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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Saria Offline
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Its gotten worse... - April 19th 2011, 08:57 PM

So for about 2 years now I've been self harming but I never thought it was as much of an issue for me as it was for other people. I didn't do it all the time and I felt that I could stop if I wanted to and there times when there were months between when I harmed. I had never actually cut myself so that my skin was cut and I never had any open wounds. I use to just scratch myself repetedly over the same spot,usually my upper arms of thighs, and it would form a welt and leave marks that could last up to a few days and then they faded so I never thought it was much of a problem.

But now I'm not too sure. A few months I ago I started harming again. But this time it was on my wrist. Although I was only doing the same as before I was doing this on a daily basis over the same spots and the welts were getting worse and worse. Then it got to the point where I had broken the skin. Now a month on there is still a scar and everytime I see it, it just makes me feel so helpless; like a really have stuffed up this time. It triggers me so badly and now I just want to sut all the time, but more then scratching myself with me fingernails.

I don't know what to do...


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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Its gotten worse... - April 20th 2011, 02:41 AM

I started with just sxratching too and it only gets worse th more you do it. Just try to stop while you still can so that it desnt get any worse for you.


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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Its gotten worse... - April 20th 2011, 10:19 AM

Hi Saria.

I've been where you were. I can remember being at a point where I thought it wasn't a problem for me. I wasn't doing it every day, I never needed medical treatment for it, and it wasn't getting in the way of anything. So no problem, right? Wrong.

I'm sorry to hear that things are getting worse. Self harm, no matter how you do it, how often you do it, or how 'badly' you do it, is a problem, simple as that. It can escalate very quickly, as you seem to be experiencing. The good news is that you can stop this. You can get past self harm, and be free from it.

You haven't stuffed up. You're struggling, and you've found a coping mechanism - albeit an unhealth one. That doesn't make you helpless, or anything like that. If the scar triggers you, could you try covering it for a while? When I was self harming, I sometimes had to use bandanas or bracelets to cover areas that I wanted to cut, or extra layers to cover old scars, in order not to trigger myself. Something like that might help you.

You could also try working out the reasons behind your self harm. This is where a support system - such as friends, parents, or even a therapist - can be helpful. Talk things through with someone, or write it in a diary; if you can deal with the issues behind self harming, then you'll have no need for it.

You could also try looking at our alternatives. Take a look through them, and see if there's any you like; not every one will work for you, but there are bound to be some that do, so it's worth a shot.

Good luck.


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Re: Its gotten worse... - April 20th 2011, 12:13 PM

Hey Saria,

I was in the same position as you before, only minor scratches, no medical treatment needed. But it progressed, the urges become worse and the SHing becomes worse and before you know it stitches are involved.
I strongly encourage you to get help for this now, talk to an adult you trust, such as a family member or a teacher; someone you can support you and get you the help that you need.

You said you don't do it often so it isn't that bad, but you said yourself it is becoming more regular and worse. All SH is bad no matter how often, and it is very addictive.
You have not 'stuffed up'. we all slip up and make mistakes when trying to stop, just keep going, learn from this and hang in there. You are strong, believe in yourself.

Feel free to PM me if you ever want/need to talk,
Take care,
Charli


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  (#5 (permalink)) Old
Saria Offline
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Re: Its gotten worse... - April 20th 2011, 08:35 PM

Thanks, and I think deep down I know that I do need help. Its just I have major issues with trust and talking to people about things and asking for help. I can NEVER bring myself to do it. As for covering them up, it works and it doesn't....

As for covering them up it works and at doesn't.. At school I wear my school jumper, which is woolen, to hide the scars from my friends but mainly any teachers and then by the time I ride my bike home it gets so hot and seeing as I am at home I can take my jumper off but then I have to be descrete about not letting my family see them. This isn't that hard because of their position and I sort of hold them about my body but I'm not around my parents often anyway. I'm generally is my room and this is normally because my parents have made me feel depressed or fustrated or something and them the urge to cut is just so great and there's no one around to stop me.


"Feeling Change - Memories Don't"
"Enjoy the Moment and don't let it end"
"When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile."
"He comforts us when we are in trouble, so that we can share that same comfort with others in trouble." 2 Corinthians 1:4
PM me anytime
Tumblr
http://1000reasonstosmile.tumblr.com/

Last edited by Saria; April 20th 2011 at 08:44 PM.
   
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