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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Is it just me? - July 7th 2011, 02:51 AM

I know this is true for me (and i saw an interview with Demi Lavato where she was talking about her cutting where she seemed to do it too) but like no matter who im talking to i dont ever say 'cutting' out loud when im talking to someone about how i used to do it. and in the interview Demi mostly seemed to refer to it as 'it'. the interviewer said cutting a lot but demi maybe said it once. is that how most people are when they are talking about themselves?
   
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Re: Is it just me? - July 7th 2011, 02:56 AM

I don't like saying it. I usually refer to it as "when I used to be stupid." That's just my way of talking about it.
   
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Re: Is it just me? - July 7th 2011, 03:05 AM

I can't say it. I was reading something to my best friend that I worte a while back and I came to that word and turned around to face her. she was staring at me and I was like... uh.. I can't read it anymore it is embarrassing and I told her she could finish it and I walked out to go shower. She said she understood. I thought that I was the only one!!! wow...
   
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Re: Is it just me? - July 7th 2011, 03:07 AM

no you're not the only one. i like cant say it unless im talking online or through text. it is extremely embarrassing to talk about. i think thats a good way to tell apart the people who self harm for their own reasons and the people who self harm for attention
   
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Re: Is it just me? - July 7th 2011, 03:10 AM

I am so glad I am not the only one. I can barely text it... It is embarrassing...
   
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Re: Is it just me? - July 7th 2011, 03:24 AM

yea like idk if you care at all about Demi Lavato but if you've seen or if you look up her interview with 20/20 i feel bad for her because she seems uncomfortable talking about it
   
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Re: Is it just me? - July 7th 2011, 03:29 AM

I am going to look it up right now...
   
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Re: Is it just me? - July 7th 2011, 04:57 AM

even on here I can't say it. I really don't know why, I guess I feel vulnerable and uncomfortable? I never feel ashamed, but it does reach the spot that makes me cringe a bit when I say it. I always abbreviate it to SH or when I talk to my one friend that knows, I always tend to say "that anxiety thing I do".. Lol


"Although only breath, words which I command are immortal." Sappho

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Sometimes I feel the hate break my mind. Sometimes I feel they deserve it this time.
May the bridges I burn light my way." - I, Alone - Otep

   
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Re: Is it just me? - July 7th 2011, 05:32 AM

yea, i avoid saying it at all costs. like when my family found out my parents wanted to drive out to my school and come get me for the weekend but i convinced them to just talk to me online. i couldnt face their questions. and now its just like one of those things in the family that you dont talk about, so at least i dont have to openly talk about it
   
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Re: Is it just me? - July 7th 2011, 05:42 AM

I'm with you here. The first and only time I ever told someone, which was my best friend I referred to it as cutting because it was online (although we were videochatting, I typed it to her) and now I would tell her 'it' because I'm very uncomfortable saying it.


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Re: Is it just me? - July 7th 2011, 06:07 AM

I just saying hurt myself/ hurting myself, etc. Never the word cutting.


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Re: Is it just me? - July 8th 2011, 05:22 AM

its so hard saying it!!!
   
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Re: Is it just me? - July 8th 2011, 09:17 PM

Yeah; I can't say it either. and then people say it and I wince everytime. I also had this guy at my church that did the 'wrist cutting' hand motion...yeah that literally puts me in pain to think about agh. I'll usually say SH on here or when I talk about it to other people I call it getting numb.


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Re: Is it just me? - July 9th 2011, 06:15 AM

Demi is such an inspiration to me. Whenever things get hard, me and by best friend always take a royal blue sharpie and right 'Stay Strong' on our palms.

And i can't say it, type it, anything. Its even hard reading it. I usually say "self harming' 'hurting myself' or 'me being stupid'

Quote:
'wrist cutting' hand motion
I hate that. I nearly pass out. One of my childhood best friends did it and I was so shocked, i just forgot to breath. And this girl at school does it to be insulting (even though im positive she doesnt know i SH) Its just so painful really.


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Re: Is it just me? - July 10th 2011, 06:39 PM

now that i think about i realize that ve only said cutting when i first told someone and then after that i just say me being stupid or something. and yea i love how wonderfully Demi's been handling everything. and when people make the motion around me i usually just laugh it off with them as to not give away that fact that i take offense to it or that it bothers me because i dont want them knowing that i s/h
   
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Re: Is it just me? - July 10th 2011, 10:36 PM

It's weird isn't it, how much that one word can bother us so much despite the fact that really, it is what we're doing / did to ourselves. I'm not a fan of it either and most certainly can't say it out loud to anyone, I can't even say self harm, I normally just say, "ya know, that thing I did before" whilst looking at my arms.
I think it's great on here where everyone can be so open about things without being judged, everyone's so understanding. Glad I'm not the only one with the issue saying that word though.
   
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Re: Is it just me? - July 10th 2011, 10:58 PM

I also have a hard time with the C word. I normally use self-harm or SH for text but while speaking to someone I use it, that, etc. General terms.

I even flinch sometimes when people use the C word in a context. It's such a shame..


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And I looked and behold: a pale horse.
And his name, that sat on him, was Death.
And Hell followed with him.


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Re: Is it just me? - July 10th 2011, 11:35 PM

the only way we know how to deal with our issues causes us another issue....embarrassment. its a never ending cycle
   
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Re: Is it just me? - July 10th 2011, 11:39 PM

I rarely ever say the C word referring to myself. Like, it never happens. I always refer to it as something different. Sometimes it's referred to as my self destructive habits, or it, or the thing etc.
Unless it's online, I say it more online/texting. But I don't even do that much.



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Re: Is it just me? - July 12th 2011, 12:30 PM

When I am talking about it at all I usually just say harm. I can't really say much more than that. You are right it is very embarrassing.
   
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Re: Is it just me? - July 13th 2011, 12:43 AM

Like everyone said I hate using that word, I'll use self-harm more often cause it not as scary to me and when I see my friend doing that motion I want to punch them. Cause kids in my class used to joke about it so I agree with you guys


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Re: Is it just me? - July 13th 2011, 11:33 PM

I never say it. whenever I'm talking to one of my friend about self harm I just say "it" everytime.


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Re: Is it just me? - July 16th 2011, 02:44 AM

I pretty much use what Megan does. I refer to it as "hurting myself." Unless I'm talking to someone about how I'm in recovery, such as I'll be getting a wax and I don't want to have to deal with questions about my scars if I can avoid them, so I will probably be more bold about it then simply so that there's not any window of opportunity for them to jump through to talk about it.


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Re: Is it just me? - July 16th 2011, 05:25 AM

A lot of people are uncomfortable when saying that word. However, I am usually quite comfortable with saying it when I am talking to someone who I know does it (I'm not saying it here so I don't make anyone uncomfortable), but sometimes I will just say self harm, or something like that instead.
   
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Re: Is it just me? - July 17th 2011, 07:47 PM

I don't like saying it either. I understand what she was doing.


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Re: Is it just me? - July 17th 2011, 09:00 PM

When asking my friend, who SHs, I ask her, "Were you okay this weekend?" If she wasn't, she says, "Um...I'm better now, but it was a rough day." We can't say it. It's the forbidden word unless we have a legit, it-must-be-said conversation. It's kind of like, excuse the nerdy-ness, but saying "Voldermort," in comparison to "You-Know-Who," for Harry Potter characters.
   
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Re: Is it just me? - July 18th 2011, 02:45 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by XxLoveIsALuxuryxX View Post
When asking my friend, who SHs, I ask her, "Were you okay this weekend?" If she wasn't, she says, "Um...I'm better now, but it was a rough day." We can't say it. It's the forbidden word unless we have a legit, it-must-be-said conversation. It's kind of like, excuse the nerdy-ness, but saying "Voldermort," in comparison to "You-Know-Who," for Harry Potter characters.
This is how I usually do things too. If I'm referring to it, I'll just say hurting myself.
   
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Re: Is it just me? - July 18th 2011, 03:03 AM

Do you know what's weird?? I can say the word, I can say 'I cut myself,' 'I used to cut myself'' etc, but that's the msot I could say about it. If I was asked why I did it, or how I felt when I did it, or what it was like, I feel that I couldn't physically speak about it.


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