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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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thought i was done... - May 10th 2011, 05:42 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

bout a yr and a half ago i started cutting...i kept it up for 6 months, then my friend helped me stop. I havent cut in a year now. A whole year!! After the first month most of my urges to cut disappeared. I found ways to cope without hurting myself, and i havent really missed cutting since then. Suddenly like a week ago, I got this insane urge to cut. I dont feel more depressed than normal, but i just wanna cut soooo much. Usually any urge i hav goes away in a day. but i cant shake this one I just wanna take a blade to my skin and watch the blood flow again. I really miss it, im questioning why i ever stopped. Is it crazy for this sudden urge to appear out of no where after a year of being si free? I feel like a failure and a freak. I dont see any reason to not do it...

"One day at a time, this is enough. Do not look back and grieve over the past for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful it will be worth remembering." -Ida Scott Taylor
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Re: thought i was done... - May 10th 2011, 02:24 PM

I know how you feel. I hadn't cut for, well, almost a year. But that 'urge' never really left me. Today, I had to go to school with a fresh cut, trying desperately to hide it... It's really NOT worth it. Try thinking back to what you did the first time to stop and why.
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Re: thought i was done... - May 11th 2011, 02:36 AM

It's certainly not abnormal to feel urges long after you thought the problem was gone. Self-harm is, unfortunately, one of those things that tends to stay with you. Once you use it to cope, your mind automatically goes back to it, sometimes even subconsciously. Please try your best to resist the urges I know its hard, but youll be happier with yourself if you wait it out. Stay safe.

I have the choice of being constantly active and
happy or introspectively passive and sad.
Or I can go mad by ricocheting in between.
-Sylvia Plath
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Re: thought i was done... - May 11th 2011, 11:41 PM

Stay strong. Honestly, it can come back at any moment. After 4 years of struggling, I stopped for about 2 years. And within the past year it's come back for me. The only thing that stops me from doing anything more than slightly slipping up is remembering how good I felt without it. I felt so free and alive without having to fall back on SH, and now I just feel so tied down and anxious again. Remember how good it felt without the urges, and try to keep that as your goal as you stay SH free.

"Although only breath, words which I command are immortal." Sappho

"Sometimes I feel nothing at all. Sometimes I feel everything is my fault.
Sometimes I feel the hate break my mind. Sometimes I feel they deserve it this time.
May the bridges I burn light my way." - I, Alone - Otep

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Re: thought i was done... - May 12th 2011, 01:52 AM

you commented on my thread and I noticed you have one of your own here. I'm sorry you're struggling at the moment You can do this though, we both can. I don't know why your urges have come back even stronger but you're not a freak and you're most certainly not a failure! By posting here it's obvious that some part of you doesn't want to go back to it so that in itself means your not a failure. As others have said, remember how good you felt when you weren't getting those urges. And keep reminding yourself that you've come this far, you can just go another day. Hope you get over this urge soon lovely
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Re: thought i was done... - May 13th 2011, 11:41 PM

I want to self harm. I haven't self harmed for about 6 months but i really want to at the minute. I can't tell my mum and dad because they think that is all behind me. I am scared.
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Re: thought i was done... - May 14th 2011, 12:38 AM

Hey love, first off, well done on being free for 6 months

I know things must seem so hard at the moment, it's horrible having urges Is there anything in particular triggering you right now? Have you taken a look at the alternatives list at the top of this forum?

Maybe you could think about how good it feels to have been free for so long and what got you to stop in the first place. It's never easy to overcome these urges but you CAN do it! If possible, take yourself away from whatever things you use to sh so you can't act on impulse. These feelings WILL pass and things WILL get easier, I promise

PM me if you want to chat xx
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Re: thought i was done... - May 14th 2011, 02:08 AM


You are definitely not crazy, urges come and go, you just have to find ways to get around them, try using the alternatives at the top of this forum, www.teenhelp.org/alternativesThey're really helpful and not everything will work for you, but I'm sure there has to be something, right? I'm trying to quit SH as well, I'm not even close to six months, but I try to think of it this way: If I can quite for that long one time, why can't I again? Try remember what helped you for so long and then try those things again, or adjust your ways of coping. It's not easy to get through the urges, but it's completely possible and I know you can do it! Just take each day one day at a time, each urge one urge at a time and try your best to tell yourself the urge will go away. Distract yourself and surround yourself with people, if that helps.
Good luck and take care, if you ever need anything, you can PM me. I'm always more than glad to help.

"i don't care your intentions. I just want you to know my self-hatred never took me where I wanted to go. At the end of the day...I can pick at the pain but I can't cut it away."
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