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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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Evanesco Offline
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I want to cut - April 18th 2011, 01:03 PM

I don't know what to do. Most of the time I just want to fucking scream. I want to stand in the middle of nowhere and scream as loud as I can.

I used to cut and then I stopped because I made a promise to some people that I wouldn't, and I try so hard not to break my promises.

But I've done it again a few times but not regularly.

I want to do it again, properly. I want to be able to cut and hurt myself without someone yelling at me or crying or getting disappointed. I don't want people to know.

I only told so I could get help, but instead of help I just got banned from doing it.

I feel trapped inside my head and I can't get out.


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Re: I want to cut - April 19th 2011, 06:43 AM

Hey Hester.

Sorry to hear things aren't going so well for you right now. Have you tried looking at our list of alternatives? One of them actually is 'Scream very loudly', which, if you can find the right place and time to do it, can be a great release of emotion.

As good as it is to stop self harming for someone else's sake, it's better if you stop for you. You should stop because you want to, because you feel like you should, because you're ready, not because people made you promise you should. It sounds like they really care about you, though, so you can still have them there as a support system; it's just that, in my experience, quitting self harm simply because someone else wants you to is rarely successful.

If you're feeling like there's too many thoughts in your head, or that you don't know what to think, or anything like that, there are some ways you can get those thoughts out. First, talk to someone. A friend, family member, counsellor - somone who can help you figure things out. Or, you can write about it. A journal, blog, even stories or poems, if you're so inclined, can help you think more clearly.

It's great that you told someone about your self harm, and that you wanted to get help. Sometimes people's reactions aren't what we expect, or what we need, but that doesn't mean they don't care, or don't want to help. If people are trying to help, but it's not working, let them know what they can do instead; for example, if they keep asking if you're okay, but you'd prefer if they were just there for you to come to if you needed, tell them that. If they know how best to help you, they will.

I'm going to ask you a question now, which you're free to reply to or ignore: why do you feel the need to self harm? There's probably some emotion, thought, or event that's causing this desire, and it's much better to deal with that than try and distract yourself with self harm.

I know reaching out for help is hard, but if one person isn't able or willing to help, try someone else. Don't let one bad reaction get you down. It might take a while, but eventually you'll find someone you can talk to, who'll help you through this, and then you'll be glad you waited.

Take care, and good luck.


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Evanesco Offline
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Re: I want to cut - April 19th 2011, 07:34 AM

I've looked at your list of alternatives and I've started to try them out.
I haven't got anywhere I can scream without getting in trouble.
I'm going to find it very hard to tell anyone about it now because I've been silent for almost three years trying to keep my promise but not doing very well.
I've had problems with sexuality and religion, and bullying, which kick started it all, but now I just feel really down all of the time.


Join the Skeleton Clique on TH
Do you wanna come with me? 'Cause if you do, then I should warn you - you're gonna see all sorts of things. Ghosts from the past. Aliens from the future. The day the Earth died in a ball of flame. It won't be quiet, it won't be safe, and it won't be calm. But I'll tell you what it will be: The trip of a lifetime!

Don't trust a perfect person and don't trust a song that's flawless.
RIP Granddad Terry. I'll miss you.
   
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