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summerbreeze Offline
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friend advice please - May 30th 2011, 07:36 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

i feel like the reason i started cutting again is because i believe i deserve it and i feel worthless. i feel this because my friends stopped talking to me because they saw me having anxeity attacks. im having anxeity attacks because i want to cut myself so bad i scare myself and im afraid tht my best friend wont ever speak to me again becaue i terrify him. i cant act normal around them because im not normal right now. im consumed with sadness, angrer, im hurt, im lost, i feel alone. how can anyone put on a smiling face and act carefree. believe me, i try, but i just get too exhausted trying to be happy around everyone. i fear tht the person they fell in love with, the old me, the happy me. is gone forever and they dont like this new depressed person that they do not understand and judge. im at loss as to do. i dont know if i should try talking to them because im afraid of them. it getts worse everyday they ignore me. its summer soon and i wont see them anymore. im terrfied. please, advice needed

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Re: friend advice please - May 30th 2011, 10:58 PM

First of all, I know exactly what you mean about feeling worthless and that you deserve all of this. I often feel that same way about myself. But trust me when I say that it's not true. No one's worthless and no one deserves this. Secondly, I'm so sorry that your friends aren't really accepting of who you truly are. I'm always one of the ones that puts on the happy face and acts like there's nothing wrong at all. And you're right, it does get exhausting; more than anyone could ever imagine. But maybe you could talk to your friends about what you're going through. Friends are usually more accepting once they find out what's wrong. That way they know how to respond. If you need anything, don't hesitate to PM me.

"When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down "happy." They told me I didn't understand the assignment. I told them they didn't understand life." --John Lennon

"What matters isn't that you fell, but that you got back up. No matter how many times it takes, it's that you get back up. We fall down and all isn't lost." --Renee Yohe
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Re: friend advice please - May 31st 2011, 05:12 AM

I'm sorry about your friends, I know what it's like to feel like you just can't be happy.

Sometimes I feel like my friends expect to shut up and put on a mask and pretend to be happy for a little while. Around certain people I actually am happy though, just know that you are totally worth it.

Talk to your friends and explain the whole situation and I'm sure that could help.

Good luck <3
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