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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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EndureEmo Offline
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my boyfriend ;s - May 15th 2011, 10:21 AM

  1. well, my boyfrind know i used to self harm and i was self harming while we were starting to date, and he said he will dump me if i do it again, and if i hurt my self. i really really feel like i have to, i know your going to tell me no to and its not worth it, and to use the methoed things to stop me, but they dont work for me!
  2. i really just have to cut its away of letting me self go and to let out stress, and fears and other things bottles up in my head. i feel hes going to dump me which wants me to do i more because i have a fear of him dumping me.
  • just how do i tell him about this?
  • i just nead someone to talk to me about this,
  • is there away i can get a buddy or someone to help me im going throgh alot! ;s


"Life isn't about how popular you are... What girl or boy you are dating or who you know. Life is about always being true to who you are or what you believe in. Never let anyone convince you that their way is better than your way. In the end all we have is our hearts... and our minds. This is the reason why we sing... this is the reason why we cry... this is why we live."

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Re: my boyfriend ;s - May 15th 2011, 11:02 AM

Eliza-Grace,

I'm sorry to say it, but if your boyfriend's going to dump you for self-harm, he's not a very good boyfriend. Maybe he's just saying it to make you stop, but that's not very nice of him, and also it's having the opposite effect. You might have to sit down and talk to him and explain how difficult it is for you, it's not something you can just quit without support. If he still doesn't get the message, I don't think he's worth your time, as he's not helping you in any way.

I know you are scared he will dump you, but if he's really that shallow it might be for the best, in the long run anyway. Remember you are a strong person, no matter what, and you're doing everything to fight this. If he can't respect that and try to help you then he's honestly not worth it. I said on your other thread you should probably break up with him, so that's my advice. I'm not saying it will be easy but it sounds like he is causing you a lot of problems so it might be best to get rid of him.

You can PM me if you like, I'll reply as often as I can. Take care <3




   
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EndureEmo Offline
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Re: my boyfriend ;s - May 15th 2011, 11:16 AM

ohkay, thank you for the help. he keeps sayying he just doesnt want me to hurt my self, but he dosnt know how hard it is to just stop something.. as much as id like him to stop smoking id never asking him too .. ;s
im just in a really confused head space with my boyfriend atm ;s


"Life isn't about how popular you are... What girl or boy you are dating or who you know. Life is about always being true to who you are or what you believe in. Never let anyone convince you that their way is better than your way. In the end all we have is our hearts... and our minds. This is the reason why we sing... this is the reason why we cry... this is why we live."

ANDY SIXX
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Re: my boyfriend ;s - May 15th 2011, 04:27 PM

Hey Eliza,

Have you tried explaining the whole self-harm thing to your boyfriend? When I started dating my boyfriend, he was aware that I was a self-harmer. He didn't like it, he wanted me to stop, and I tried everything to explain to him that it's a rather hard thing to do.

So, I ended up showing him some websites that explain self-harm, and ways to help/support someone who is struggling, pretty much. Honestly, I think this link is the best for explaining self-harm, why people do it, how to help, etc. There is a section of ways that someone who is close to a self-harmer can help, which may prove beneficial to your boyfriend.

After I helped my boyfriend understand self-harm, he got much more understanding. I was also able to quit self-harming with his help. I've slipped up, but he never got mad at me for it. He was sad, but instead of getting angry, he held me close and told me how he loved me, and how it hurt him to see me hurting myself.

I'm sure if he had a better understanding of self-harm, and had some advice on how to help you, things would probably get easier. It's worth a try, at least.


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Re: my boyfriend ;s - May 15th 2011, 06:30 PM

I'd tell him " it's an addiction, just like your smoking, and it has emotions linked to it" and if he can't understand that you can't just get over it by being told, then I really don't think he's worth your time. good luck, I hope all goes well.


I'm burning out like a bright light, I wasn't ready for this. You're adorable as hell, but I'm glancing at your wrist.
   
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