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How should I tell my friend? - April 16th 2011, 10:10 PM

I have made up my mind that i need help. My friend is coming over to my house tomorrow and I want to tell him that I have been cutting. What should I say?
   
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Re: How should I tell my friend? - April 16th 2011, 10:44 PM

personally i couldnt tell my best friend to his face. i had to tell him with a text. that may not be the best idea but it worked well for me. so if you think it might be too difficult to say in person then that might be a good idea for you.


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Re: How should I tell my friend? - April 16th 2011, 11:04 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by lola jonson View Post
personally i couldnt tell my best friend to his face. i had to tell him with a text. that may not be the best idea but it worked well for me. so if you think it might be too difficult to say in person then that might be a good idea for you.
Yeah, it will be hard too but I have already decided I will. I just don't know what to say.


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Re: How should I tell my friend? - April 16th 2011, 11:18 PM

Hey there,

I think it's very brave of you to want to tell someone that you've been cutting. I know that takes a lot of courage, so good for you!

How much does your friend know already? For example, does he know that you've been upset or depressed in the past? I think the best way to tell him would to just be direct. If he knows a bit, you could say something like, "Hey, you know how I've been kind of sad lately? Well, I've been cutting to help myself deal with that, and I really think I need help." Or if he doesn't: "I've been wanting to talk to you about something. Lately, I've been feeling pretty sad and I've been cutting to deal with it. I would really like to get help with this."

Since you are 13, I am going to assume that your friend is somewhere around that age as well. (Although feel free to correct me if I'm wrong.) Remember that your friend is very young and may not be entirely sure how to help you on his own. I think it would be a good idea to get an adult involved as well. Once you speak to your friend, ask him if he will accompany you to talk to one. I'm sure he will be happy to. Your friends really care about you, and they just want to see you happy.

Best of luck! Take care!
   
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Re: How should I tell my friend? - April 17th 2011, 12:44 AM

I know from experience that it's really difficult to get the words to come out of your mouth. I suggest something that alludes to it, without you actually saying "Hey, I cut." Because that is super hard. Something like "Hey, do you know what self harm is?" and if he says no, explain that its when someone causes harm to themselves enough to break skin/leave marks. This way you can simply say "I do that." Or if you aren't brave enough, maybe just look at him till he gets it?
Another way, that may sound even scarier (at least to me) but could work if you'd rather do it. Is say "I want to show you something. I'm trusting you because I need help and I feel that you can help me." Then show him some of your scars. It sounds scary, but maybe not actually saying anything could help you.
It's hard, I know. But you if you really want to tell him, you will. Good luck honey. <3



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Re: How should I tell my friend? - April 18th 2011, 06:01 AM

Okay, so my friend came over and I wanted to tell him but I couldn't. It was too hard. But i really want to tell him so he can help me. What should I do?


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Re: How should I tell my friend? - April 18th 2011, 09:19 AM

Hey there.

Hesitation is natural. I know that I've never really told anyone, face-to-face, that I self harmed, unless they asked me directly. This is probably something you're not comfortable talking about, and that's okay.

Have you thought about writing him a letter instead? That way you can just write it, give it to him, and not have to worry about messing up your words or backing out. Letters are a good way to do things like this, but you could also try emails, or text messages, or anything that works for you.

Or, you could just try and bite the bullet and tell him. Set a date, or a time, and say to yourself, 'This is when I'll do it, no matter what', and follow through with that. Don't spend too much time worrying about it beforehand, or you'll cause yourself unnecessary stress. Just say what you're thinking, and deal with it then.

All the best.


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Re: How should I tell my friend? - April 19th 2011, 12:42 AM

Thank you everyone. I think I'm going to write a letter to him because now i know i can't tell him face to face.


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Re: How should I tell my friend? - April 19th 2011, 04:44 AM

You're really brave for wanting to do this. I would just tell your friend that you self harm and need help stopping, and would like his support. And if he asks for details give them to him.


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