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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Unhappy I need Help, please! - June 13th 2011, 03:25 AM

I need help. I am someone who self harms, and am having trouble with functioning in life without thinking about it constantly. It feels like I have no one. It is a constant struggle for me and I just wanted advice. Does life get any better? My friends tell me it does and that I am strong and will come through this. If I was strong I wouldn't do it right? It has continuously gotten worse for me and I am feeling lost. Can anyone help?
   
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Re: I need Help, please! - June 13th 2011, 03:27 AM

It gets better. Trust me. It took about three months for me, but it got better. And now I actually feel calm and happy


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Re: I need Help, please! - June 13th 2011, 03:36 AM

Three months to stop, or that is how long you have done it? I have self harmed for a little over three years, I don't know how much I have left.
   
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Re: I need Help, please! - June 13th 2011, 03:46 AM

hm. well it was three months, eight month break, then five months and now I'm back on track again


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Re: I need Help, please! - June 13th 2011, 03:49 AM

How do you hold on?
   
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Re: I need Help, please! - June 13th 2011, 04:54 AM

i have been self harm for over 2years but now...
i have been self harm free for a week and atm i am feeling so happy about life, <3 ! hope everything turns out for the best and lets just hope. !
stay strong <3


"Life isn't about how popular you are... What girl or boy you are dating or who you know. Life is about always being true to who you are or what you believe in. Never let anyone convince you that their way is better than your way. In the end all we have is our hearts... and our minds. This is the reason why we sing... this is the reason why we cry... this is why we live."

ANDY SIXX
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Re: I need Help, please! - June 13th 2011, 05:25 AM

Cutting or hurting yourself doesnt make you weak, it is how you cope with painful emotions. Things will get better over time, I myself used to cut when i was younger and can relate to how your feeling. Learning to live without hurting yourself is hard, it's not easy but it can be done, you just need to learn better ways of coping with painful emotions and events. Have you tried counselling? If not I would strongly urge you to. You can always pm me anytime
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Re: I need Help, please! - June 13th 2011, 06:09 AM

It all gets better in time. It truly does. And it doesn't just happen all of a sudden. It takes time. And you have to remember, life has its ups and downs. And also remember, things are usually rough before they get better. I know how hard it is to get through this. I've been self-harming for about 5 years now and I'm finally at a point that it's something I want to overcome. I just wanted to let you know that you're strong. Self-harming doesn't make you weak. Have you tried talking to anyone about what you're going through? I've been doing various forms of counseling for about a year now. It can really help. But if you need anything at all, don't hesitate to PM me.


"When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down "happy." They told me I didn't understand the assignment. I told them they didn't understand life." --John Lennon

"What matters isn't that you fell, but that you got back up. No matter how many times it takes, it's that you get back up. We fall down and all isn't lost." --Renee Yohe
   
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Re: I need Help, please! - June 13th 2011, 07:04 AM

For me its almost been 5 years since I started and something I have learnt which is hard to grasp but I think its true in every one who hurts themselves whether that be cutting, burning, starving, puting yourself in danger there is always an emotional reason why. I am in therapy and my cutting has reduced A LOT and I am feeling more able to deal with society and people and myself than I was when I wasn't working through my emotions. I'm not saying you need to go see a councellor or a therapist I just thing you would benifit from talking about things rather than self harming about them. My friend kept telling me things will get better but they didn't and the truth is things don't get better they just get easier because the past will never leave you, PM me if you need anyone to talk to. Keep safe hunny xxxxxxx


When your in danger or in harms way its no longer just your life, its everyone who you have seen, spoken to, met, shared experiences with because even if you don't think that they have had an influence on your life or made you realise something, you have probably influenced them. Your never the only one involved in your life.
   
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Re: I need Help, please! - June 13th 2011, 07:07 AM

it does not make you weak. You are still who you are. that's something that somebody i trust told me, and when you realize that it helps alot. i'm right now working on trying to recover from self harm and so i know all the emotions that go along with it, feeling worthless and not feeling like you can make it. but there's the cliche saying that is actually true, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. your life battles including this one tell your story. they are part of who you are and when you emerge from those battles you will be STRONGER than you ever were before. cutting is not a sign of weakness, it is a way of coping. just not a healthy way, but it does not make you weak and does not change your identity, who you are.
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Re: I need Help, please! - June 13th 2011, 02:23 PM

Anyone I have ever tried to talk to doesn't listen to me. They all blame it on hormones and growing up. Of course when your mother won't even give you the time of day that complicates things. I want to talk to someone but I don't know how to. I am so lost...
   
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Re: I need Help, please! - June 13th 2011, 02:45 PM

I'm sorry that your mom won't listen to you about these things. Maybe you could talk to someone at school about what you're going through?


"When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down "happy." They told me I didn't understand the assignment. I told them they didn't understand life." --John Lennon

"What matters isn't that you fell, but that you got back up. No matter how many times it takes, it's that you get back up. We fall down and all isn't lost." --Renee Yohe
   
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Re: I need Help, please! - June 13th 2011, 02:53 PM

I tried once talking to a teacher, because oddly enough having never met her I had a reoccurring dream that she was going to help me. I was standing outside with some people and looking down at the ground and she grabbed my arm and said it's time to "talk" to me. I told one of my friends who had her as a teacher and she said that the teachers niece committed suicide and that it was weird that I had a dream about it and she encouraged me to talk to the teacher. I wanted to tell her everything but when I went in to talk to her I couldn't make myself speak. Why did this happen to me?
   
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Re: I need Help, please! - June 13th 2011, 10:43 PM

It can definitely be hard the first time you try talking to someone. The first time can be pretty difficult. Maybe you could try talking to her again and write down what you're wanting to say. I know I have a hard time talking to certain people about things I'm going through, but then with other people, I find it easier. But I definitely suggest that if you feel like you can talk to this teacher, that you try going back to her.


"When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down "happy." They told me I didn't understand the assignment. I told them they didn't understand life." --John Lennon

"What matters isn't that you fell, but that you got back up. No matter how many times it takes, it's that you get back up. We fall down and all isn't lost." --Renee Yohe
   
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Re: I need Help, please! - June 14th 2011, 12:51 AM

What I did was I wrote down some of the problems in my life and she would comment on the kind of like a student teacher journal. I couldn't bring myself to tell her that I self harm because I am scared she would tell someone. I wish I never did it the first time
   
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Re: I need Help, please! - June 14th 2011, 02:06 AM

I'm glad that you found a way to talk to her about some of the things going on. Maybe in that journal you could ask her about confidentiality. That could always be a good way to find out where she stands with that and could give you a better idea on whether or not you can tell her right now about the self-harm. I'm glad that you've gotten this far! Keep it up! (:


"When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down "happy." They told me I didn't understand the assignment. I told them they didn't understand life." --John Lennon

"What matters isn't that you fell, but that you got back up. No matter how many times it takes, it's that you get back up. We fall down and all isn't lost." --Renee Yohe
   
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Re: I need Help, please! - June 14th 2011, 02:07 AM

She told me that as a teacher she would have to tell someone and they would send me away to get help. Now I am not so sure I can talk at all I am so scared.
   
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Re: I need Help, please! - June 14th 2011, 02:14 AM

I'm sorry it turned out that way! Do you think there's anyone else at school you could talk to about what's going on?


"When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down "happy." They told me I didn't understand the assignment. I told them they didn't understand life." --John Lennon

"What matters isn't that you fell, but that you got back up. No matter how many times it takes, it's that you get back up. We fall down and all isn't lost." --Renee Yohe
   
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Re: I need Help, please! - June 14th 2011, 02:17 AM

I don't think so....
   
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Re: I need Help, please! - June 14th 2011, 02:21 AM

Well if you need anyone to talk to about anything you can always PM me. I'll be glad to listen and give as much advice as I can.


"When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down "happy." They told me I didn't understand the assignment. I told them they didn't understand life." --John Lennon

"What matters isn't that you fell, but that you got back up. No matter how many times it takes, it's that you get back up. We fall down and all isn't lost." --Renee Yohe
   
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Re: I need Help, please! - June 14th 2011, 02:23 AM

Hey Bayhorse,
If you need someone to talk to you can PM me and we can talk.
   
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Re: I need Help, please! - June 14th 2011, 02:30 AM

Thank You at least it feels like you guys care even if I don't know you really.
   
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Re: I need Help, please! - June 14th 2011, 02:34 AM

We definitely care. (:


"When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down "happy." They told me I didn't understand the assignment. I told them they didn't understand life." --John Lennon

"What matters isn't that you fell, but that you got back up. No matter how many times it takes, it's that you get back up. We fall down and all isn't lost." --Renee Yohe
   
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Re: I need Help, please! - June 16th 2011, 02:06 AM

Thanks, That is so cool that I feel like I can talk to all of you. Maybe I do have the strength to find help it's just hiding...
   
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Re: I need Help, please! - June 16th 2011, 09:04 PM

I think we all have that strength within us. You just have to remember how much you want it. And you have to know if it's something you really want. Sometimes we feel like it might be something we really want, but deep down we're not truly ready for it. So if it's something that, deep down, you truly want, then I think you can find that strength within yourself.


"When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down "happy." They told me I didn't understand the assignment. I told them they didn't understand life." --John Lennon

"What matters isn't that you fell, but that you got back up. No matter how many times it takes, it's that you get back up. We fall down and all isn't lost." --Renee Yohe
   
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Re: I need Help, please! - June 16th 2011, 11:34 PM

I think I want it but I am scared of all of the results. Why do I care so much about what people think of me?
   
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Re: I need Help, please! - June 16th 2011, 11:56 PM

It's normal to be scared. I know exactly what that's like. Fear usually comes with any change. And since this is a major change, it's definitely ok to be scared. And I'm not exactly sure why you care so much. I'm kind of facing that same thing right now. I find that I act like I don't truly care what people think, but I really do care what others think of me. But I think as long as we're satisfied with who we are, then we shouldn't care about what others think. I know it's easier said than done, but I think it's something to work on.


"When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down "happy." They told me I didn't understand the assignment. I told them they didn't understand life." --John Lennon

"What matters isn't that you fell, but that you got back up. No matter how many times it takes, it's that you get back up. We fall down and all isn't lost." --Renee Yohe
   
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Re: I need Help, please! - June 16th 2011, 11:58 PM

yeah. I actually am not happy with myself at all, at times I hate myself. That is my biggest hurdle
   
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Re: I need Help, please! - June 17th 2011, 12:12 AM

I know how that is. Being comfortable with myself is something that I'm trying to work on right now.


"When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down "happy." They told me I didn't understand the assignment. I told them they didn't understand life." --John Lennon

"What matters isn't that you fell, but that you got back up. No matter how many times it takes, it's that you get back up. We fall down and all isn't lost." --Renee Yohe
   
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Re: I need Help, please! - June 17th 2011, 12:26 AM

yeah. I just found out that my best friend is moving to another state
   
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Re: I need Help, please! - June 17th 2011, 12:29 AM

I'm so sorry to hear that. Don't let this move break the bond between the 2 of you, though.


"When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down "happy." They told me I didn't understand the assignment. I told them they didn't understand life." --John Lennon

"What matters isn't that you fell, but that you got back up. No matter how many times it takes, it's that you get back up. We fall down and all isn't lost." --Renee Yohe
   
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Re: I need Help, please! - June 17th 2011, 12:31 AM

It wont I know it but I need her to be close. She doesn't want to leave. and she is my best friend ever! she is one of my only friends.
   
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Re: I need Help, please! - June 17th 2011, 01:17 AM

All I know to tell you is to take advantage of this time you do have together. I know these times can be tough, especially when they are one of your only close friends.


"When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down "happy." They told me I didn't understand the assignment. I told them they didn't understand life." --John Lennon

"What matters isn't that you fell, but that you got back up. No matter how many times it takes, it's that you get back up. We fall down and all isn't lost." --Renee Yohe
   
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Re: I need Help, please! - June 17th 2011, 01:27 AM

yeah. I am going to hang out with her and be the Best friend I can. I hope she doesn't forget me.
   
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Re: I need Help, please! - June 17th 2011, 01:57 AM

That sounds like a good idea. But if she's the kind of best friend that she sounds like she is, then she won't forget you. Don't get me wrong, distance is hard, but if you both work at it, it won't break the relationship. I still keep up with a friend that moved away about 9 years ago and another that moved about 4 years ago. So it can still work out. (:


"When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down "happy." They told me I didn't understand the assignment. I told them they didn't understand life." --John Lennon

"What matters isn't that you fell, but that you got back up. No matter how many times it takes, it's that you get back up. We fall down and all isn't lost." --Renee Yohe
   
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Re: I need Help, please! - June 17th 2011, 02:13 AM

Thank You it helps a lot really.
   
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Re: I need Help, please! - June 17th 2011, 12:32 PM

I glanced through the replies. I noticed people saying things will get netter, and they will. But I'm seeing some short time frames... I don't want to give you expectations or false hope. It might take a while for things to get better but they will. It might also take some work and effort on your part. That could mean getting help. I think your teacher was wrong to word it like that, that made it sound like they would literally sen you away when they'd probably make you see a therapist. Or possibly the hospital for a pysch hold to make sure you're safe. That isn't a bad thing though. You should tell your parents, they probably won't say cutting is all hormones. Keep bugging people for help until they listen.

Things do get better.



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Re: I need Help, please! - June 17th 2011, 03:38 PM

JUST saw this thread again..you asked me how I hold on? I found someone that I can just collapse on when I need to..I seriously think I have to talk to her each and every day because I just don't feel like I can really face life without support.


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Re: I need Help, please! - June 17th 2011, 04:24 PM

Shana, while teachers are usually required to report when a student is harming themselves, it's not a guarantee that you'll be "sent away". That's not really something that's usually actually necessary with self-harm related cases. And yes, it is scary to tell someone about this stuff, I'm sure, but she only wants to help, and if you told her she could probably really give you a hand. Just something to think about.



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Re: I need Help, please! - June 17th 2011, 04:46 PM

I was just scared because I know two people both in younger grades at different schools, but they were in the area. They both got sent away.
   
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