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The_Princess Offline
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Unhappy Addictive or what? - May 29th 2011, 05:54 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Okay, so at the moment I'm staying at my godmothers house, and i can't sleep. So I'm walking around and I walk into the kitchen and see the block of knifes just sitting there. I think to myself: "No, no, don't do it. You promised that you wouldn't again." Also the last time I cut my arm, my godmother flipped out on me and told me that I had to go to therapy or something. (Still haven't) But the other part of me was saying "Do it. You know how much you want to. No one will know. And it's so satisfying to watch the blood poor out." So, the evil side of me took over and I did it. (Getting completely frustrated when the knives were too dull to cut to the depth i wanted to) And while I was doing it, i got all jittery. The kind of jittery when you are nervous to go on a rollercoaster or something like that. It wasn't from loss of blood or anything cuz I barely lost any. So I thought it was almost like a drug. I always feel awful after i've done it, but i feel amazing when its going on. Does anyone have any idea whats going on here? Is cutting addictive? Also, is there any good way to cover up the after affects???

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Re: Addictive or what? - May 29th 2011, 08:12 AM

Hey there,

I'm sorry you're going through this, and well done for trying to stop even though this time you slipped up a bit. Don't let that put you off! To answer your question, yes, it can be addictive. This doesn't mean you can't stop though, it simply means its a bit harder. Again, don't let that put you off! You're strong and you can totally do this. Perhaps seeing someone like suggested would be a good idea. It may help you find ways to stop. Also, if you havn't already, I'd suggest you check out the SH alternatives shown here: http://www.teenhelp.org/alternatives

If you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to PM me at any time. Remember, you're not alone with this and nothing should stop you trying to get better. Not all of those alternatives will work, but if you keep trying, you're bound to find one that will. I wish you all the best.

Take care,

❤ Nana ❤

As far as we can discern,
the sole purpose of human existence
is to kindle a light in the darkness of mere being.
- Carl Jung

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addictive, cut, harm, jittery, sad

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