2011, 09:43 PM

It's been such a terrible day.

Work was terrible, then my dads mad at me all cause I didn't want to go to the store with him, and I feel like I'll never get away from the hold cutting has on me

And it's just so frustrating, I'm so annoyed, and frustrated, and angry, and I just want to cut all my problems away, even though I know it'll sort of just create more, my brain is telling me that it'll make everything better. It's telling me that after I cut, I won't think about any of this, and I won't feel so frustrated and angry. It'll all release and I won't feel it any more. I just don't want to think. I don't want to.

I wanna forget about everything that's bothering me in life, and just let myself cut, but I'm don't want to live like this forever. I don't want to be cutting years from now, but I just never see an end. I never see myself stopping, and it makes me want to cut more. I just don't know how else to cope with all this. This has been my go to method for five years. I don't know how else to live.

My head is so scattered at the moment. I don't know what else to do but cut and let it all be okay again

Even the darkest night will end, and the sun will rise.
-Les Miserables
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Counted Heart. Offline
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Re: I am so triggered right now... - April 4th 2011, 01:27 AM

Hey there.

Sorry to hear you're having a tough time right now. I get how a bad day can lower your morale, and make you feel like you need to hurt yourself, but - and I say this even though I'm not a dedicated optimist - things can get better. Tomorrow's a new day, right?

Sounds like you have a few troubles in your relationship with your father. Have you tried talking to him about it? He may not know how you're feeling, or what you expect from him, so if you
were open about that it might improve your relationship.

There are other ways to release negative emotions. You don't have to hurt yourself. In our list of distractions, there's a whole section on 'Alternatives for when you're feeling angry or restless'. Some of those might help. Personally, I happen to think that writing is a great way to deal with emotions. You can get rid of all the negative feelings, without hurting anyone, and it may help get your thoughts in order.

Is there anyone close to you that you can talk to about this? A friend or family member, maybe? Talking things through can be beneficial in the same way as writing, except in this case you'll get input and support as well.

I understand how you're feeling right now. The logical side of you, the one that knows cutting won't fix anything, is battling with the impulsive side, which is trying to convince you that if you hurt yourself, things will be better. I don't suppose I need to tell you which one I'd recommed you listen to? It could help to write a list of why you shouldn't hurt yourself, and read that to remind yourself whenver you're triggered.

The truth is, there's never going to be the perfect time to stop self harming. You'll always be able to think of reasons to put it off, to give up, to go back to old habits. If you're going to beat this - and I believe you can - it may as well be now. It's hard to let go of a coping mechanism you've been relying on, even one as damaging as self harm, but if you can find other ways to cope - such as the ones in the link I mentioned above - it's possible.

If you feel like getting away from everything, do. But not by self harming. Literally remove yourself from your situation. Take a holiday or vacation. If that's not possible, go for a daytrip somewhere, or even just a walk or run. The physical acitivity will not only be good for your body, but your mind as well.

I wish you all the best.

let no science fix our path
if only numbers make its math.
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