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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
lauren_160 Offline
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Unhappy 5 Years. - March 8th 2009, 12:57 PM

So Friday was the 5 year mark for me, 5 whole years of cutting=\
i didn't really have a chance to come on here since then because i've been out drinking the whole weekend trying to ignore that fact.

I keep thinking maybe this is the time to tell someone, but i always make excuses to myself, like in the last year, it's been oh, i'll tell them when i get back from florida, i'll tell them after this gig, after my exams, after their holiday, after christmas, after my birthday ETC.
and now i'm going to new york at the end of the month, and i know there is never going to be a right time to tell someone but eurghhh.

I haven't cut all week, but that's only because i've spent pretty much most of the week drunk, and i just feel like i'm trying to swap one self destructive habit for another, just like when i took up smoking aged 13 to try and stop myself self harming, and ended up with another addiction.

I can't do this anymore .


Lauren

"The stars are always there but we miss them in the dirt and clouds. We miss them in the storms. Tell them to remember hope. We have hope."

"But in the ruins there is still a canvas. There is still beauty in your brokenness. The faded scars show healing reminding me that even though Iíve been in dark places, Iíve survived and learned and become stronger".




   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: 5 Years. - March 8th 2009, 02:53 PM

lauren,

tell some one, i didn't want to i refused to over and over and over and over again and finally just got so upset and alone i called my mum at work and told her everything and at the time it was so emotionally draining but now i have the most amazing amount of support, i've seen a counselor and been able to talk to my mum about what was being said and it just helps so much

also try and quit the drinking thing i've done that two and you just end up in a whole world of more trouble

good luckxxx
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: 5 Years. - March 8th 2009, 09:23 PM

Lauren,
I'm sorry that you've reached a five year mark. That's a really, really long time to be dealing with something as hard as self harming. Drinking and smoking do not seem to be helping, either.
Maybe you won't reach six years. Maybe this will be it. You said you're done--why not be?? Why not try and quit? I'm sure that all of us and everyone around you will be amazingly supportive.
-Calla


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  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: 5 Years. - March 8th 2009, 09:48 PM

i think u should tell someone.
u hav become addicted so its not going to be easy but ive made it past the year mark and feel awrful i can only imagen how u feel
best wishes
Liz


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"For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control." 2 Timothy 1:7

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Re: 5 Years. - March 8th 2009, 09:49 PM

heyy im so sorry about it getting to five years... you're right, there really is never a right time to tell someone but you have to. you have to you have to you have to.
and by the way, you have to.

i dont think there is a way to beat something that strong without telling someone because, you need to have a reason to stop.

my best friend found out that i was cutting when my shirt slipped he saw my cuts and he was like 'tell some one or i will' so i told my small group leader at my church and he gave me the whole 'tell you mom by three tommorow or I will'
and i told my mom, im not gonna lie it was one of the hardest things I've had to do on my own. and it hurt so much but i knew i had too, that was around christmas and ive only slipped up twice since then.

but somebody has to know, you could even just let them catch you dressing or let your clothes slip so they see it.
Good luck and be strong
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Re: 5 Years. - March 8th 2009, 09:55 PM

Hey Lauren. I'm sorry that it's been so hard to give this habit up.
I really do think that your best best is to let someone know. It's easy to put it off and tell yourself you'll do it later, but when's later? As I'm sure you already know, it only gets worse and harder and harder to tell when you keep on putting it off. The point is that, you can get help, so why prohibit yourself from getting it? That's not right for you, and you don't deserve to feel like that. Telling someone about this will really take a heavy burden off your shoulders, and it will be a big step to recovery. Hey, who knows, maybe one day you'll be celebrating five years without self harm. I really believe that you can make it to that point, but the easiest way to get there will be to simply tell someone about your problem. It might be hard to speak up, but I know it will make it easier in the end, it really will.

Things will get better, I promise. Hang in there. x






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Re: 5 Years. - March 9th 2009, 05:55 PM

Hey Lauren,
I can relate to how you feel about self harming for so long, but you do have choices if you want things to change. Obviously, having no support and trying to get through on your own hasn't been helpful, because you are still self harming and feeling the way you do. If you took that huge step of telling someone, you would be able to get the support you truely deserve so that you could get better. But ultimately it is up to you to reach out for that help, and if you really want things to change you are going to have to push yourself to do it. I am not saying it is easy, because I know it is really difficult and takes so much courage. But I think you can do this! I think you should try and set a time when you will definitely tell someone. If it is any easier you could try writing it down and giving what you have written to someone you trust. That way you won't have to say it all out loud and have to worry about what you are going to say. You are more than welcome to PM me if you ever need someone to talk to. Stay strong :-)
   
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Re: 5 Years. - March 9th 2009, 08:24 PM

See you can do it,if you want to you really can. There never seems like a good time but when is anything good timing in life?
You need to realise that if you keep putting it off that you wont get help and you wont get better
leave someone a message and then go,so when you get back you have it out and you have to face it and you cant ru away from it

look online for tips about telling people,or maybe talk to someone a lil further away from home to begin with so you have a steping stone and something to build on
good luck
   
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