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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
meggybabyyxox Offline
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trying to be self-harm free - March 8th 2009, 03:58 AM

i have been cutting for 4 years and i go to therapy and everything but i never really wanted to stop on my own. recently my therapist suggested i give what i use to cut to someone i trust and is very special to me. so i gave everything i used to harm myself to my boyfriend so he can get rid of them. i new i would never beable to get rid of them in my own. it has been about a week since i have last cut which is pretty good for me seeing that i used to do it everyday. i really hope i can stop cutting all together for myself and my boyfriend. any advice on other ways to cope?

hasn't cut in 35 days

*1 slip up*
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Re: trying to be self-harm free - March 8th 2009, 05:14 AM

Hey Meg.
Congrats on deciding to try and stop self harming.
It's a big step giving your tools to your boyfriend, that really makes you a strong person. I won't say that it won't be tough, but I will say that you can get past your habit of SH, if you just set your mind to it, you're strong enough to pull through.

There's always this awesome thread, in case you get any urges in the meantime: Alternatives to Self Harm I know it's helped me out more than once. Maybe it will help to check it out every time you feel like you have the need to self harm.

Hang in there and good luck with everything. xx

A lonely soul in a land of broken hearts

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Re: trying to be self-harm free - March 8th 2009, 05:45 AM

Hey Meg, um there's alot you can do to cope..

Here's some: Drinking water(it works oddly enough) tearing up paper, using a rubber band to flick your wrist(ONLY ONCE THO) Drawing a red line like cut on your arm, writing, walking, reading, talk, watching tv in a comfy blanket curled up is the best... Writing in a journal REALLY helps.

2nd cor. 5:13

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Re: trying to be self-harm free - March 8th 2009, 12:49 PM

Hey Meg, first off, well done for giving away everything you use to cut with,and for not self harming for a week, that's such a big achievement!

Like Amanda said look at the alternatives thread,
anddd something i do is take just a page of them that you think might work for you and print it off twice, keep one in your room to look it at in case you get an urge and keep one in your purse or bag incase you get an urge when you're out,
And take careX


"The stars are always there but we miss them in the dirt and clouds. We miss them in the storms. Tell them to remember hope. We have hope."

"But in the ruins there is still a canvas. There is still beauty in your brokenness. The faded scars show healing reminding me that even though Iíve been in dark places, Iíve survived and learned and become stronger".

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Re: trying to be self-harm free - March 8th 2009, 05:55 PM

Hi. I think it's great that you're putting forth the effort to stop cutting. Umm you could try a stress ball. Those work sometimes. Or sometimes it helps to write down your feelings in a journal or poetry.
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Re: trying to be self-harm free - March 8th 2009, 06:15 PM

hiya meg.
Congrats. The only advice I can give you is talk to people, involve anyone your confortable with in your, umm, recovery? (not sure what to call it) Also writing has really helped me. Just scribble down anything your thinking, good or bad.
Good luck.
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Re: trying to be self-harm free - March 9th 2009, 12:42 PM

Its great that you gave them to someone else but always remember you have to stop for you and bebecasue you want to
There are many ways to help apress the urge to sh,try looking in the sticky threads
for further ways you could try sport,music arts,writing.

Sometimes talk to some one who is a stranger but who has no real hold on what do can be really usefull.

Hope all continues to go well
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Re: trying to be self-harm free - March 9th 2009, 03:58 PM

Heya Meg.

Well done for making the decision to quit self harm, thats a really brave thing to do! Thats great that you gave your tools to your boyfriend, thats one step towards recovery! A week is such a long time to not cut, especially if you've been doing it regularly for 4 years.
Also well done for not doing it alone, you'll need all the support you need right now!

For me, when I want to cut myself, I think "I can fight this urge for 5 minutes", and when that 5 minutes is up, try another 5, and so on. It really works, but it's really hard. Try lots of different distractions, talk to people when you feel like doing it, just do anything BUT hurt yourself.

PM me if you need support.
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Re: trying to be self-harm free - March 9th 2009, 05:44 PM

Hey Meg,
Trying to give up self harm after doing it for 4 years is such a difficult thing to do, but I just wanted to say how great you are doing to be trying to stop. When you have done something for so long it can be hard to just stop. If you do have slip ups along the way just remember they are all part of recovery, and what really matters is how you pick yourself up afterwards. Your therapist should be able to help you with alternative coping strategies. I don't know whether you have covered any with your therapist, but if you haven't maybe you could ask them. Take each day at a time and don't give up :-)
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Re: trying to be self-harm free - March 9th 2009, 06:38 PM

well done on not cutting for that long
that actualy is an achevement!
some distractions i got from my counsellor include:
Have a bath or shower
Petend its okay
Keep a journal or diary
Postpone the action for 5 , 10 or 15 minutes
Watch TV
Squeeze a tennis ball
Play sports
Listen to music
Pry or meditate
Write poetry , stories or just words
Call friends
cook something
Walk the dog
Write letters about what you would like to say to people even if you send them or not
Draw or paint
Go for a swim
Think about a special place
Tidy up
Use a punch bag
Play an instrument
Talk to a family member
Spend time with a pet
Take a short nap
Think about special people
Eat your favourite food
Throw darts at a dartboard or soft toys at a wall
Shout , yell or swear out loud
Change your appearance e.g Dye your hair
Reality checklist: Who am i , where am i , what am i doing
Draw on your body where you would like to cut.

If you need someone to talk to , my PM box is allways open =]

You don't know about my past, and
I don't have a future figured out.
And maybe this is going too fast.
And maybe it's not meant to last,


imi , sophie , me
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