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katie4evrr1 Offline
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Exclamation Burning need... in class? - May 7th 2011, 02:52 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I almost did it, i could feel the burning need to cut and bleed right there.
I almost burst into tears with the pain I was suffering through. I didn't know how to control it. I was never really bad at cutting and i stopped after my first time. But idk the need just came.
I have always had horrible mood swings and I had suddenly gone in to a very sad, upset mood. All I could think about is how ugly I am, how nothing would change it, how no guy would notice, how much i just wanted to slice my wrist right there...
Im nearly in tears now cause i can't believe the thoughts I had. I just can't handle how my mind is always turning. Ill be in a moment of pure ecstasy and then ill drop like a rock. Im getting tested for BiPolar but im afraid I wont get on medication soon enough and something .... bad.... will happen.
I just want to know how others get through it, how am i supposed to control my sudden urge/trigger ? I need help..

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Counted Heart. Offline
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Re: Burning need... in class? - May 7th 2011, 05:06 AM

Hey Katie.

I'm sorry to hear you're feeling like this. Nobody deserves to feel this bad. Fortunately, there are some things you can do.

First, understand your triggers. What made you feel like you needed to hurt yourself? How can you avoid or deal with it? Here's a list of alternatives you might like to try. Some may or may not work, depending on the situation - for example, you can't exactly jump up and down, scream very loudly, or wax your legs during class, but you can scribble on a piece of paper, draw on yourself, or notice black and white thinking.

It sounds like you may have low self-esteem, which is a problem many people face. There are some things you can do to try and make yourself feel better. You can write a list of things you like about yourself, or get someone else to write what they like about you; you can listen to inspiring music; you can stick motivational quotes or posters around your room. Know that you are talented, beautiful, and worth so much more than this.

I know that sometimes it can feel like crying is a weak or silly thing to do, but it can really help, so, if you're in a place where you'd be comfortable letting the tears flow, why not? You may well feel better afterwards.

I hope you feel better soon.

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