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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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I don't cut, but I want to... - June 19th 2011, 05:45 AM

I don't think about suicide as often as I used to, and I haven't attempted it for a really, really long time. The thing is, despite all that, I still want to hurt myself. I used to do so by just hitting myself or pinching hard enough to leave a bruise for a while, maybe even to bleed a little bit. I want to cut myself because I feel like it would be easier, but I know I wouldn't be able to stop if I ever started, though I probably won't. I just wanted to say this because it makes me feel really sick whenever I look at knives or scissors or needles... I don't like being near them because I'm afraid I'll snap in front of people and try to hurt myself. It sounds stupid, I guess, but it's just my personal thoughts. :/
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Re: I don't cut, but I want to... - June 19th 2011, 06:18 AM

Coming from someone who has cut, it isn't worth it. Believe me. You'll more then likely regret it, if not right after then sometime soon, and soon it just becomes addicting so no matter how hard you wanna quit you just... can't. We're all glad to hear your suicidal thoughts have gone away, but cutting is (I don't want to sound hypocritical, I apologize) really the worst thing. It's hell, if you'll pardon my language. It really is no help and it'll stay with you forever.
   
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Re: I don't cut, but I want to... - June 19th 2011, 07:19 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by TotallyWorthless View Post
Coming from someone who has cut, it isn't worth it. Believe me. You'll more then likely regret it, if not right after then sometime soon, and soon it just becomes addicting so no matter how hard you wanna quit you just... can't. We're all glad to hear your suicidal thoughts have gone away, but cutting is (I don't want to sound hypocritical, I apologize) really the worst thing. It's hell, if you'll pardon my language. It really is no help and it'll stay with you forever.
I understand that, I really do. It's just sort of...an irrational want. It doesn't really make sense, because I know I don't REALLY want to cut myself. I just want an outlet, if that makes more sense. Like I said, I'll probably never actually do it. I don't find myself being strong enough to be able to, which, in itself, is a good thing, I suppose.


when i wake up, the dream isn't done
i want to see your face and know i made it home
if nothing is true, what more can i do?

✧ I AM STILL PAINTING FLOWERS FOR YOU ✧

R.I.P. James Owen Sullivan
The Reverend Tholomew Plague, FoREVer

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Re: I don't cut, but I want to... - June 19th 2011, 06:27 PM

I self harm, please dont do it.. You might feel really triggered and want to cut yourself but dont because afterwords you regret it and you can't hide it. Then the addiction starts and you cant stop. I'm trying to stop, so please dont do it. x


It serves a lot of functions in my life. I use it as a way to punish myself, I use it as a way to medicate myself, I use it for the tension release when things get too strong or too built up. –ditto

Faking a smile like always

- Pm me if you need help or a friend xx
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Re: I don't cut, but I want to... - June 19th 2011, 06:42 PM

Sorry, I don't know how to attach a link.
If you look on the Alternatives thread in the Self Harm forum, you can find so many different ways to let your emotions out... definitely much more productive (and non scarring!)
Check it out
   
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Re: I don't cut, but I want to... - June 19th 2011, 07:21 PM

You said you want an outlet and I totally get that.

We all need a way of venting or releasing our emotions/thoughts.

Good thing is there are plenty of healthy ways to do this, ones which won't leave you covered in scars.

For example, I find writing helpful. Either on here, or on paper. The best thing is writing down lots of horrible stuff that you need to get out and then tearing it to shreds. So satisfying.

Then there's exercise, which I also find helps. After a stressful day at work I love to go pound the water at my local swimming pool. The endorphins that my brain creates whilst doing so also make me feel better.

Sometimes, just small things such as throwing a ball or punching a pillow can help. You just need to experiment to find out what works for you.

A few years ago I went through a similar situation of wanting to cut. I found that for a long time I couldn't, due to the fear of infection (I suffered from severe OCD). In the end I did try it, but I can honestly say it didn't do anything for me. It certainly didn't give me a release.

So yeah, as I said, try some other things. Painting, writing, exercise, screaming, anything. As Kyra said above, check out the threads in the forum on alternatives.


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Can build a bridge across the stream..."

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Re: I don't cut, but I want to... - June 19th 2011, 08:42 PM

Really guys, thanks for all the help. I've tried a lot of these things before, actually. I love writing and it's a great distraction for me, but when things go wrong, I can't focus on anything else but wanting to hurt myself. I usually end up punching and hitting something and crying until my throat hurts...but I guess that's all better than intentionally hurting myself.


when i wake up, the dream isn't done
i want to see your face and know i made it home
if nothing is true, what more can i do?

✧ I AM STILL PAINTING FLOWERS FOR YOU ✧

R.I.P. James Owen Sullivan
The Reverend Tholomew Plague, FoREVer

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Re: I don't cut, but I want to... - June 20th 2011, 10:49 PM

I used to be like that. I fought the urge to cut for over 3 years before I caved a few months ago. I really wish I hadn't and ,as every cutter will tell u, never start. What I do now when I want to cut is I talk to someone who doesn't want me to. Sometimes it's just sending them a facebook message. If u ever want to talk my e-mail is elodie11235@gmail.com
   
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