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trumpet Offline
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Advice for my friend... and me - July 1st 2011, 07:02 AM

Alright well one of my best friends has major depression and in the past has self harmed. I belive she may still be doing this. Luckily for her she went thru some intensive inpatient therapy to help her.I have done my best to be her pillar of strength through this ordeal espesially because her parents haven't always been the best at handling things like this. Now I must be honest I have struggled with some very minor self harm issues over the past couple of months. Now it's becoming harder and harder for me to tell her to be strong and fight the urges when I myself can succumb to them. I know many people say that they never thought they would think they'd do this to themselves and I feel the same way. I guess my question really is how can I help her be happy and not hurt herself when that is something that I slightly struggle with? Ps I'm really only going thru a very minor case so it's not that I wish to be told to seek help because I'm fine. I just need advice for my friend's sake.
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Re: Advice for my friend... and me - July 1st 2011, 09:14 AM

Hey Abbie,

It sounds like you are in a very tough situation at the moment and it is great that you want to help your friend.
You sound like an amazing friend and you friend is lucky to have you there for her. Sometimes when dealing with things like this, due to the stress and depression that your friend is going through, it can bring you down as well; I suggest that you need to concentrate on yourself first. Even though it is great that you are helping your friend, it will become harder for you to help and will be no use if you become just as depressed.
I know you said that yours is only minor at the moment, but SH is a vicious cycle, it will become worse and the need for it will increase. It is very addictive and i would strongly suggest getting help for it now before it gets worse. Perhaps take a look at the alternatives thread, not all of them may work for you, but hang in there and you WILL find one that does.
I would encourage your friend to talk to her parents or an adult she trusts so there isn't so much pressure on you, and she can still get the help and support that she needs.
Hang in there, you CAN do this,

Take care,

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Re: Advice for my friend... and me - July 1st 2011, 05:28 PM

I agree with Charli...you say that it's not that bad for you, BUT if it's gotten to the point where it's making it hard for you to support your friend you know that it's gradually getting worse. Maybe the both of you have someone that you can go to together? It's hard to encourage someone to go to someone for help...it's a lot easier when there's someone else with them, and if you're both having similar problems that could potentially be helpful. You can't really MAKE someone be happy..I know at the points where I've struggled with some horrible episodes of depression all I wanted was for someone to MAKE me happy...but in the end you have to want to REALLY get better and you have to have a true desire to keep going...I'd recommend you both set yourself some goals; it could be really helpful in the long run. best of luck!

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