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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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InTheFlood Offline
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Name: Amelia
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How do i explain - March 12th 2009, 12:19 AM

Okay so you guys know i told my mum about everything and stuff but she isn't going to take me to the doctor she informed me of this earlier today.
She put me on St Johns wort and bought a bag of ice and kind of left me to it
She thinks that her job is done and she doesn't have to do anything else, the first thing she does is get me to work on doing the dishwasher, yes mother you've just found out your daughter self harms and set her a task surrounded by knives...sensible.
I'm not being lazy either i want to do it but it takes me like an hour because i stop and stare at the knives for 90% of the time.
But how do i explain that it takes time to get over? I don't think she gets how addictive it is. I don't get why its so hard for her to understand, she deals with stuff like this for a living why is this any different?
But how do i explain to her that i need help,
she'll just think either;
A.) I'm being lazy (which i really wish i was)
or
B.) I'm attention seeking...
I kind of thought her being in the profession she's in, it would be easier, and she'd realise i need the support. But she's really distanced herself. We used to be able to talk well enough, despite all the arguments. Now I feel like she doesn't want to know me.


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Re: How do i explain - March 12th 2009, 12:52 AM

Hey Ameila,
She probably is still trying to understand what you've told her. It might have come as a shock to her, and although she didn't react to it the best way I'm sure she cares and wants to be there for you, she might just not know how or what to do exactly. I think it would help if you found out some more information about understanding self-harm and showed it to her, or if you don't feel comfortable talking to her face to face right now you could write her a note telling her how you feel. Also, if you want to, why you self-harm, and explain that it's not for attention or because you're lazy. Make sure the two of you are on the same page and you're able to get the support you need. Feel free to PM me anytime. Good luck- It will work out soon.


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Re: How do i explain - March 12th 2009, 01:39 AM

I agree with Erica; most parents when they first find out are in a kind of denial about it for a bit, until they're better informed. She is not doing this because she doesn't care or doesn't want to know you, it's truly what you said; she doesn't understand what you're going through. The note or just getting information about SH to show/tell her sounds like a great idea, that or getting someone else (aka another adult, preferably one she knows but if not then just someone specializing in psychology/teens/SH) to talk to her. Give her a day or so to mull over it, but don't let her forget that your problem isn't going to just go away (when I first told my mom about my SH she assumed I'd stopped right after I told her this appears to happen alot). If you can, talk to your doctor and see what their opinion is on whether/what kind of treatment you should get. Take care hun, and remember you've got a great support system here on TH! PM me if you ever need to talk, too.


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I'll say "you"

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