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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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What should I do? - April 14th 2011, 11:36 AM

So I've been really sad because I have been cutting for several months now and my cousin started cutting a few days ago and my whole family is blaming me for it. Just tonight I have already cut 23 times... I don't know what to do about it.
   
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Re: What should I do? - April 14th 2011, 04:23 PM

Maybe talk to your cousin, find out why he/she is cutting, and then you can both talk to your family, hopefully.

The best thing I can tell you is, reach out to your cousin and try to tell them that cutting is addictive, the scars suck, etc., tell them you're there if they ever need to talk, and hope for the best. Oh, and also get your cousin to clarify that it is NOT your fault, because I don't see why it would be.


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Re: What should I do? - April 14th 2011, 04:44 PM

Hey.

I'm sorry you're going through this right now, it must be tough for you. Know that I'm always happy to talk if you want to PM me or anything.

I believe you should talk to your cousin. You know yourself, I expect, how useless cutting is. It doesn't help in the long run, and it doesn't look nice on your skin. I think you should consider looking at the self harm alternatives by looking here: http://www.teenhelp.org/alternatives. Not all of them will work for you, but you should be able to find at least one that helps. Also, consider showing it to your cousin. If you can help your cousin get through it, it may motivate you to get through it yourself. Doing things with someone is easier than doing it on your own, so make sure you support your cousin, and stick by eachother to overcome the urges.

Try and talk to your family about how it's making you feel every time they blame you for it. I know being blamed for something you didn't do is highly frustrating, and it's bound to be even harder while you're going through feeling the way you do. If you talk to them, they might understand. I can understand why they may think you have had influence on your cousin, but reassure them that you didn't do anything to make your cousin SH, and therefore it is not your fault. I'm sure that with a bit of discussion, they can realise that it's not your fault, and instead of blaming you, help you and your cousin through this.

Try not to cut. 23 times is an awful lot for one night, and you're not doing yourself any favours. I know it's hard, trust me I do, but it's not the way to do things. Cutting may form some sort of release for a while, but afterwards I'm gonna guess it doesn't feel too great, right? Use the alternatives, or do something you love, just to take your mind off of what you want to do. Keep yourself in good ways, you shouldn't have to feel like cutting helps anything. Remember, you're an amazing person no matter what happens, and if you ever feel down, you've got this place to come and rant.

If you'd ever like to talk to me about this or anything else that may be bothering you, go ahead and shoot me a PM. I'll always be happy to listen and offer you as much advice and help as I possibly can, or otherwise refer you to someone who can. Hang in there, you can do this. Keep your chin up and stay strong. <3


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Re: What should I do? - April 15th 2011, 12:52 AM

Okay, so I talked to my cousin today about it and he said its not my fault. We tried to tell everyone but they said we just didn't want them to know the truth.

After we tried to convince them and failing, i just locked myself in the bathroom and started cutting. Everyone in the house knew i was too.

I came out eventually and everyone just stared at me. My mom grabbed me and drove me home and the whole way home she was telling me that i'm a horrible person. She's just making it worse.
   
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Re: What should I do? - April 15th 2011, 09:36 AM

Can someone help me with this?
   
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