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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
hypocrite? Offline
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Name: Tori
Age: 27
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Location: new york

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Join Date: January 12th 2009

i have to get over this or im gonna die - March 11th 2009, 02:11 AM

ive been into self harm for a while and lately its been really bad 2 years ago my boyfriend killed himself and i had this fixation in my mind that if i tried to help others like him he'd come back meanwhile how can i help others without helping myself first and this only spiralled me deeper into my own depression now im cutting longer and deeper than ever its even come down to me cutting myself in the school bathroom if i dont get some control i dont know what will happen to me and i have literally no one to turn to.
   
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Name: Maria
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Re: i have to get over this or im gonna die - March 11th 2009, 03:37 AM

Hey Tori-

Are you sure you have no one to turn to? Perhaps there are people there willing to help that you just don't see. How about a school counselor? A relative you trust? A teacher you trust? I'm sure there is someone out there who would be beneficial to you, if you look hard enough.

I'm really sorry about your boyfriend, and I can't even begin to imagine how hard that must be for you. I mean this kindly, but he won't come back, as much as I wish I could bring him back for you. If it's hurting you, it's not worth giving all your time to others. Though, if you like helping others for other reasons, feel free to help. After you decide to put yourself first. If you're in a bad mood, don't help other people. Get yourself in an okay, healthy state, then help others. I know it's easier said than done, but it's something you have to do to be able to help other people. You can't help others until you can help yourself.

Stay safe when you're self harming to begin with. While I wish you wouldn't self harm, if you are, at least be safe. Use clean blades, use band-aids. Check out the First Aid and do whatever you can to make sure you don't get any cuts infected. And if you do think one is infected, go to the doctor.

If you decide you want to stop, which you have to decide you want to before you can, then try using Alternatives and Distractions. Use them when you have urges. Just try to make it through the next day, hour, minute, whatever you can make it through. Soon days will start adding up, and it will be a really huge accomplishment.

Stay safe. =)
Maria.
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Re: i have to get over this or im gonna die - March 11th 2009, 04:34 AM

Hey Tori. First I want to say welcome to Teen Help. :-)
I know how badly it sucks to lose someone close to you. And it feels good to start and go after a cause in their memory. It makes you feel closer to them, and the respect given to them is comforting on many levels. That said, it's good that you want to try to help people, and I'm glad you want to remember him by doing so. To continue what Maria said on helping yourself before you can help others; One thing I've found out recently, is that the only way a person can do their best in helping others that are depressed or suicidal (among other problems) is when you are at least <b>somewhat</b> stable yourself. It might not be a bad idea to put a hold on helping those close to you that need it, and take a few days or however long you need, and try to gain some footing with yourself. Then you can tackle the problems of others, and i Assure you that you will be plenty more helpful to them.

I can't offer much for Cutting, as i don't have much experience with it personally, but those close to me do, and I would listen to Maria about the safety. and Distractions help me a lot with my hitting struggles. i usually just go for a walk and let my mind wander. nature is so soothing, and you can lose yourself.

As for some things you can do for yourself. you could take a day, and do some of the things you used to love doing that you haven't done in a while. maybe have a bucket of ice cream and watch your old favorite disney movie, maybe reading a new book you think looks good. You could take a bubble bath, or just sleep all day. whatever you feel like. Just Remember, it's okay to be okay with yourself.<3

Best of luck,
-Scott


"Picture a young boy in pieces and streets with leveled malfunctions
No name to be called 'Redeemer'
I'll fix him restore him... With the love if no other
Think of all the things you did before
Write them in a letter that says 'Rebor
n'"

--Three Evils (Embodied in Love and Shadow)
by Coheed and Cambria

   
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