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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Mandiie.Love Offline
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Unhappy Help. - April 10th 2011, 06:53 PM

For the past few months, I have prevented myself from cutting, but my urges to cut have been stronger than ever. I always have a razor blade close to me, but that's just a "just-in-case" thing. I can't find another coaping skill for the life of me. Can someone help me? :|

PM or VM me at anytime. I check it every day. <3

~Welcome to Mandiie land. Where everything is a tad bit crazy, but she loves to help you. <3 Trust me, no matter what, judging is a word that isn't in my vocabulary. <3

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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Help. - April 10th 2011, 07:02 PM

Have you taken a look at the Self-Harm Alternatives? Maybe having other ways to cope, or to keep your mind off the blade, could prove beneficial.

Dare to be Different, to be Weird, to be a Freak.
Overall, Dare to be yourself.

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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Anatidaephobia Offline
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Re: Help. - April 10th 2011, 07:04 PM

Aww sweetie sorry to hear that you are strugglnf but you are strong and you don't need to cut
Try looking at the alternatives, at least one will work. I find ice workswell so maybe try that. You can do this sweetie
Stay strong <3

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  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Help. - April 10th 2011, 07:53 PM

hey mandie
i'm really sorry to hear this. i know exactly what you mean. i tried to stop and managed to get to just over a month and then i caved in and started again. since then 2 of my friends told the school about it and now i'm seeing the councilor in school and i haven't cut in a week. i still carry my blade with me though for just in case.

please try the alternatives. they really do work and i know you can find one that works for you. not all of them will work, but some of them will so please don't give up.

is there anyone you can talk to about your cutting and about your urges? if not, everyone here at TH will always be here to listen to what you have to say, and we will never get sick of hearing about your problems

lots of love,

and in that moment, I swear we were infinite
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Help. - April 11th 2011, 09:48 AM

Hey there.

Well done on not cutting in a while. That's an achievement to be proud of. Do you mind me asking why you haven't cut? I'm sure you've had urges, but why have you resisted them? Will whatever technique you use be enough to keep you going?

I understand having a blade close to you as a safety net. There was a time when I wouldn't even leave the house without one. But having it with you might also be a way of reminding yourself of self harm, whether you want to be or not, and something that increases your urges. Why don't you try going a little while without a blade? Just to show yourself you can do it. Then increase the time, and the distance, and soon you may not even need to have that safety net.

It's great you've realised that self harm is simply a coping mechanism. And you know it's not a good one, so the trick is to replace it with a more healthy one. The alternatives are a great way to start. Some of my favourites are writing and running, but you need to find what works for you.

Talking is also a great - and safe - release of emotion. It can help you work through how you're feeling, and get to the root of the problem. The person you talk to may even be able to offer suggestions as to how to deal with the problem.

I wish you all the best.

Take care.

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  (#6 (permalink)) Old
Palmolive Offline
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Re: Help. - April 11th 2011, 08:13 PM

Hey there.

I am really sorry that you are struggling with urges to self harm. I want to start by telling you that you ARE worth more than self harm and you CAN beat it.

Have you tried using any distractions. Not every single distraction on that list will help you so it is all about trying things and finding what works for you. And when you do come across things which don't work, don't give up, keep on trying new things because they're will be ones which do help you. You could also keep a list of a few which do seem to help you and keep it with you so when you do get urges you can quickly grab it and start distracting yourself with out thinking about how to distract yourself.

Do you have anyone to talk to? I know talking to people can be really hard but it can also really help us. You can try talking to a family member, a friend, a teacher, a school nurse/counselor or even a doctor. These are all people who can help you. You could also try contacting a helpline. These are people who re there to help you. They want to be there for you which is why they do this job. They understand it's hard for you to open up and won't push you in to talking about anything if you don't want too.

I know things are hard for you right now but you are honestly worth so much and you can beat this and live a life with out self harm. Don't ever be alone. People care about you and want to help you. Let them in.

Look after yourself.

"Only in the dark, can you see the stars..."
Josie 12/3/2014, always in my heart. Sue 19/2/2016; Peter, Ellie, Hannah, Andy, Kirtsie RIP.

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  (#7 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Help. - April 11th 2011, 08:26 PM

Heyy there.

I'm sorry times are so hard for you right now, and just to let you know, you've got a whole society of amazing people on your side right here, and we're happy to offer you any support we possibly can to help you get through this.

As people have said, looking at the distractions is a good idea. They probably wont all work for you, but you are highly likely to find at least one method, maybe even more, that do help you in some way.

If you have a counsellor or something, I'd recommend you speak to them. They can offer you a lot of help and support with issues such as these, and while it may seem scary to put your trust and faith in someone like that, they will be able to help you.

I'd suggest also, that you don't keep a razor near you. Having it near you says to yourself that it's a possibility, and the more open you are to SH, the harder it will be to stop. For example, is an ex smoker is around a bunch of people who are smoking, and have cigorettes out, they're more likely to say to themselves 'just one, it wont hurt', and then regret it later. So get rid of the razors so that you're less tempted to cut, and stay away from objects which may make you want to as best you can.

Remember, SH doesn't work. It may feel like relief for a short while after doing it, but for how long exactly? Think of it this way, if you go a day without cutting, after you've been cutting for weeks everyday, how good will it feel to know you've stopped yourself, even just for a day? And then what about two days? Or three? Or a week? The longer you go, the better you'll feel about not having done it. It may be hard to resist the urges, but as time goes on, I assure you it will get easier. In the end, you'll look back and be proud because you've overcome something which previously had overcome you. You're strong, and you're beautiful. Don't ever feel like hurting yourself is the only way to do things, because I promise you, it isn't.

Feel free to PM me at any time if you want a shoulder to lean on. You're more than welcome to ask me some questions, and I'll always do my vest best to help you out. Take care, and keep safe. I hope I helped you a bit.

A paradox:
The things you donít need to liveó
books, art, cinema, wine, and so onó
are the things you need to live

- Matt Haig

  (#8 (permalink)) Old
Mandiie.Love Offline
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Re: Help. - April 20th 2011, 12:39 AM

Well, my mother found out that I had another razor blade, so she made me give her the blade, which I think is best. And now that she has the last one, the temptations have went down a bit, so thanks

PM or VM me at anytime. I check it every day. <3

~Welcome to Mandiie land. Where everything is a tad bit crazy, but she loves to help you. <3 Trust me, no matter what, judging is a word that isn't in my vocabulary. <3

Kiss me, lovely

Then walk away
Hug me tightly, beautiful
Then leave me.
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