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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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I'm so pathetic - March 12th 2009, 06:56 PM

I sometimes self harm, but I only ever scrape at my wrists/arms. I use sharp objects (like keys for instance) which will scrape the skin and leave a mark, but almost never draw blood. I just can't find the courage to actually draw blood from myself... I'm so rubbish I can't even do this right....
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I'm so pathetic - March 12th 2009, 07:01 PM

You're not pathetic at all! No matter how you hurt yourself, it's still self harm. It doesnt mean that your weaker than a person that cuts badly. You have your own pain and your own way of dealing with it.

If you ever need to chat about it, feel free to PM me.
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I'm so pathetic - March 12th 2009, 08:05 PM

Hey Frankie,

You aren't rubbish at all. Believe it or not, it's probably a good thing you don't actually draw blood. The way I see it, it's sort of like the 'point of no return', once you draw blood. Once you do, you're one step closer to losing yourself to an addiction, and self-harm really can control you from the first cut.

What you're doing is still self-harm, as Hannah said, because you're still trying to harm yourself. SH really isn't a reliable coping method at all because it tends to make things worse instead of better, you aren't solving the problem at all but harming yourself. Delaying the pain doesn't make it go away. Do you know what causes you to want to hurt yourself? If you can identify the causes you can work around them, and work to fix whatever the problems may be. Falling back on SH though, it's never the best option because it really can cause more problems than it can solve.

Let me know if you ever want to talk about anything, ok? Take care of yourself.

how could anyone ever tell you, you are anything less than beautiful?| PM Me
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  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I'm so pathetic - March 13th 2009, 03:18 AM

Your not pathetic! Don't think that.
Scraping like you are can be the first stage of SH. Stop now. Cutting will only cover up what's really upseting you. It can become an addiction, and that is not ever going to make you feel better.

[sorry I can't word things as well as they did ^, but feel free to PM if you'd like to vent.]
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I'm so pathetic - March 13th 2009, 03:34 AM

To reiterate, you are NOT pathetic. Stop now, though, because it will just lead to a long road of addiction to more serious SH. I like to think that you can't bring yourself to draw blood because deep down you don't want to go further in the SH. Get help now and don't wait.
If you need someone to talk to, feel free to PM me.

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  (#6 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I'm so pathetic - March 13th 2009, 03:56 AM

Repetition is the father of learning so to repeat what everyone said YOU ARE NOT PATHETIC! What you are doing is still self harm and if you don't quit now it could lead to more serious unsafe behavior. I am happy to hear you aren't drawing blood but just because there is no blood or scars doesn't mean it is okay. Please try and find healthy alternatives and reach out to someone when you are feeling down. Stay strong and get better. Just for the sake of it I will repeat it again YOU ARE NOT PATHETIC!

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  (#7 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I'm so pathetic - March 13th 2009, 04:58 PM

Thanks guys. Love you all.

I know I should stop, and I'm not 'addicted' yet, as in I don't do it very often. So I don't really think of it as an addiction, which I know is bad...But its just so hard. I always heard of people who SHed before, and I always thought that would never be me. And now it is.
I know I need to tell someone, but I just don't know how. After your replies last night my friend was (coincidentally) talking about when she SHed ages ago - and like me it wasn't 'severe' and how she eventually told etc. I was trying to drop sort of hints but I don't think she got it. Or at least she didn't say anything...
I hate this
  (#8 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I'm so pathetic - March 13th 2009, 11:55 PM

With self harm, I don't recommend depending on dropping hints and hoping people understand what is going on. When I ended up having to tell about my own self injury years ago, I was addicted and as with drugs, I had to have my fix of adrenaline rush. I had to flat out say,"I need help. I've been cutting myself," and show them the areas damaged.

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"Whatever souls are made of, his and mine are the same."
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  (#9 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I'm so pathetic - March 14th 2009, 01:53 AM

I agree with Kathy; when you're wanting to get help, you need to straight out admit that you need attention and be honest about how you're feeling. Also make sure that you aren't only talking to your friends; try to find an adult or counselor you can trust who may be more experienced and therefore qualified to help you. Sometimes people will misunderstand how you're feeling, so be VERY careful who you tell.

I'm sure you've already heard about the Alternatives sticky at the top of Self-Harm, but if you haven't looked at it lately I'd recommend it. Just reading through that list (or finding others online, there are tons) can be a calming exercise.

Lastly, self-harmers aren't a class of people to be rated according to how much damage they do. You're physically hurting yourself as a coping mechanism, which is a horrible habit to get into. So don't compare yourself to others, you deserve help just as much as they do and you can get it. Please, please do anything else when you're feeling overwhelmed, and keep posting on here. We want to help you get back together <3 PM me if you need anything, I'd be glad to listen.

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When you say "always", I'll say "true"
When you say "love", I'll say "you"
I'll say "you"

It gets better.
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