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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Bubbly751 Offline
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How did you ask for help? - April 8th 2011, 06:57 AM

How did/ who did you ask for help?

I told my school counselor but he didn't think its a big deal. At this point in time I want to stop, but I'm terrified of my family knowing, so I don't know what to do. I don't know how to reach out to someone who will listen and not hate me because of it.
Any advice on who I should talk to?


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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: How did you ask for help? - April 8th 2011, 07:43 AM

Hey Sarah.

Personally, how it happened was that my mother actually brought it up by mentioning one of my friends (who self harms), and she asked if I did it too, and I decided to be honest about it. But not everybody can have such a convenient way to do it.

I think it's great you've not only accepted that you need help, but have had the courage to start reaching out for it.

I'm sorry to hear that the counsellor wasn't prepared to give you the kind of help you needed. The fact is, some counsellors are better than others, and some are just more compatible with you, or with certain issues, so it could help to try and find another one. Is there any chance you could do that without your parents knowing?

On that topic, why don't you want your family to know? I know it can be scary to be so open about it, but it can also be a lot of help.

If you feel you can't talk to them, what about anyone in your extended family? Sometimes it's easier to reach out to people you don't have to see every day.

Your friends can also be a good source of support, if you let them. They care about you, and they'll want to help.

There's also a list of hotlines you can call, where you'll talk to a trained professional who will be able to help you.

There's also the Live Help feature here on TeenHelp, which is real-time and where you talk to a real person, which may be able to help.

All the best.


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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: How did you ask for help? - April 8th 2011, 02:20 PM

i agree with Sarah you are brave to tell your school counselor i didn't have the guts till i was a year in and i regret not telling anyone sooner and i didn't tell my mum my m8t told her and i said i stopped and i did but i started a week later and you strong to tell someone eventually i went to my school counselor and i have got help if you want me to i can send you a link or my list my school gave me on how to resist the urges but anyway stay strong and you can be one of many that don't give in and beats this horrible addiction
   
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Re: How did you ask for help? - April 8th 2011, 04:36 PM

Hey there.

I am really happy to see you post this and quitting self harm is a big step and the fact you want help is really great and something to be proud of!

I spoke to my school nurse who spoke to the pastrol support office in my school. I only spoke to the nurse a few times since but I started talking with that teacher in year 10 and I am no in year 12 and I still talk to her. In fact I've seen her five times in the past week and I can honestly say she's helped me through a lot. Is there a pastrol support officer at your school who you could talk to or perhaps another trusted teacher?

If not you could always try talking to your family even though I understand thats going to be a hard conversation to have, but you can do it! You could always pop in and see your doctor as well who will be able to support you and put in any further help such as therapy if you feel you need/want it. If you struggle to be honest with people and admit your emotions, thoughts and about self harm then you can try writing it down so you don't physical have to see. Also think about contacting a helpline (The link previously sent to you) for extra support and of course us here. We do this because we want to help people like you. We care about you and want you to get better.

I know things are hard right now but they can and they will get better. People want to and can help you but for them to do so you have to let them in and be honest so they can help you in a way which you will benefit from. Theres nothing to be ashamed of and an professional won't judge you. They're there to help.

Stay strong.
Jessie.


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Re: How did you ask for help? - April 8th 2011, 04:52 PM

Hey,

First of all it is great that you are taking the first steps towards stopping SH! You should be proud of yourself for that.
Personally, my parents found out through my friends talking about it; but they have been supportive, so it wasn't really a bad thing and it is helping me towards recovering.
Maybe you could tell a family member or an adult you trust, such as a teacher? I doubt very much that they would hate you for it, they would probably respect you for getting help.
Maybe you should talk to your school counsellor again and stress the importance of this situation. He should be taking it seriously and supporting you whether he thinks it is a big deal or not.
You can do this, stay strong! Feel free to PM me i you want/ need to talk.

Take care and stay strong
Charli


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Re: How did you ask for help? - April 8th 2011, 06:06 PM

Hey Sarah,

I actually didn't ask for help, personally. My boyfriend happened to know about my self-harm, because well, it was kind of inevitable that he would find out. So, we had talked about it, and kind of made a plan. Basically, I was going to work on quitting self-harming, but he'd also be my support system.

We spend a lot of time together as is, but even when we're not together for whatever reason, I'll text him when I'm feeling down. I've also become better at distracting myself. I had been successfully Self-Harm Free for 3 1/2 months, but then I had a really bad day, but I haven't slipped up since that day, almost a couple weeks ago.

So basically, I got help by having a support system I could rely on. This support system doesn't HAVE to be a boyfriend/girlfriend, but could be a close friend from school, an online friend, family, a teacher, etc.


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  (#7 (permalink)) Old
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Re: How did you ask for help? - April 8th 2011, 11:32 PM

So today a girl I know walks up to me in pe and said she saw my arms and she wanted to know if I was okay. I was a little shocked but I was like no I'm fine. Then the rest of pe was weird. I should of said no but I just couldn't now I'm mad at myself


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Last edited by Bubbly751; April 9th 2011 at 12:53 AM. Reason: Stupid spell check on iPods
   
  (#8 (permalink)) Old
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Re: How did you ask for help? - April 8th 2011, 11:35 PM

Sarah, now that you know she cares, maybe talk to her and say you're NOT OK..? I don't know, if someone is showing concern, reach out.


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Re: How did you ask for help? - April 8th 2011, 11:53 PM

I just went out and told one of my friends. My mum still dont know and although ive had plenty of times to tell i dont... i find having not mny knowin best so its not awkward but it might not be 4 u! its scary to tel so well done because that is a massive step. I am trying to stop on my own... only people on here know in case I let people down... well one persona... good luck because quitting at times can give u great confidence and freedom... other times it sucks... but keep going because when you give in... its RUBBISH!


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Re: How did you ask for help? - April 9th 2011, 08:22 AM

Hi, i didn't really ask for help. I started traunting pe because when i did go the people that was bullying me stared at my cuts. Somehow a teacher knew about my sh and he asked me if there was anything i thought he could do to help me. He ended up referring me to school counsellor


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