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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
lovatoac Offline
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Name: Devon
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I feel like the only way for people to realize is to attempt suicide - May 12th 2011, 09:05 PM

I have been struggling with suicidal thoughts since second grade and self harm since sixth grade. I've been gettting help lately, but no one at school knows. I wanted to tell my friend because I've been in a really rough spot, but then she attempted suicide. I feel like my problem is nothing compared to hers so no one will care I just burn myself. My mom knows and sent me to a therapist, but I don't think either know how much shit goes on in my mind and how many times I have really considered attempting. I tried telling my therapist but he didn't really think it was a serious problem. I feel like I should just attempt so that people realize how serious this is! Help, what should I do. I feel like I'll break down any moment now and just go insane. Also, at school I'm the overachieving perfect girl and no one realizes whats going on inside my head.


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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I feel like the only way for people to realize is to attempt suicide - May 12th 2011, 09:33 PM

Hey Devon,
I really don't think that attempting suicide would be the answer to this. What if you went too far and you died? Attempting can do a lot of damage to your body, and believe me it's not a nice thing to experience.
It doesn't matter if someone's got more problems than you have, it matters how you feel yourself. You may well be thinking the same thing. We all react to different situations, it doesn't mean that you're less important than her, you are important too.
Try to be as honest as you can with your therapist. Tell them how much you're struggling, tell them about the thoughts, maybe even just keep a journal and show that to them? The more you say, the more they'll be able to help you. Reach out and make sure you get that help, because things can get better, and the more you hide it the worse it's going to get.

Take care
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Re: I feel like the only way for people to realize is to attempt suicide - May 13th 2011, 09:46 AM

Hey Devon.

First off, I just want to say, I've been where you are. I was hurting, I didn't know how to express it, and I thought the only way anyone would notice was if I did something so desperate that they'd have no choice but to finally realise what was going on. I know how it feels, and I also know that it's not right.

You shouldn't feel that your problems aren't important because you think someone else has it worse. Your problems matter to you, and they're important. It might even help to talk to your friend about this - sometimes it helps just to know you're not alone, and you might be able to help each other.

People will care if you hurt yourself. I know it may not seem like it at times, but people do care, and they wouldn't want to see you doing this to yourself. I really think you should consider opening up to a close friend - a trouble shared is a trouble halved (or something more creative than that; you get my point).

Therapy can be a tricky process. Sometimes therapists just dont 'get' you. They may think you're better or worse than you are, they might come to false conclusions about you, and, sometimes, they just might not be the right person for you. Sometimes a therapist and patient just aren't compatible, and if you've been seeing him for a while now and it doesn't seem like he's helping, you could consider going to another one instead. Any thoughts of suicide or self-harm should be taken seriously, and if he's not doing that, he's not doing his job. The best you can do is try to explain it to him - if he still doesn't get it, it might be time to move on from him.

I know what it's like to feel like people have no idea who you are. Most people in my year look at me and see nothing but my grades, and think life is easy for me. Sometimes I just want to shout at them and tell them that I'm not okay, that things aren't easy, and that I'm constantly disappointed with my marks, even thought others might be thrilled to get the same results. Of course, I can't do that, so I settle for doing other things, like confiding in close friends, writing in a journal, and trying to accept that I don't have to be perfect.

If you feel suicidal, it's important to tell someone. Call a hotline, if you need, or talk to a friend, or relative, or anyone else who can help. You don't have to do this alone, and it's okay to ask for help.

Take care, okay?


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Re: I feel like the only way for people to realize is to attempt suicide - May 13th 2011, 03:22 PM

Hey there Devon,

I'm really sorry things are hard for you at the moment and i know how it feels. It is so horrible, but you can pull through i know you can.
You said your friends situation is more important, that isn't true; both of your problems are very important, because one may been seen as worse don't mean the other isn't as important. You still deserve and need the help.
I really don't think attempting suicide is the answer to this, granted people would notice but what if you went too far and killed yourself? Or caused serious damage to your body? So many people care about you and don't want you hurting yourself, they do care that you are burning yourself!
It can be really hard talking to theripists, especially if they "don't understand you", as Chess said, perhaps they aren't the right person for you and maybe you could look for another Theripist. I really think you should talk to someone you trust about this, such as a family member or a teacher, someone who can help and support you through this.
I know exactly how you feel when you say no one knows the real you or understands, i have the same problem as all people see is my grades. But you can work through this, i know it is hard but hang in there and stay strong, you can do it.

Feel free to PM me if you ever want/need to talk,
Take care,
Charli


'Never do anything that you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics'



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